[LiteraryLark]

My question is a rather strange one, but it seems so obvious. Why do couples decide to have children? What makes a person want to have children? What are the reasons behind it? I'm just curious because I'm about to enter the prime child-bearing age and was just wondering what makes a person want to have a baby.

Lol, I love your title. I am a woman who has seldom wanted children of her own. I do like kids, and feel drawn to nurture, but I don't usually want children of my own. I wonder if it's a combination of hormones and like, a natural instinct, for some people, and maybe for some its a cultural / societal thing. I have heard of women who really want to bear and have children. Like its a deep desire they've always had.

[reb569]

I think probably it is an instinct in a lot of ways, however; both of my sisters never had children. Have always said they didn't want children, and never have. I always wanted at least one child, preferably a girl (I do have one daughter) Why I was different when I grew up in the same home as them, I don't know.

[benzenering]

Hmmm...my two were both accidents so darned if I know

[Sunflower123]

I had a strong maternal instinct to have a baby. My husband wanted one badly as well. Went through a **** of a lot to get her. Probably would have had 2-3 more if I hadn't gotten sick. I love being a mother.

[liz0320]

I think there are strong instincts in a lot of people, maybe in the sense that they want to nurture and care for someone else. I personally do not want and will never have children, but I do want to nurture animals. It seems that some people don't have this instinct at all, though. There's also the curiosity of what children will look like as well as wanting to pass down the family name and genes. I don't think those are as strong as the nurturing aspect, though.

For me it was mostly being with the right partner, I really wanted to have his baby (never felt like that about anyone before), but I was also an auntie so enjoying taking care of my neice and that got me thinking.

[~Christina]

I always wanted one child , a girl and she's the biggest blessing in my life, 26 and enjoying her life.

[*Laurie*]

I've always adored babies and children and wanted a family of my own, which I have. I have two (adult) children...wish I would've had more.

I simply got pregnant - and again five years later. Neither child was planned. Circumstances were difficult. But I would never do it different if given the opportunity again.

It can work the other way too.

I have known women and couples for instance who chose to have a child only for it to be a dreadful experience. Simply put, it was not the experience they looked forward to or thought it would be like. Oh these couples love their children greatly but some of them do have regrets.

If wanting or planning one needs to really consider all aspects including te fact that not every day will be a good one and the incredible cost having a child incurs.

I have also seen women have a baby not because they want one but because they feel it is expected of them or otherwise feel pressured into doing so.

There is more then than simply having the urge for a child to think about.

[unaluna]

I was not nurtured myself, and i was pretty actively discouraged from playing with dolls, and even kept away from my younger cousins when they were babies. I was always pushed to read books and otherwise act like a grownup, not play with other kids. So frankly, i have a low tolerance for the needs of children - for the needs of anyone else, really. I think you cant give what you never got. My bucket is empty.

Eta - i thought about having kids for about 5 minutes in my 30's. My mother said, dont look for any help from me. I should have asked her sister, shes like super-granny. Too late now!

[Jen35]

My mom, who had mental health issues, and divorced my father when I was 5, had a hard time raising me and my sister, although she loved us and tried her best. But this made me very clear-eyed about the hardships of raising children and I always believed it was an important decision never to be taken lightly.

I wanted to be a writer and explore other elements of life, so decided not to become a parent, but this decision wasn't carefree. I have always loved children, especially cuddling with little ones, and always assumed that my multiple nieces and nephews - from my husband's side as well - would be available for me to bond with. But families tend to spread far and wide these days, so much of the bonding never happened.

I still think that I made the right decision for me, but I would have enjoyed having more strong relationships with children during my life, but it just hasn't happened. I tend to be an introvert and get involved in my own projects and don't socialize with family a lot, so I do take part of the blame.

Raising children certainly is a decision not to be taken lightly, IMHO. It is a lifetime commitment and a tremendously selfless act, if done well.