[aaronhere]

I'm 16 years old and I'd like to think I'm a smart and responsible kid. I just moved about a two and a half hour drive away from where I used to live but I visit almost every weekend. My parents told me they want me to get a job so I proposed that I get one in the place I used to live. I'm very close with my friend who lives there and with his family. My parents know and trust them as we've been friends for years. I currently suffer from depression and I told my parents that it would make me happy and really help with my mental state to work there for the summer. They were completely okay with me going on an exchange which is a minimum of three months, and with a family they've never met, complete strangers. But suddenly they have a problem with me staying with a family, I and they, are very comfortable with. I told them that I'd be able to see them all through the summer regardless but they won't listen. Maybe I sound like a rebellious teenager, but I truly think that doing this would make me happy, but they don't agree. Any thoughts on this?

Welcome to PC!

Have your parents fully explained their reasoning? Perhaps ask again, what is it about being there that makes them uncomfortable? Something about the family? Or is it the town? Try to really listen and figure out what is going on in their heads before asking again. Perhaps you will learn something and then be able to address the concern. Staying with a friend for the summer sounds like a lot of fun from my POV.

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, I'd try to ask them what their worries/fears are.. good luck

[Perna]

Yes, I would ask about their thinking on the subject. I imagine they want you to move on some from where you use to live; it's one thing to visit old friends on weekends but going back to live there when you are in a new place you'll be for a couple years (and presumably going to school in, etc.), they may just wish you'd try to engage the new place. The exchange program would be something "new" (and with your school?) but sounds like you are hoping to stay where you "were" and that could get you stuck emotionally. Everything changes and that will change too and trying to hold on to what was makes it much harder to respond to what is.

Yep, ask their reasoning. I have thought about this too as a parent. I think I too would have an easier time with the exchange than a summer at a friend's. My reasoning? Responsibility and structure. As a parent I would be concerned about things being somewhat laxer at a friend's. Also, there exists a sense of purpose around an exchange which is not apparent with a long term visit with a friend. I would have a great deal of high expectations of your friend's parents too. Just my thoughts.

On the other hand, kudos to you for the suggestion you work.

What might help you in your favour?

A clear list of rules and expectations you are prepared to follow. An explanation of the complete purpose and outline of activities, etc (what are you going to do to ensure it is an enriching experience?) you intend to undertake. Perhaps even an example of your intended routine. All of these things I think would go far in demonstrating to your parents the positives for such an endeavour.

[Sunflower123]

I'm with everyone else. If you could sit down neutrally and with an open mind, try to get down to the root of their reasoning. Maybe from there you and your parents will come to an agreement. Best wishes.

[avlady]

i think same as all above!!!