[aarya10]

please DON'T QUOTE THIS POST. i'm so scared and lost. the last time i saw my boyfriend, he was happy, we had a casual conversation about a movie.

the next morning, he's gone. he leaves me a long message saying he needs time to himself and that it's about him, not me. he's spent nearly a thousand dollars in this weekend alone.

he didn't tell his employer anything, and now they're going to fire him but they can't even contact him. his phone's not in use, he's blocked me on all social media. i contacted his parents, and they say he's been locked in his room all weekend, not seeing anyone or speaking to anyone.

if we'd had a fight or if i'd done something wrong, i'd know. but this is so unlike him. his mom even said his breath smelled of smoke, but he doesn't smoke...

what's happening to him? i'm so scared. he's like a completely different person.

[MickeyCheeky]

That looks scary..

I'm sorry

[Thunder Bow]

He has severe depression. His parents need to get him some help.

[eyesclosed]

Gosh kick the door in already. Call the police he is in need of attention. Maybe that's what he wants. He may be on drugs close your account if its joint. Don't let him just sit there go ask him, you have to do something .

[aarya10]

He comes from a very conservative and poor family, who would rather believe he was possessed than believe that mental illness even exists. And they don't care about him enough to get him help.

I went to see him and he refused to even acknowledge me. He stayed in bed and wouldn't even move. I felt like I was looking at a stranger. I can't even contact him now because he's blocked me off every social media ever.

This is so unlike him, guys. I don't get it. We didn't even fight? The last time we saw each other, he told me he couldn't wait to see me again..

[amandalouise]

Im sorry only he and his own doctors can tell you what is wrong with him. sure we can speculate all we want by saying to you he has this or that but that doesnt make it so. what I can tell you is that maybe because he spent all that money you posted about that he didnt have the money to pay for his cell phone. the fact that he said to you he needs time alone says to me that he does not want any contact from you so he is protecting himself from your urges to do so. (for example you wouldnt know he blocked you on facebook or that he blocked his cell phone from you if you hadnt tried to contact him when someone is blocked they dont get a notice saying dont contact this person because they blocked you , only after contact does the one forbidden contact recieves the message that their contact could not go through because they were blocked)

my suggestion is to leave him alone, he said he wanted time to be alone so its time to respect his wishes to have no contact from you.

[*Laurie*]

I don't think his behavior has to do with you. Can you try to stop making it about yourself? I'm not trying to be mean, I just really think there's something going on with your bf that has far more to do with him that with you.

[aarya10]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

I don't think his behavior has to do with you. Can you try to stop making it about yourself? I'm not trying to be mean, I just really think there's something going on with your bf that has far more to do with him that with you.

In what way am I making this about myself? The reason I posted this on a mental health forum and not a relationship advice forum was because I was worried about HIS mental health.

The reason I'm talking about myself at all is to show how none of this makes sense, not to show how much he's hurt me or whatever.

[aarya10]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Im sorry only he and his own doctors can tell you what is wrong with him. sure we can speculate all we want by saying to you he has this or that but that doesnt make it so. what I can tell you is that maybe because he spent all that money you posted about that he didnt have the money to pay for his cell phone. the fact that he said to you he needs time alone says to me that he does not want any contact from you so he is protecting himself from your urges to do so. (for example you wouldnt know he blocked you on facebook or that he blocked his cell phone from you if you hadnt tried to contact him when someone is blocked they dont get a notice saying dont contact this person because they blocked you , only after contact does the one forbidden contact recieves the message that their contact could not go through because they were blocked)

my suggestion is to leave him alone, he said he wanted time to be alone so its time to respect his wishes to have no contact from you.

I only tried contacting him on the first day he left, when I didn't know that anything was wrong with him and thought this was a regular break up. I mean.. he has no history of mental health issues, and showed no signs of frustration, so obviously I was so confused and shocked and proceeded to contact him.

He is poor and his family would rather have him dead and send him to a mental health professional. I could help but he's gone, so I don't know how to help him at all.

[aarya10]

His parents are extremely abusive and if he's struggling with mental health problems, going back there isn't going to help him. so I will leave him alone but I'm scared for him.

[-jimi-]

Not sure if you are teens or adults, if adults you might have a bit more options.

It must be scary not knowing what is happening to him. What caused his reaction we can't know of course, could be quickly oncoming depression, a psychotic break, something that physically happened inside his head, some accident or abuse he just had to endure, a trigger that caused memory of past trauma pop up etc. What I mean is "something" happened... and it must be extra scary not even knowing what it IS...

Because of this you don't know how you could even help. It's too bad he didn't tell you, but I guess he might be too depressed or too afraid...

I understand that you don't have many real options to get through to him because of his parents. But if it was me I would try to get one single message across like "You can talk to me if you want to, I AM here if you need me, I will not intrude anymore but please know I am your friend".

Man I'd go tape that on his window. Just letting things be is the hardest of them all, not something I am good at.

I hope this passes and that he comes out and that he reconnects with you.

[LiteraryLark]

Call a welfare check on him. The police will come and speak with him and escort him to the psychiatric facilities or urgent care if need be. I've done it to three of my friends who were suicidal.