[Mountaindewed]

I think it's just time to do something other then group. I don't really fit in anymore. I had an incident happen today with a couple of guys, that caused me to leave group and walk to Subway and then be picked up from there.

The second group was called off, so 30 of us were in one group. We were doing an activity where you elected a leader to chose what game we would play. I asked the group leader to not put me on the list because I did not want to be the leader of the group. And honestly, I knew no one would vote for me. I didn't care if they didn't, I just wanted to save myself from an awkward and embarrassing situation.

I told the group leader not to put me on the list, and he said he was going to anyways.

He started reading off names and then he said "who votes for Bozdickens?" Two guys raised their hands and started laughing. One of the guys has done this sort of stuff before to me, the other guy, I haven't had issues with before, but I'm not surprised by his behavior.

It really offended me. They all went into the other room to do the chosen activity and I stayed in the room.

The group leader was asking me what was going on, and I explained the situation to him. I called those two guys a bad name to the group leader, and one of the guys was still in earshot.

The group leader didn't really understand what my issue was. I guess maybe these two guys were trying to make a joke. But I didn't find it funny. I found it offensive.

It's a combination of the women I mentioned in another post and these two guys today, that just put me over the edge.

I don't need this high school bullying crap from people who are 10-20 years older then me.

I'm going to just go to group one day a week. Only like 13 people are there that day.

I'm thinking of getting rid of one of my insurance company's and if I do that, I'll have to pay $10 a group. So I'd be paying $20 a week. I'd much rather do that and keep my primary doctor and therapist who are not currently being covered.

Did I overreact? I don't feel like I did because It really did upset me. I guess they might of been joking around, but I didn't find it funny.

[*Laurie*]

No. You did not overreact. I have been a member in several therapy/support groups and I currently facilitate a successful NAMI Connection group.

The leader of your group is not doing his job well at all. When you asked no to be put on the list you shouldn't have been put on the list. Period. No more questions asked.

The leader set the group tone by his attitude. By the way, I am strongly opposed to peers voting to elect certain group members to lead an activity. Reminds me of children being chosen for sports teams by their peers. It's wrong and should not be done.

The leader should never tolerate bullying within the group.

And 30 participants? That's ridiculous. I don't understand how any group work can be accomplished with so many participants.

What is the format of the group - therapy or peer support? Is the leader a therapist or a peer?

I'm so sorry you had such a poor group experience. Please don't let it turn you off to all groups (((Hug))).

[Mountaindewed]

It's a combination of peer support and therapy. The leader is a therapist. There are usually two groups going on at one time, but there was a big event going on later in the day so they combined.

I am in the other group for these exact reasons. This was my first time being in the group and what I was worried would happen did happen.

I'm also thinking of my insurance issues too. I'd much rather be able to see my doctors and therapist and mentor then going to groups.

I'd be upset too. What was the group facilitator's problem? Why did he put you on the list when you told him not to? That feels unsupportive to me and **** those guys who laughed. Good for you for sticking up for yourself.

Also, I might consider talking to the leader's supervisor. And I agree w Laurie. He was setting the tone and not being a good leader.

[*Laurie*]

Definitely not qualified to facilitate a group. Wow.

[possum220]

Originally Posted by Bozdickens

It's a combination of peer support and therapy. The leader is a therapist. There are usually two groups going on at one time, but there was a big event going on later in the day so they combined.

I am in the other group for these exact reasons. This was my first time being in the group and what I was worried would happen did happen.

I'm also thinking of my insurance issues too. I'd much rather be able to see my doctors and therapist and mentor then going to groups.

Peer Support....... not so much. The leader was being clueless so this is not a good start. I would also encourage you to talk to the supervisor and give them feedback. You may like to suggest that there are two group facilitators.

I have found that not all groups are a good match for me and others are great. Please don't give up just yet. If this group doesn't work out maybe the supervisor may be able to suggest a better match for you and your needs.

[Thunder Bow]

Best to quit the group. They seem over controlling and quite toxic.

This facilitator is not doing his job?

[Mountaindewed]

I did leave a message for the group leader. I said some pretty nasty things about the program and the two guys. I thought I'd might get into trouble for the things I said. But when I saw him the next day he didn't even mention what I had said. I'm guessing what I said was not exactly untrue.

The issue is, this group leader and I usually have a pretty good relationship. He really helped me out when my old therapist just stopped seeing me and didn't offer to switch me to someone else and I react well to him in general.

We just talked normally to each other the next day. I'm not sure if he was just ignoring the situation or if he truly didn't understand what my issue was.

I've had a lot of stuff happen to me so it's easier to not hold grudges when I like someone.

[*Laurie*]

So will you be returning to the group, or not?

[Mountaindewed]

I'm really torn. But probably just one day a week.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry this happened to you. You didn't overreact. So if you change your insurance you won't be going to group anymore? I definitely wouldn't go back to the group with the two guys and the ladies who are bullying and not supportive. I encourage you to seriously consider what benefit you are getting out of this.

[Mountaindewed]

Thanks.

I decided today that I am definitely getting rid of my secondary insurance. So I guess that solves the problem. I'll just be going once a week.

[Thunder Bow]

It just shows you done the right thing.