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#1
Dec 12, 2016, 04:42 PM
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I have next to no sexual desire, and I hate it. I don't consider myself asexual because I like men, and could see myself enjoying moments of intimacy with someone and having a strong emotional partnership with them, but even if I was with the hottest guy in the world and I loved him, I still would never want to have sex with him. I know I'm afraid of intimacy and very insecure about myself, but I'm not sure if this lack of sexual desire comes from that/childhood experiences or if it's a physical/chemical abnormality. Is it possible that I just don't have the right chemicals/nerve endings down there to enjoy sex? I've had sex before and was in a relationship for a long time with someone, but I never once enjoyed the sex. I would always just hope for it to be over as fast as possible. I rarely enjoyed any form of intimacy with him. I think it was a combination of not being sexually attracted to this particular person and me being very insecure about parts of my body. (I'm terrified of anyone seeing my vagina lol)
In terms of childhood experiences, I was never abused in any way, but discussing sex/intimacy was always a taboo in my family. I thought of it as only something people did in the movies, and not in real life. I just wasn't well socialized in the world of romance and tried to avoid it at all costs. I would turn down any guy that ever asked me out, because I had no desire to engage intimately with them. I would always rather be alone, it was easier. I'm not sure if I'm just really picky about who I find attractive and I just need to wait until I find someone who I'm mentally and physically attracted to and the rest will come naturally, or if I really just have no sexual desire and minimal desire for intimacy. I really do want to find love and get married, but I'm afraid I'll never let myself find that or that I'll struggle with the intimacy/sexual aspect my whole life and just be a horrible wife/girlfriend. Please help/share similar feelings! |
 MickeyCheeky
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#2
Dec 13, 2016, 07:49 AM
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Medication has negatively affected my own drive.
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#3
Dec 13, 2016, 11:41 AM
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I got off Effexor. Bingo sex drive restored.
__________________
 Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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#4
Dec 13, 2016, 12:05 PM
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Are you taking meds? Are you depressed? I've heard that these things can reduce your sexual desire..
Big hugs 
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#5
Dec 14, 2016, 10:26 PM
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Quote:
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#6
Dec 15, 2016, 10:14 AM
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I knew a girl in college who had no interest in sex until she met a man she wanted to have sex with. So it does happen that people go from not interested to being interested and enjoying sex.
As for your body insecurity, you have a body and I assume it has all the normal parts in working order. I have insecurity about my body and it took me a long time to be comfortable to let anybody see me naked. It took me a long time to realize that truly caring partners don't care what your parts look like, they care that they are yours. Bodies come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. They are all beautiful. Do you have a therapist or counselor you could discuss these issues with? I know that will take a big leap of trust in person. As for being with the hottest guy in the world, I would find being with the hottest woman in the world to be terrifying and intimidating! I would rather have an average looking partner I can be comfortable with. Please, when you find a partner take things slowly and explore your comfort levels. Open and honest communication will help. I'm wishing you the best, and hope you find self-acceptance and a sattisfying relationship since that is what you want. |
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#7
Dec 15, 2016, 09:19 PM
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Different people have different levels of sexual desire and that is normal. Mine is pretty low becuase of meds. It's possible that you just haven't met the man that turns you on yet. Being shy about your private parts happens frequently especially in families where sex is never discussed. If it continues to bother you, maybe a few visits with a therapist might be of use to you.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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#8
Dec 16, 2016, 02:09 AM
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Weird thing is im on both EFEXOR-XR 150mg and Olanzapine 5mg and im constantly horny to the point i have to masturbate twice a day since i dont have a girlfriend
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#9
Dec 16, 2016, 02:15 PM
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I can't diagnose you but some people are asexual. I don't know if you have read about this, but here is a link which explains a bit more:
What Is Asexuality :: What Is Asexuality? |
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