Other ways to repay someone for favors

Ever ask someone to do a favor for you, and they do it but after a few times, they start getting annoyed? And when you offer to repay, like using money, they decline? I've had this happen. It is really obvious when someone is getting annoyed even if they say they are okay with doing a favor. The only thing I don't understand is why they decline repayments. Like, most people would gladly accept money, but every so often someone will decline.

I don't know why. Anyone know why? And also if they decline, other than not asking for favors for awhile from that person, is there any other way to repay or is it just best to simply not ask for awhile? I don't know why someone would decline, especially if they were starting to become annoyed. I thought them showing signs of annoyance would actually make them want to accept repayment. Actions speak louder than words so I can usually tell if someone is annoyed even if they say they are perfectly fine. Any suggestions? Or just let it be? Just curious.

It happens a lot, yeah.. not sure why, I guess it's just the way it is.

Anyway, if they decline, you can't do much more than that.. you've offered to repay the favor, and that's all that counts.

I think a "favor" is a one-time thing and like a gift. The definition says, "an act of kindness beyond what is due or usual." So, if one keeps asking for the same favor from the same person, it is like using the person and offering to pay is like the person is for hire? But the person didn't sign up for that originally, just the one-time extra as a "favor" because they like you or are just a "nice" person?

If you need something repeatedly, like a ride somewhere, I would hire someone or ask upfront, first time if you can pay someone to take you "every Tuesday at 4:00"; lay out that it is not just a one-time thing so they can decide if they want to take it on. What the favor is, too, can make a difference. If it's not something the person is interested in (I have a man who always wants rides to the liquor store to get his lottery ticket and I don't go to that liquor store (he has a specific one, has an unusual brand of drink he likes) or buy lottery tickets, think they are a waste of money) or out of their way (either literally or not where/when they usually go) then I would try to find some other way to get what you want if the person isn't interested.

A lot of people aren't motivated by money, especially the little bit one might get doing a chore for another, driving them somewhere or dropping off/picking something up for them occasionally, they'd rather have their time to themselves to direct instead of feeling tethered to what someone else wants/needs. But a thought there might be; do you have a solid relationship with the person other than asking for favors? If that is the only shared thing, that would make a difference too, I'd think. If you an find someone who you enjoy being with and who enjoys being with you, where there's a real friendship, I think there will be less resentment in helping you.

Well the first thing to do is to acknowledge and value their assistance. Money isn't neccessarily the best way to do this; infact, it might even do the opposite. Hard to explain. It likely has something to do with the need for that acknowledgment to be thoughtful Other methods of acknowledgement could be more appropriate - and go far further than the perfuntionary act of a monetary transaction.

I try to repay people for their actions and support in more personal ways - ways that come from my heart and ways that show I have been thoughtful. I consider myself a good cook and I am fairly creative. I will entertain those whom have helped me with the kindess of a dinner. I will offer too on occaasion the gift of a piece of art.

I just know how I feel being on the other end. I have a friend who asks tons of favors. At the beginning I made it quite clear I actually do expect something back. If I do her favors, she will do me favors. She said she was OK with that. Now I know this situation differs from the OP, in this case she had me do maybe 100 favors for her. She always said she will do something back. I finally ask for 2 favors, she says no to both. Then she said fine she will pay me 10 dollars for all my work.

I wasn't bothered with the ridiculously small amount at first, but that she wanted to buy her way out of the deal. Mostly this deal is not outspoken like ours was, but it is there nevertheless. Money doesn't make up for effort and time, because a favor is not work.

She knows I get "annoyed" now because I refuse to help. But she still thinks I am unfair and asks some more. I don't need exact fairness but 100 to 0 is just too off according to my rules.

The people taking money for favors are those in need of money, then they can set social norms aside. But if they already have money, offering money will actually not help them in any way.

And in my friend's case, I think she is totally unaware if she had hired someone for what I did, she would have paid about 2,500 dollars. But for some reason, people usually pay friends less than they would strangers....

Living alone & having only one vehicle, when it's in for repair I have been desperate for a vehicle. My friends have several vehicles....but in return for all they do for me, I am always available to care for their animals (at no cost to them ) in return. It's no where equal in value for the help they have given to me but it's my wat of returning at least a favor for a favor.

There is always something we can find to do for someone especially if we need to ask for a favor more than once. However if it's a continuous situation then it's no longer considered a favor but a task that you are wanting them to do....big difference

Makes sense. Maybe I'll repay in a different way other than money then. I just simply thought money was the way to go because most people, in the past and present, are more than happy to accept money when I offer it to them as a repayment. So that's why I thought that is the best way to go. In this particular scenario, it is a coworker taking me to work. We live less than a minute from each other and I am on her way to work. It is only a once a week thing, we both go to a early morning event which takes place right before her shift starts. She invited me to the event so that's why I started tagging along. I just sometimes worry that she will eventually get tired of taking me even though she offers and I don't want her to mistakenly think I am using her. I would never want to purposely do that to someone.

rdgrad15 - What if you were to ask this friend what you can do to repay her generosity.

Yeah I'll try to do that. See what happens.

If they don't seem to want anything, one can just assume they rather not do favors not even for receiving them.

So in other words, they rather not continue to do favors and are trying to stop? Just want to make sure I understood correctly. In that case, I agree.