[Firecrystal]

Hello,
Just wondered really if there is a name or condition for this. A person who's never been in love before, and a person who's never been loved by anyone. Even if that person is a friendly, attractive and nice human being. No one falls in love with that person and no one has ever wanted to be with them. A person who feels lonely because of this. It's not a person who deliberately avoids love or friendship. A person who's not liked by anyone else.
Also what does it mean when that same person isn't cared about? If family and everyone don't care if that person is alive or dead? When that person gets ill, no one cares?
I ask because that person I'm asking about is me.

[FallDuskTrain]

Yes
It is called life.
Sorry. I m not trying to be rude... but I sincerely find it very difficult to believe that you were never loved by anyone before. I am confident that you were loved at one point in your life.
Even if this is the case in the present, you are not alone. I know of people, including myself, who has no one to love them or care for them. At least not in the way they would love to be cared for.
To answer your question, no it is not an illness. It is, as I said at the introduction, merely a condition of life.
Everyone has priorities and limited energy. So, logically most people spend their limited energy on their priorities, which usually consist of very few people.
Yes, being unloved sucks but it won’t kill you.
I know how painful it is to feel so loveless and unprotected but the more you focus on it the worse it will impact your mental health. Try to shift your focus to other people’s needs. May be try to be the one to give love, if you can.

[Carmina]

It's a form of starvation - a malnutrition of the soul

[possum220]

Is it a fact that others really dont care? Or that you are disconnected from your own emotions that it feels like other don't care.

The ache from loneliness can feel like an emotional cancer... well that's my take on it.

[sugarbeeMe]

This sounds cliche but I believe You have to find a way to love yourself. I faked it for a long time. Having someone to love and be loved by is a blessing. Don’t give up. Take this time in your life to reflect on love- find books, podcasts- TED talks. Become an expert on healthy love. Sending you love ❤️ as one human person to another.

[pegasus]

Hello Firecrystal, if your parents had difficulty showing their love and affection toward you and/or the family were abusive then this would be why you are the way you are. If you were abused then you would find it difficult to trust people and let them in your life. If you were not shown love and affection then you would find it hard to show others it also.

So, it's not an illness but feels very lonely, you are loveable, believe me! You might want to discuss this further with a therapist.

[All Is Revealed]

Originally Posted by Firecrystal

Hello,
Just wondered really if there is a name or condition for this. A person who's never been in love before, and a person who's never been loved by anyone. Even if that person is a friendly, attractive and nice human being. No one falls in love with that person and no one has ever wanted to be with them. A person who feels lonely because of this.

It's called having toxic horrible parents who don't love you. Yes, there are parents who have unwanted children. As a result, they end up hating those unwanted kids. I know this because I was like you for most of my life.

My parents and disgusting family never showed me love or even cared when I got sick. So you end up with some mental illness.

You can't blame yourself. How can you show love to the human race when it never showed love to you? What matters is that you love yourself. Falling in love with yourself takes time, but well worth it.

Sorry if this sounds Narcissistic, but it is.

[Sunflower123]

(((((( Firecrystal ))))))

[amandalouise]

first ... I didnt recognize your name and saw you have been here a while.. I read your past posts, in at least one of them you mention you are 40 and in another you stated you have kids....that tells me a good guess is you have been in love at least with the fathers of your children. reason I mention this is sometimes my mental illnesses will tell me Im unloved and I dont know what love is. then I look at my wife and children and the feeling of love is right there for me. suggestion maybe next time you are with your children maybe look at them and notice what you are feeling. you know that bubbly wow, amazement, and butterflies feeling is love.

some of your posts mention you help animals and rescue them... maybe next time you are holding an animal and have the urge to rescue them think about how you are feeling at that moment... thats love.

in another post you stated you love watching some of your favorite shows. maybe this too can show you what love is for you. that feeling you have about your shows thats love.

your past posts have many examples of how and when you have felt love, sometimes when I cant feel or am feeling emotionless I come on here and reread my posts. they remind me of my feelings. maybe your posts can do that too for you.

now your question what is it called when you cant feel love....

I dont know about you, but in me its called lack of affect and also medication reactions. when this happens I call my doctors and they fix my meds so that I can feel emotions again.

what is it called when family dont show they care when someone is sick... I dont know about your family and where you are, but here where I am it can be normal. love and other feelings in my family do not depend on whether I am sick or not. sometimes my family and friends are so busy with taking care of their own problems and life that they cant add in the problems of another person too. theres also finances. sometimes family and friends dont have the money to buy cards and gifts for each other. some are so busy trying to afford their own food, clothing and medications that there is nothing left for other people.

my point there are many reasons why my family and friends dont show caring when I expect them to. instead they do other things for me like babysitting my children, and other non material and unexpected things, not when I think they should do this or that.

there is a saying here where I am... I am no good for others if Im not good for myself first. Im an adult not a child, if I was a child it would be different but Im not so my family and friends leave it to me to take care of me and they take care of their own selves first, then if theres anything left over they give where they can. but again our life is not materialistic. we show love for each other in many ways.

maybe you can ask your family why they did not help you when you had cancer, and why they are not showing you the kind of love you would like.