Advice....

Hello all. 33 year old male here and wondered if someone could help me nail down some issues.

Some background: diagnosed with ADHD and depression, mother is schizophrenic. I've always had low self-esteem (and that may be the root of my problem) and a very poor self image.

Sometimes I feel like people are always silently judging me no matter what. It's like I'm constantly on center stage with the spotlight on me alone. I'm (sometimes) afraid of saying something stupid or embarrassing and I'll avoid conversations just so I won't have to talk.

I also have a general mistrust of people, even close family and friends. The smallest slight will become an attack on my character ("They just don't like me"). I always feel that my well-being is not a priority to those close to me and that they'd rather ignore me instead. I feel like some of my wife's friends only accept me because of my wife even though I have no reason to think that way; it's something entirely made up by me.

I tell myself that these aren't real and that people *do* care about and love me, but these feelings and thoughts persist. I'm wondering if it's more than simple anxiety?

Any advice is welcome!

I can relate to your struggles.. I often feel judged, as well. I think it's simply social anxiety/self-esteem issues. What are you doing to take care of it?

It sounds like you've got it pegged: low self esteem. There are a few things you can do: cognitive behavior therapy, books, tapes or therapy. Good luck and best wishes.

It was your childhood where all that got started. Work with a Therapist to help you understand your growing up.