[hxlcyon]

Hey. I wasn't sure where to put this, so I figured General Q&A would be best. I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety and I've suffered with depression all my life really.

I won't go into detail at all because I understand talking about suicide isn't usually allowed on forums. But that happened a few days ago, I was treated all fine and medically okay.

The issue is, I don't feel safe, I don't feel okay and if they came to me and said 'we need to admit you' I would have readily agreed. In all honest, I'll take what I can get with the NHS Mental Health system. I've been in the system since I was about 12 (20 now) and it's barely helped.

Anyway, the meeting I had at the hospital ended with me running out of the room crying and almost fainting as I got lost on my way back to my bed etc. I was a mess. And the mental health team sent me home with a phone number to ring if I get bad again and a website to go to for information.

Baring in mind I just tried taking my own life, I told them I wasn't safe and this has previously happened where I have wound up back in hospital less than two weeks later. I am honestly so upset and forgive any typos in this as my hands are shaking. I got home yesterday (overnight in the hospital) and I haven't left my bed since. My mother doesn't want to leave me alone and I've not eaten in three days. I'm honestly a mess and I want help but I have no idea what to do anymore. I feel like I'm grasping at straws and there just isn't anything left for me to do anymore.

I'm at a loss and so is my mother; she has to go back to work tomorrow. She took time off to look after me before but her work is so close to firing her because of the time she's taken off. I am planning on going into college to speak to my counsellor there- since they've been more helpful than anyone.. but I'm terrified and my anxiety is really bad right now.

Does anyone else have experience with the NHS Mental Health system (UK)? What can I do?

- Sorry if this is in the wrong forum or not appropriate or whatever.. I just want some advice and some guidance.

[unlived]

I haven't had any personal experience with the nhs but I know a lot of times mental health professionals treat people with borderline personality that way. Sometimes they won't admit you no matter what.

Just a suggestion - try eating. Sounds stupid but you haven't eaten for a long time and that will be making you feel worse.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm not an expert about hospitals and such, so I can't give a lot fo advice. Hopefully other members will read and give better advice. Since you feel so bad, can't you try to contact them again and explicitly say you need help (even requesting to be admitted, if you feel it's the best option)? After all, they DID gave you a phone number for cases like this..

[hxlcyon]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm not an expert about hospitals and such, so I can't give a lot fo advice. Hopefully other members will read and give better advice. Since you feel so bad, can't you try to contact them again and explicitly say you need help (even requesting to be admitted, if you feel it's the best option)? After all, they DID gave you a phone number for cases like this..

Thank you. I'm really nervous about saying I want to be admitted, there is so much stigma around my age and mental health - from what I've seen. When I was in hospital, the nurse in charge of my ward spoke to us (my mother told her about the mental health person and asked for advice), she made me feel like I was taking up resources and time and all that stuff. So now I am honestly just scared to get in touch with anyone and tell them how I feel.

Originally Posted by unlived

I haven't had any personal experience with the nhs but I know a lot of times mental health professionals treat people with borderline personality that way. Sometimes they won't admit you no matter what.

Just a suggestion - try eating. Sounds stupid but you haven't eaten for a long time and that will be making you feel worse.

I understand that with BPD, but I don't even have an appointment with a professional or anything.

Yeah, I've been trying to eat but I have no appetite and I feel really ill.

Thank you though.

[Sunflower123]

I encourage you to call that number. You said yourself that you're not safe and you're not doing well. I've only heard about NHS on this site, none of it good. Ignore that stupid nurse. You need to use the resources so you should use them. I hope you get help and start feeling better soon.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry . I have had experience with the NHS and have been turned away.

I don't have any advice really but I sincerely wish you well (((((( hugs )))))))

I hope your counsellor at college helps