[Cabb88]

I was sent to have CBT with a Wellbeing Practioner to treat depression and have so far had 3 half hour sessions in 3 months.
My sessions so far haven’t been very productive, admittedly this is mainly my fault, I have always really struggled to talk about my feelings with anybody. I just can’t seem to articulate what my problem is or what I could do to change because whenever I try to think about it I get really flustered and just end up in tears. Unfortunately, I think this has left her with the impression that perhaps I don’t want to try which really couldn’t be further from the truth.
Towards the end of my last session she asked me if I felt like I needed to continue, this surprised me because I don’t feel like I have made any progress at all. We have had a few conversations over the phone since and I have said that I wanted to continue but she has said that it is difficult for her as I haven’t given her “anything to work with” She wants me to make specific goals but the trouble is I don’t know why I am behaving like this, I don’t know what I can change to make me feel normal again.
She keeps suggesting maybe I am not ready for therapy and that I am doing it to please other people, which isn’t true. I have been struggling with this for some years, I haven’t been able to work consistently and I have lost some close friends. I have tried so so hard to dig myself out of this alone and just end up going round in circles. Every time I try to face even a small task I become really overwhelmed, anxious and scared about the future. I’m scared that if I do what she suggests and stop going that I will be all alone again, I can’t do that anymore.
I should say she is a lovely person and has been very patient, however I was so embarrassed in the first place about asking for help and now I have been left feeling like she wants to shake me off, that I am being difficult by insisting on more time and that maybe other people need it more.

Has anybody else had the same difficulty with CBT, could anybody give me any advice on how to make goals? (sounds so simple, I know) I would find any advice so helpful.
Also I would appreciate any advice on what to say to my Wellbeing Practioner, she is phoning again in a few days and I don’t want to agree to something I don’t want to do just because I feel uncomfortable about asking for more.
Thanks so much

Firstly, the frequency and duration of your sessions is a red flag for me. My understanding of the program is that the therapy is designed for 12 weekly sessions over a period of roughly 3mos/90dys.

Don't beat yourself up!

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is not for everyone. Not every individual is ready for it. Not every individual is a homework sort of person. You need to be ready. You need to want and be prepared to do the work. And hard work it is. Perhaps CBT might be right for you however in the long run. The first sessions are in fact the most difficult. Learning to challenge our negative thinking patters is hard.

My advice is to try and stick with it for a few more sessions. You may find that once you get over the initial hump it gets easier. You may find too this isn't the case. You will have at least taken a run at it.

[crimsoncat]

I think that you have explained very well in your post so clearly like me you find it easier to write it than to try and say it so I would advise you to read some of this post to her when she phones you and maybe she will have a better understanding of how difficult you are finding it ,I tried cbt many years ago and found it hard and the therapist thought I was not engaged until I managed to find the words to explain how hard it was for me i stuck with it and it was somewhat helpful,good luck ,keep us posted

Try these
https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm
IAPT workbooks and resources - Clinical Education Development and Research - University of Exeter
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Resources And Worksheets | Psychology Tools

[Nammu]

I second what Crimson cat said.