[Mountaindewed]

I was at a clothing store today. I was in a section in front of the store, I was the only one in that part of the store. Some man in really bad drag walked up to me he said “I like big girls and I cannot lie.” I don’t think he saw me. I’m about 40 pounds below 200 pounds and I don’t think I look big. But then he did see me and he gave me this creepy look. I got scared and got out of the area. The guy was big. Not overweight, but well over 6ft. I was by the door. He could of easily taken advantage of me and pulled me out the door. Again we were the only one in that part of the store.

It’s just a little bit unsettling. I don’t know his intentions, but based on his behavior (not necessarily the way he was dressed) it seemed like he was mentally ill.

I always worry about situations like this. But I’ve never dealt with something totally like this. I’ve been feeling anxious in general for several days in a row
Anyways.

Did I overreact by running away from him?

[Deejay14]

It would be far more disconcerting if you didn't remove yourself!

[amandalouise]

sorry you went through that. Im not always comfortable with certain type of people either because they remind me of my abuser. one thing my treatment provider said to me helped a lot in this kind of situation where I am alone and someone says something....

do some reality testing. going to use your post so that you see what I mean...

in your post you stated

you and this person were the only ones in the store where you were.

then you said he stated what he did

then the words after that is ... "I don’t think he saw me. "

reality question.... if he didnt see you and you were the only one in that section of the store who was he talking to? not you if he didnt see you.

reality.... thee is nothing to worry about you were completely safe since he did not see you so he wasn't talking to you.

after he saw you, you said he gave you a creepy look.

reality question was it a creepy look as in he wanted to hurt you or a creepy look that meant he was shocked you were there and might have over heard what he said.

my reaction in therapy wow yea your right I was safe. this was just me being a bit paranoid and hypervigilant (PTSD symptoms in me) and yea that creepy look could have been he was staring at me because he was shocked I may have over heard what he said. for me it was a scarey situation and due to my PTSD I may have misinterpretted what was going on.

After gonig through the situation with my therapist I felt better and realized that if the guy didnt see me he could have been talking on an ear headset for his cell phone to someone else, he could have been talking about the merchandise he was looking at or for in the store..... so many things that he could have been saying this about other than me since he didnt see me there until ....after.... he had said what he did.

suggestion maybe print off your post and take it to your treatment provider who can help you work through this and find ways to help you for the next time something like this happens.

[Thunder Bow]

Leaving was your ONLY Choice.

You did the right thing.

Something like that happened to me when I was in college. I was shopping in a strip mall next to campus when a man in an overcoat kept following me from store to store. He would position himself so that he would walk by and say an obscenity. I called the cops and they got him. He tried to run when he saw them pull up, and I pointed to the store he ran into.

Frankly, I wished I had run instead of calling the cops, because after they nabbed him, they said I had to agree to testify in order to arrest him, so I did. But then I did nothing but worry that he would find out who I was.

They never did contact me.

[Mountaindewed]

I'm actually hoping he didn't see me when he said "i like big girls and I cannot lie." Because I'm struggling with how I look . I weigh 160 pounds and am not short. I still consider myself big and plus size even though I am a size 8 in pants and a medium in shirts. I'm hoping he didn't see because that would just prove my fears are correct. That I'm still big.

It was mostly wishful thinking that I hoped he didn't see me until after he said that

That guy sounds so weird. I think the weirdest part was that it was so random. I'm sure he was crazy, too. People say weird **** sometimes. People are weird. You did the right thing completely, by running.

On a similar subject, my 7 year old cousin, who has MI issues and behavioral issues (literally, she is taking psych medication and sees a therapist), said to me the other day: "you eat a whole box of donuts?" I thought it was weird and mean and I took it personally even though she is just a child, because I am sensitive about my weight, too, sometimes. But I mean, look who said it.

((((Boz))))

[*Laurie*]

Ah, some stupid woman asked me today if I'm pregnant. I'm 55. Give me a break. People can be soooo dense.

Anyway, the guy sounds like a serious creepster, boz. You definitely took the smartest action by getting out of his space. Yuck.

[Mountaindewed]

I see my therapist tomorrow.

I hope her answer isn’t “well, I’m sure he didn’t mean anything.”

I’m tired of people saying that I’m overreacting to situations or interpreting them wrong.

If it were me, I'd thank them for the compliment (for is that not what they were attempting in their warped way?) and move on. I would not be angry. I would save the story to share a drink over someday.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Bozdickens

I see my therapist tomorrow.

I hope her answer isn’t “well, I’m sure he didn’t mean anything.”

I’m tired of people saying that I’m overreacting to situations or interpreting them wrong.

You're examining your reaction to the creep, which is good. My feeling is that if you, or anyone, feels uncomfortable in a situation (regardless of what anyone else says) you have the option of getting out of that situation. No one should feel trapped. No one should have their boundaries crossed.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

If it were me, I'd thank them for the compliment (for is that not what they were attempting in their warped way?) and move on. I would not be angry. I would save the story to share a drink over someday.

I understand that’s what you would do

But for me, It was a very scary situation. I was very uncomfortable. I felt like I did the right thing. And to me, it was an insult and nothing to thank him over.