[Aloe]

Hello. I've been going through an episode of major depression for around two months now, with intermittent feelings of "hyperness" and unusually happy mood. (mostly i have experienced symptoms of depression although with a week long bout of elevated mood) i wouldn't call it "mania" as such perhaps hypomania. For this reason i am planning on bringing up the possibility of bi polar disorder with my doctor who i' seeing on friday. I have experienced hypomania a few times before since the age of about 15 (i am 29 now) the diagnoses i got at 18 was "major depressive disorder" and "generalised anxiety disorder" I have been taking 150mg of clomipramine every night for around 10 years.

I have become very suspicious and scared of people. I have been off work for around a month,while i was still there i became unable to make eye contact with customers and co workers. Generally i get on quite well with co workers but it started to feel like they were talking and laughing at me or trying to purposely ignore me and alienate me. I started to feel very ugly , infact i thought i was the most hideous person alive, that i made people feel sick when they saw me. I was convinced people were excluding me because i was so ugly, they all hated me. Although it feels very real to me, I was told that the thoughts i was getting are irrational.

That's a little backround info, The symptoms im getting with the depression are low mood, bouts of anger, difficulty concentrating etc. I think i may be hallucinating too. I have felt someone touching me when i'm alone in my room. not like a mouse but like its a finger or hand. I occasionally will hear my name being whispered, not in my ear but like the voice is coming from the other side of the room. The scariest one was, that i walked head on into traffic because i thought i saw the green man. The car screeched to a hault and the driver honked the horn, looking angry. I just pointed at the green man, convinced he was at fault. When i looked again, i saw it was red. I felt like the change was too quick for it to be real. I'm still not sure what really happened that day. Do these sound like hallucinations? I have never had them before, but this episode of depression is by far one of the worst i've had before.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Does it sound like bi polar disorder or major depressive disorder with pycotic features? Or are these just normal thoughts of someone with major depressive disorder?

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Aloe, and welcome to Psych Central! It's hard to say what might be going on with you. Bipolars can also have psychotic episodes. Your best bet, as you say, is to tell your doctor about it.

Regardless, we'll have a forum for you!

[InTheShadows]

Hi Aloe,

I have been previously diagnosed with over 20 mental illnesses and prescribed over the course of seeking treatment over 50 different medications. The final psychiatrist I had boiled it down to two. He told me that major depressive disorder in its most severe form can display as ANY mental illness. Hence why I've been diagnosed with so many.

After my divorce I moved to a cabin in the woods that had glass panels on the door. Every night I would hallucinate a break-in. It felt very real. I could feel the dogs breath on my face, the weight on the bed. The only way I knew it wasn't real was when I woke up in the morning and the glass was still intact. It is very scary and I'm sorry you're experiencing that now.

I think it's a good thing you are tracking mood/symptoms. That is really good! If it is more than depression, your psychiatrist should be able to see that and help.

Let us know how it goes.

Hugs,
Shady

Originally Posted by Aloe

Hello. I've been going through an episode of major depression for around two months now, with intermittent feelings of "hyperness" and unusually happy mood. (mostly i have experienced symptoms of depression although with a week long bout of elevated mood) i wouldn't call it "mania" as such perhaps hypomania. For this reason i am planning on bringing up the possibility of bi polar disorder with my doctor who i' seeing on friday. I have experienced hypomania a few times before since the age of about 15 (i am 29 now) the diagnoses i got at 18 was "major depressive disorder" and "generalised anxiety disorder" I have been taking 150mg of clomipramine every night for around 10 years.

I have become very suspicious and scared of people. I have been off work for around a month,while i was still there i became unable to make eye contact with customers and co workers. Generally i get on quite well with co workers but it started to feel like they were talking and laughing at me or trying to purposely ignore me and alienate me. I started to feel very ugly , infact i thought i was the most hideous person alive, that i made people feel sick when they saw me. I was convinced people were excluding me because i was so ugly, they all hated me. Although it feels very real to me, I was told that the thoughts i was getting are irrational.

That's a little backround info, The symptoms im getting with the depression are low mood, bouts of anger, difficulty concentrating etc. I think i may be hallucinating too. I have felt someone touching me when i'm alone in my room. not like a mouse but like its a finger or hand. I occasionally will hear my name being whispered, not in my ear but like the voice is coming from the other side of the room. The scariest one was, that i walked head on into traffic because i thought i saw the green man. The car screeched to a hault and the driver honked the horn, looking angry. I just pointed at the green man, convinced he was at fault. When i looked again, i saw it was red. I felt like the change was too quick for it to be real. I'm still not sure what really happened that day. Do these sound like hallucinations? I have never had them before, but this episode of depression is by far one of the worst i've had before.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Does it sound like bi polar disorder or major depressive disorder with pycotic features? Or are these just normal thoughts of someone with major depressive disorder?