Afraid of crossing boundaries

Anyone else afraid to cross boundaries with other people even if you're told to help someone out with something and the person you were told to help out makes it very clear they don't want your help? I've been in that situation where I feel like I am in the middle, someone wants me to help someone else but the other person says no and it goes back and forth. For me, I start getting very anxious since I don't want to come off as disrespectful and not listen to the person telling me to assist someone, but at the same time, I want to respect the person who denies my help.

Not only do I want to respect their decision, but I've been in that situation myself as well. Someone assumes I need help when I really don't need help and when I politely turn them down, they keep on insisting that they will help me which makes me feel very uncomfortable. In a couple cases, I have gotten annoyed at someone who persistently keeps on trying to help me with someone when it is not needed to the point where if I ever did need any help in the future, I would not ask the person who wouldn't leave me alone.

I know it sounds harsh but that's just how I feel and I wouldn't want anyone else to feel the same way towards me. I like to respect other people's decisions, just like how I would want someone to respect my decision. Anyone else afraid of crossing other people's boundaries? Have you ever just accepted someone's decision to not let you help them despite being told to do so? It doesn't have to be just work related. It can be in social situations too. Five years ago, during my first time as an Orientation Leader, I was expected to help out the freshmen.

For the most part it went great, no problems. But at one point during the weekend, I was flat out told by a group of freshmen I was told to help that they didn't want me. That was fine, but I still felt extremely torn apart since I was expected to help. But I told someone that the group did not want any help whatsoever and they were okay with it and respected their wishes, which I was glad. Same thing sometimes happens at work. Every so often, a student will say they don't need or want help so I will quietly let the teacher know and the teacher is okay with it and respects that decision as well. I always just find other people that may need help. There are many other examples as well. Do you get extreme anxiety when feeling torn apart? Just wondered what your experiences were.

If your job is to be of assistance to others, then it can be tricky. Otherwise, you started this thread sounding like you were in the crossfire of two stubborn people.

Yeah, it can happen at any time. Whether it is at a job, or social event, or anywhere else to anyone. Being in the crossfire of two stubborn people can be very frustrating and annoying.

You sound like you're navigating the situations well.

What are the circumstances here? Why is this person asking you to help not doing so themselves? Is this a social/acquaintanceship situation or that of a directive within a job or area of responsibility? The situation with the students sounds like the latter; that you have been placed in a position of leadership. If this is so, I don't interpret it as 'helping' rather that of providing some direction. If this is the case, I think approaching the situation from a standpoint of "This is what we are going to do....." is the way to handle it. Divy up and delegate some of that authority an tasks amongst those subordinate to you.

(sorry, ignore this as it was a double post)