Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 02:22 AM
RoseTiger's Avatar
RoseTiger RoseTiger is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: US
Posts: 52
I don't know where else to put this, I feel like it doesn't fit anywhere, but I need an answer.

I'm going to turn 20 in less then a month. I hate getting older. It depresses me. I wouldn't mind so bad if I could still be myself, and that's the problem. I'm not sure if I can. I dress in mostly black. Tall black boots, black leather jacket, black skinny jeans, black graphic t-shirt, black eyeliner. You get the idea. I never considered myself "emo" before. I rarely ever even thought the word. But recently it was brought to my attention just how much I fit the stereotype. From my taste in music, right down to my self harm and over sensitivity.

I love the way I dress. I picked my clothes, one piece at a time. Never trying for a "look" but buying what I liked. But now that I realize that I'm actually the definition of emo, I feel like I have to stop. People tell me I'm thin, and look younger then I am, so that helps, but do I have to change myself since I'm almost 20? Or is it okay to be an "emo" adult?
Hugs from:
candyrainbowstars, Ember_42, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896

advertisement
  #2  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 04:04 AM
Kuras's Avatar
Kuras Kuras is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 176
The nice thing about getting older is that labels and niches cease to be important or anything of real concern. Each of us eventually develop our own image and concept. As an adult, you simply become you. Anything beyond that isn't important. So if you like wearing black clothes/eyeliner and listening to emo music, then knock yourself out. If you can live your life and be ok, that's all that matters. Welcome to adulthood.

Self-harm obviously presents an issue though. I imagine/hope you're seeking help for that aspect of things.
__________________
Bipolar-type Schizoaffective
  #3  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 04:06 AM
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
Be free to dress and listen to what you want - as long as it doesn't hurt people, you're free to do whatever you want with your life
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*
  #4  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 06:32 AM
MtnTime2896's Avatar
MtnTime2896 MtnTime2896 is offline
Chat Moderator
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Doing donuts in the parking lot
Posts: 4,282
I think everyone here's going to tell you you're fine to dress as you wish. I'm one of them. I'm also going to add that even if someone here says it's not okay, who gives a ****. The only opinion that actually matters is yours. Who cares about what other people think? No one has to be around you or associate with you. In the end, you're the only one that can't leave yourself. So, do what makes you happy. I'm not too much older than you, only a bit over a year I think. To be honest, no one our age cares about labels anymore. Everyone's just trying to keep their head above water. When it comes to self harm, I won't judge you there. I'd be a hypocrite to tell you not to because I've done it very recently myself. Adults do it, too, it's just better hidden as we age. I do hope you're working on your core problem that centers the habit, though.
Best of luck.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity."
Hugs from:
RoseTiger
Thanks for this!
RoseTiger
  #5  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 07:45 AM
venusss's Avatar
venusss venusss is offline
Maidan Chick
 
Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: On the faultlines of the hybrid war
Posts: 7,139
Lol, where do you live that people are considered "old" at 20 and should ditch any personal style of clothing?

20 is YOUNG and black is color that you can wear at any age... there are alternative dressing people who are way older than you.
__________________
Glory to heroes!

HATEFREE CULTURE

  #6  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 07:52 AM
flizzy04 flizzy04 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: NJ
Posts: 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
Be free to dress and listen to what you want - as long as it doesn't hurt people, you're free to do whatever you want with your life
great advice
  #7  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 04:57 PM
RoseTiger's Avatar
RoseTiger RoseTiger is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: US
Posts: 52
Thanks to everyone for replying. You all make very good points. I guess I just worry to much. My parents are very judgmental people, and I see them nitpicking complete strangers for every little thing. I get nervous. Like as an adult you're supposed to lose your individuality and become just like everyone else. My fear is not being able to get a job because my parents told me no one will take me seriously and think I'm trouble.
Hugs from:
MtnTime2896
  #8  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 04:58 PM
RoseTiger's Avatar
RoseTiger RoseTiger is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: US
Posts: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas View Post
I think everyone here's going to tell you you're fine to dress as you wish. I'm one of them. I'm also going to add that even if someone here says it's not okay, who gives a ****. The only opinion that actually matters is yours. Who cares about what other people think? No one has to be around you or associate with you. In the end, you're the only one that can't leave yourself. So, do what makes you happy. I'm not too much older than you, only a bit over a year I think. To be honest, no one our age cares about labels anymore. Everyone's just trying to keep their head above water. When it comes to self harm, I won't judge you there. I'd be a hypocrite to tell you not to because I've done it very recently myself. Adults do it, too, it's just better hidden as we age. I do hope you're working on your core problem that centers the habit, though.
Best of luck.
Thanks for the advice, but I just have to say, I love your signature! Twenty One Pilots is awesome and 'Fake You Out' is one of my favorite songs!
Hugs from:
MtnTime2896
Thanks for this!
MtnTime2896
  #9  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 05:03 PM
venusss's Avatar
venusss venusss is offline
Maidan Chick
 
Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: On the faultlines of the hybrid war
Posts: 7,139
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseTiger View Post
Like as an adult you're supposed to lose your individuality and become just like everyone else. My fear is not being able to get a job because my parents told me no one will take me seriously and think I'm trouble.
Says who?

You can always tone down your image for job (nobody is gonna have problem with black hair... you can use clip ins to add color for afterwork) and go wild for weekends and holidays. And the general advice is: bland yourself for day one and start adding more and more personality gradually... in few months everybody will think you always looked like that
__________________
Glory to heroes!

HATEFREE CULTURE

  #10  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 08:16 PM
MtnTime2896's Avatar
MtnTime2896 MtnTime2896 is offline
Chat Moderator
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Doing donuts in the parking lot
Posts: 4,282
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseTiger View Post
Thanks for the advice, but I just have to say, I love your signature! Twenty One Pilots is awesome and 'Fake You Out' is one of my favorite songs!
It's a very good song from a really good band.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity."
  #11  
Old Dec 30, 2016, 09:51 PM
Ember_42's Avatar
Ember_42 Ember_42 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 92
You will likely have to change your look for work but outside of that be yourself always. I'm twice your age and still happiest with an androgynous, kind of goth/punk look. I do get weird looks now and then which play into my self esteem and paranoia issues but then at least I can tell myself that they are being judgmental about my style (superficial things) rather than about me as a person or how obvious I feel that my mental and emotional problems must be.

I've spent so much time trying to be what I was expected to be (by a judgmental family as well as general culture) and made myself miserable until I felt like I didn't know who I was or that I barely existed as an individual anymore. Now I'm back to trying to be myself regardless of what others think. Don't do what I did and don't compromise who you are and what you enjoy for what you think the world expects of you!

Self harm is another issue and that needs to be addressed separately. I've been there too and the impulse hasn't gone away, I'm just able to cope without it better now. Take care of yourself and be safe.
Reply
Views: 1415

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:15 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.