[Mountaindewed]

I was at the grocery store on Wednesday. I used to work at that store back in 2014-2015. All I was doing was grabbing a bag of grapes from the produce department. Two employees, who were there when I worked there, and seemed ok, started laughing at me and saying "look at her." I was the only one in the produce department and they were looking directly at me. I had no idea what I was doing. I was literally just grabbing a bag of grapes. I had on a black t shirt, Levi's, and Vans. I did not look weirdly dressed. I am pretty much a normal weight so I did not look out of place in the produce department. I'm just really confused.

This happens a lot to me. I don't know why. I'm not doing anything. I'm just minding my own business and keeping to myself. It's gotten a lot better since I've lost the weight, but recently people have been giving me odd looks and doing double takes at me.

I am not that good looking, and I feel like I have unique facial features. But I dress normally and act normally.

Anyways, I decided to assert myself for once. I've always been told that people wont ever believe me about the things I say. So I've just been dealing with it. But I got tired of it. So I had the front end manager call the produce manager and I told him about his rude employees. He said that doesn't sound like them, but that he would talk to them.

I mean, what could they possibly be talking about? Again, all I did was pick up a bag of grapes. It was stupid.

He said that didn't sound like them. I've been getting that excuse all my life. In high school, I would go from one high school to the next, and in a matter of days, the bullying would start. I guess I kind of brought it on myself. I was gaining weight fast and I chose to wear childish shirts that had Sesame Street characters on them. Often they were too tight and too short. I was very socially awkward, and I did not take care of my hygiene.

Anyways, when I told the teachers it was always the same response: "oh, there're nice kids, they don't mean anything." It was very discouraging.

It was the same response from this manager.

I do not wear sesame Street shirts anymore. I wear name brand clothes or solid color t shirts. I take care of my hygiene and weigh 44 pounds less then I did in high school.

Can anyone give a logical explanation about what these employees were doing? Maybe they were trying to be nice but doing it oddly?

I just don't get why they would act like that when I wasn't doing anything.

[Sunflower123]

I can't give you a logical explanation but I can sympathize with you. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Hi Bozdickens. I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself and telling the produce manager. Even if his response to you was stupid and invalidating.
i dont know why two people would do that. But my guess, is that they were behaving immaturely, even if "that doesnt sound like them." dont blame yourself. keep sticking up for yourself.

Who cares if what they were doing doesn't "sound like them". If their laughing was unwelcomed, than they are doing little more than bullying you.

I used to have this problem back in high school because I was an overweight socially awkward computer geek who didn't care about making friends or how I looked. This didn't start changing until I started caring about myself by losing weight, building confidence, and learning how to stand up for myself.

So yeah, if people were laughing at me like that, my way of dealing with it would be to walk up to them, look them in the eye, and say "is there a problem"? If they still insist on harassing me, I would threaten to report them to their manager.

Id doesn't matter how somebody is "like". What ifs and could bes are meaningless; what matters is the actual facts. If people want to act stupid towards you, than their behavior is what matters and should not be tolerated, regardless of their reasoning.

[Thunder Bow]

You were being harassed and bullied. Best to stop shopping at that store. You did not bring it upon yourself. There is nothing wrong with you.

[Mountaindewed]

Thanks everyone.

It was just really weird. And they were older employees in their 40's-50's. I'm in my 20's. I've never had to deal with older employees giving me trouble before.

[pegasus]

It's a shame the manager didn't deal with it better. Two employees standing around chatting and possibly saying things about a customer is not on! I think you were brave to talk to the manager in the first place, maybe a letter would be a good idea too. Don't stop shopping there because of this, always hold your head up, your confidence will get better.

[*Laurie*]

I don't understand what those employees were doing, or why. But I don't like that your experiences of being bullied have been negated over the years.

One more thought I have is, are you sure those employees weren't coming on to you in a very clumsy way? My experience with people being singled out and observed is that they are being hit on, or flirted with. Plain or unattractive people are usually just left alone - by adults, anyway.

[Mountaindewed]

I'm not sure, but I don't think so. One of them was a woman who I think is married. She was the one who was doing the talking. The guy was giving me a dry smile. I don't think anything like that was going on.

[nikon]

Hi Bozdickens
sorry to hear of your experience. I have had similar things and always feel like I must look weird or awkward or stupid or something because of the way people look at me. Sometimes I think people are just rude and have no empathy, and don't think before they enjoy laughing at someone for no real reason. Just making someone the butt of a joke because they feel like a laugh. It's hard to think of it like that but I think sometimes that's the only reason.

[rufiki]

Hi. I was also socially awkward growing up. I was kind of clumsy and very shy. Because I was so quiet, kids made fun of me a lot and I never stood up for myself either. Now, many years later I sometimes think people are looking at me and thinking or saying I'm weird or creepy or something. I'm pretty sure it's just my insecurities. Could this be what happened to you? Maybe you only think people are looking at you strangely. I know when I hear people giggle around me my 1st reaction is they're laughing at me, but I'm trying to convince myself there's no reason for strangers to do that. You sound like a nice, normal person, who might be reacting to a life of bullying.

[Mountaindewed]

They were staring directly at me and saying "look at her." I was the only one in the area, and I was only a few feet from them. Maybe they were thinking they were being nice or funny or something, but they were doing it in a strange way.

[Artchic528]

OMG, this happens to me all the time. I go someplace, do something perfectly normal and in line with what is expected of me, and still, the laughing around me gets to me. Like you Boz, I have been singled out and bullied all of my life. I was the smallest in my class for the longest time. Because of my small size, I couldn't keep up with the other kids or was as athletic as them in places like Gym class. I was the small meek mousey type who hid behind her long thick red hair (or a book) all the time.

Maybe it was my size that singled me out. Or my flaming red hair (I remember wanting it to be a normal color like blonde because I thought blondes were prettiest when I was little), or maybe it was the fact that I was so quiet and shy. I don't know why I am always singled out, but I am. It's annoying that there are people out there that can zero into your insecurities and magnify them with little more than an out of place giggle behind a hand.

I just wanted to say you're not alone, Boz, and to offer some advice an old T gave me. Basically, just keep your head up and mind your own business, as it's not really important what others think if you have done nothing wrong according to your ethics and morals. What is important is that you're not in the wrong, and you should take comfort in that and move onto the next part of the store without giving anyone like those employees any sort of attention. It's really their problem, not yours.

[winter loneliness]

I'm sorry. People are just sometimes ***holes. It has happened to me too.