[hammerklavier]

I was a very musically sensitive person and it was a huge part of my life prior to my hospitalization back in October. I was put on Risperidone and Lithium then, and it's more or less been like this ever since, though my dose is much lower than it was. Since I have been tapering, I've noticed some emotions coming back, but music still sounds flat to my ears. My thoughts are also limited in scope and I'm not creative; often I'm preoccupied with a repeating negative loop about how I wish my mental state was better. It's a form of depression that may not be linked to the meds, but having gone four months without being able to feel much to a Mahler symphony or Bach Concerto really bothers me.

I don't currently work, though I started taking a math class at a community college. The lack of activity may be a part of this, but I think that maybe I'm a little trapped in fear from the event of my mental breakdown. And it also may just be a reaction to the meds. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

[eyesclosed]

Yes but not with music I play the guitar as a tool to have to focus on something else it's very easy to say I don't feel like playing. I lost complete interest in TV and watching sports or even a movie I don't even have one. Just have no interest. I hope you get it back and keep trying music is very good.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you feel this way.. I can relate, I have absolutely no interests and that's killing me.

[hammerklavier]

I don't know what's worse(or better). The possibility that the medication has caused this, or that it's just something that is afflicting me naturally. Probably it's a little of both. In the case of the medication, the solution is lowering it provided I don't relapse. In the other case, hopefully time heals all wounds?

[eskielover]

When my depression was bad, it was difficult for me to practice my flute & play in the chamber groups I was involved in....difficult to perform Bach, my favorite music period.

It was also difficult for me to ride my horse & practice dressage with him. How sad that was because all my life what i wanted most was a horse to ride & take care of & bond with.

Depression itself even without meds can cause this to happen. I had such bad side effects to every med, it turned out that I had to avoid meds completely...so in my case, it was the depression

[hammerklavier]

Well, I seem to be stuck this way. It's so weird. No music moves me, it just exists. Maybe I have untreated depression, maybe its the negative symptoms of schizoaffective disorder. I really want to be inspired by music, by beauty, and be able to react to novel experiences.

[*Laurie*]

Ohhhh...I so understand. When I was younger and hypo-manic music, art, every little color or sound...it was all like a magic kingdom. Now, after all the meds and probably from aging things tend to be...meh. It's heartbreaking, frankly.

[Have Faith]

I've heard of people with depression finding a passion that saved them...I wish it would happen to me...

[VanGore28]

I'm schizoaffective and I only started to experience that complete loss of interest in arts three years ago. Movies had stopped encapsulating me when I first got ill ten years ago but books still moved me as they involved more applying of oneself, more intense concentration plus I was on a mission at the same time to write my own book. You could try and write your own story??

Back to music. You maybe need to look for a new genre. I never ever thought I would get into heavy metal but here I am an avid follower of the metalcore genre. Its so fast paced and rich in lyrical content. Try music that has lyrics??

I just don't think I've ever heard music like other people do. Some of it - country music in particular - repulses me. I just don't hear lyrics. It is a long jumble of inarticulate mumbling to me. I find it difficult just following the tune. It has always been this way.

But...

There are other forms of creativity that seem to have been deadened. My ability to create has been significantly altered. I don't have the enjoyment in the visual arts I once did. Theatre, galleries, museums all things once visually pleasing to me seem no longer to have any interest that stands out. And yes, even TV watching holds no interest for me.