[aarya10]

She's my best friend and long story short, her behavior has cost her to lose every single one of her friends. She only has me and her family. I don't know why I haven't run away yet, I guess I do care about her but she makes me so, so angry and hurt, sometimes I wish I didn't care.

From her behavior in the past few years, I really think she's got some sort of cluster-B personality disorder, perhaps BPD. I don't know though. She once said that people who go for therapy aren't "strong", and that she'd never go for therapy. That was right after I told her that I was seeing a therapist. I don't know why I didn't defend myself at that time.

She makes use of me. The only reason she hasn't been kicked out of school is because I help her with her exams and assignments. She's never been grateful for it.

She's obsessed with men. Every man she dates, she falls in love and wants to marry them within a week. She can't handle a life without drama. She talks cr*p about my other best friends, I think she's jealous.

She used to emotionally abuse her ex. She'd threaten to cut/kill herself if he left. She screamed at him if he spoke of other women. I don't know what else happened behind closed doors, but from what I know, he wasn't even allowed to make eye-contact with other girls.

She's so so selfish, and shows off her stuff to me, knowing I can't have anything she does. She's VERY rich, her parents love her. She knows I'm not rich and my parents are abusive, she doesn't care.

For example (I don't want to give a real example, I don't wanna reveal who she really is), she'd complain about how she got a Mercedes instead of the Porshe she really wanted, indirectly wanting pity from me, while knowing that my family had to sell off our cars because we needed to pay for our rent.

I can't tell her anything because she's so scary. I can't cut her off because her parents know me very well, we're extremely close, it won't be easy. I don't know what to do, I'm so stressed out.

[MickeyCheeky]

That sounds horrible. If you have already suggested her to see a T, and she rejected, then.. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's healthy for you to stay with her. Get away from her; she clearly doesn't deserve your friendship.

[Misssy2]

I think you really do have to stand up for yourself.

When she says things like she should have gotten a Porshe vs. a Mercedes..you should reply with "listen chic, your lucky to drive a luxurious car while my family sells cars to pay rent". Your really complaining about that stuff to me?

And the next boyfriend she meets that she wants to marry I would point out to her that she is very easily wanting to marry every guy she meets...and give her examples.

Stop taking this crap..come back with your replies and maybe she will "cut you" out of her life and that would be a blessing for you.

She tells you how SHE feels. Its time for you to tell her how YOU feel.

[aarya10]

Thank you, guys. I know she's no good for me, but it's going to be really hard to drop her right now because of how close we are, her mental state and how we've got several projects to complete together (which I bet, she's going to make me do).

She was once angry at her childhood best friend for some silly reason, and decided it would be right to tell me about her childhood bf's trauma. And the only reason she did it was to compare it with her own issues and rant about how she's had it worse than her best friend. I don't know why I allowed her to do that, actually. It was wrong of me. I should have spoken up then itself. I don't know why I'm so afraid of people and speaking up.

You guys are right, it's time to tell her how I feel. I can't handle this anymore. But I also know she's going to move on really quickly and hurt someone else, and I don't want that to happen. Ahh.

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by aarya10

Thank you, guys. I know she's no good for me, but it's going to be really hard to drop her right now because of how close we are, her mental state and how we've got several projects to complete together (which I bet, she's going to make me do).

She was once angry at her childhood best friend for some silly reason, and decided it would be right to tell me about her childhood bf's trauma. And the only reason she did it was to compare it with her own issues and rant about how she's had it worse than her best friend. I don't know why I allowed her to do that, actually. It was wrong of me. I should have spoken up then itself. I don't know why I'm so afraid of people and speaking up.

You guys are right, it's time to tell her how I feel. I can't handle this anymore. But I also know she's going to move on really quickly and hurt someone else, and I don't want that to happen. Ahh.

You can't control who else she hurts. You can only control how much you have to say about how she is hurting you. Its just normal human behavior to be offended when someone is offending you. She may not realize what she is doing to you, there are ways you can tell her without ending the friendship.

If she then choses to end the friendship because she doesn't like what she hears...than that is her problem to deal with...you have been a good friend and don't deserve to be treated like she is treating you.

Please stand up for your feelings.

I think too it is time to put some distance between you and her.

When she does these things - for example rubbing your nose in the 'car' analogy - what is your response? Do you feel that you can speak up?

If not, do you think maybe she clings to you because you aren't confrontational? Is it perhaps the case she is taking advantage of your kind nature? You are worth more than this.

As suggested, the answer may be to simply turn your back and move forward in your own direction.

I have a friend just recently diagnosed with BPD. Ironically, I knew this was so years ago. She has a difficult history with people and work owing to her unstable personality. There are things though I really like about her. But, during all that time I realized I had to remain at arms length. This was before my own BP diagnosis. I just knew that allowing myself to get closer was a risk to my emotional health. There is now a great distance between us that means we might visit once or twice per year. Honestly I am sure this is the only reason our acquaintanceship still exists. I witness her meltdowns from afar and have the benefit of choosing when and how to respond. I sense though she is clinging on to our friendship as possibly the only one she still has.