[rdgrad15]

Not too long ago, I was with someone who claimed to have an image to maintain. After hearing this, it made me wonder if this is a sign of fake behavior, like not being herself. I feel like people who are themselves and are not fake don't have an image to maintain, but this one person I was with said she does. In my opinion, announcing this not only makes her look fake, it basically hinders her ability to be liked by others.

I told her she shouldn't do that. Shouldn't have to maintain an image. Do you think this is considered flaky? I feel like it is since the person is not being his or herself. And this goes for anyone. I feel like telling other people that they have an image to maintain comes off as fake and makes you look bad. And part of the reason she said it is to avoid judgements and wants to be accepted. Do you think it is counterproductive? I feel like it is since it would actually cause people to judge her and not accept her.

It sounds like they are quite arrogant too.

[Trippin2.0]

It doesn't necessarily have to mean the person is fake or inauthentic.

Could be that she has set a standard for herself and prefers to live up to that standard...

Besides we all have an image, whatever we allow the outside world to see, how strict we are on maintaining that image varies from person to person.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

It sounds like they are quite arrogant too.

Never thought of that but I agree. Even stuck up.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

It doesn't necessarily have to mean the person is fake or inauthentic.

Could be that she has set a standard for herself and prefers to live up to that standard...

Besides we all have an image, whatever we allow the outside world to see, how strict we are on maintaining that image varies from person to person.

If she isn't being fake then yeah, she is being hard on herself and may even be trying too hard to fit in. Because I've seen it backfire on her.

I wouldn't tell anyone in real life about my weaknesses as I do here because I want to keep an image (I find it hard to post here, too, because I want to keep this image that I'm not weak and not a failure even in the eyes of anonymous strangers, but I let it go because I'm already known to be weak and a failure). If I did, I would lose my image and probably their respect to me. Like it or not, people deal with your image in their heads, not with the real you. We all hide the negative side and put a mask. In that sense no one is actually completely authentic and genuine.

[Trippin2.0]

Thank you Mr Stranger for saying so eloquently what I failed to communicate.

If I understand the likely context of the manner in which the OP described being told this I think this was very rude if not even stuck up. I sure would be hurt if someone told me that - especially if they were giving me the brush off.

That said, several other posters pointed out that we all to a degree have images we wish to uphold in public. I agree. But I sense from the OP that the scenario of 'image' was not about wearing a more confident persona, etc. I just assumed they were encountering someone extremely shallow and fake.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

If I understand the likely context of the manner in which the OP described being told this I think this was very rude if not even stuck up. I sure would be hurt if someone told me that - especially if they were giving me the brush off.

That said, several other posters pointed out that we all to a degree have images we wish to uphold in public. I agree. But I sense from the OP that the scenario of 'image' was not about wearing a more confident persona, etc. I just assumed they were encountering someone extremely shallow and fake.

Yes this is the case in the scenario I gave. Although yes the other posters have a point and to a degree are right, I feel like the person I was with was being more shallow and fake. Yes her reasons for doing so were probably to prevent judgements and be accepted, but in the long run it backfired.

[ReptileInYourHead]

There is a lack of context rd, arrogant and stuck up is a harsh extrapolation and may have more to do with how one personally feels about 'fake' people.
Could you go into more detail about the event and the circumstances around it?

[Trippin2.0]

Yeah, without any context on the convo, all I have to go on is my opinions and perceptions.

[amandalouise]

no I dont find it to be faking, rude or otherwise offensive. line in the sand ....everyone....has an "image" that they need to maintain... (some locations call this having a reputation)

example

a parent wants to have the kind of reputation of being a good parent.
a doctor wants to have the reputation for healing their patients and teaching through being a role model for their clients
a teacher wants to go into the classroom knowing the material that they are teaching so that their students can trust and knows they can learn from the teacher....

even tee agers have their own image of their self they want to have for their self and those around them.

my point every human being sets who and what they are based on what image they want to show the world and when something goes against that image that they want to maintain for their self its normal for someone to say no I wont do that, I have an image to maintain. here where I am its normal and part of pre- school, elementary, jr high and high school to address issues like self image/ reputation and how to maintain that in all kinds of situations and that just like saying no is acceptable saying I have an image to maintain is normal/ ok and acceptable.

[Unrigged64072835]

Yes, people sometimes use arrogance as a coverup for insecurities. It usually doesn't work, because instead of being vulnerable (and dealing with the rejection) it just turns people off.

[5435lonely]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Not too long ago, I was with someone who claimed to have an image to maintain. After hearing this, it made me wonder if this is a sign of fake behavior, like not being herself. I feel like people who are themselves and are not fake don't have an image to maintain, but this one person I was with said she does. In my opinion, announcing this not only makes her look fake, it basically hinders her ability to be liked by others.

I told her she shouldn't do that. Shouldn't have to maintain an image. Do you think this is considered flaky? I feel like it is since the person is not being his or herself. And this goes for anyone. I feel like telling other people that they have an image to maintain comes off as fake and makes you look bad. And part of the reason she said it is to avoid judgements and wants to be accepted. Do you think it is counterproductive? I feel like it is since it would actually cause people to judge her and not accept her.

Watch a few episodes of "Keeping Up Appearances" at wqed.org Your friend sounds like "Hyacinth".