[exsersizeallthetime]

Hi,

My wife and I have seen a couples therapist for a couple of months now and while we have made a little bit of progress I am finding an issue with our therapists style. He seems rather detached and does not really ask many questions and lets us ramble on and on about our issues, but does not seem to be solving them. I seem like we are repeating ourselves every session

1) Is this the normal way couples therapy works?
2) After how long do you think we should wait before we change therapists? I am legitimately trying to get this to process to work but I leave the therapists office more and more confused every time I go.

[Skeezyks]

Hello exsersizeallthetime: Well... I don't have much experience with couples counseling. I have seen a few different therapists over the years. They ranged from mediocre to dreadful! I don't know... you wrote you've been seeing this therapist for a couple of months now. However you didn't mention how many sessions that includes. Every therapist has her / his own way of working. And not every therapist works well with every client. Sometimes it can take a few tries to find a T that you feel comfortable with.

My personal opinion would be that after 2 months, if I was feeling the way you're feeling, I'd be looking around. You didn't mention how your wife feels about this T. Have the two of you discussed it?

One approach would be to actually talk with your T, during an upcoming session, about how you're feeling. Assuming that the T you're seeing is an experienced professional, he'll understand your concerns & will be able to discuss your options objectively. At least that's the way it should work. And if it turns out he's not objectively professional & becomes defensive then at least you know what you're dealing with. And at that point you & your wife can try another therapist, assuming the two of you agree, of course.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!