[palsera27]

This has happened to me several times. I go to a T to talk about my crush on an older woman. At first the T is helpful. Then she wants to relate my attraction to women to my mom. Basically the T lies about being affirming and goes through LBGTQ training just to get you in the door. Then when you open up to them the try to change you.

I’m sorry but telling someone just get over someone or trying to force someone to come out to their crush is not how you deal with these issues. To coming out to someone I don’t know well can be dangerous

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you had this unfortunate experience. Yes, I'd have to agree with what you wrote. I've had a life-long gender identity struggle. I've tried talking to a few different therapists over the years. I didn't mention my GID issues to most of them. But when I did I had some less than stellar experiences!

The last T I saw was one who worked regularly with transgender clients. It made a difference. I still didn't feel as though she was a particularly great therapist. And I didn't continue to see her long. But at least she never made me feel like some kind of oddity, which others did.

My personal feeling is that it's necessary to cautiously access a new therapist, so to speak, before diving into the crux of one's issues. Perhaps it shouldn't be that way. But, at least from my perspective, it is.

[palsera27]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I'm sorry you had this unfortunate experience. Yes, I'd have to agree with what you wrote. I've had a life-long gender identity struggle. I've tried talking to a few different therapists over the years. I didn't mention my GID issues to most of them. But when I did I had some less than stellar experiences!


The last T I saw was one who worked regularly with transgender clients. It made a difference. I still didn't feel as though she was a particularly great therapist. And I didn't continue to see her long. But at least she never made me feel like some kind of oddity, which others did.


My personal feeling is that it's necessary to cautiously access a new therapist, so to speak, before diving into the crux of one's issues. Perhaps it shouldn't be that way. But, at least from my perspective, it is.

Thanks. The drift I get with this therapist is that she feels that if change one thing poof I’m not attracted to this woman anymore. Also they relate all my issues to my parents. Yes I less then stellar parents and was abused by my mom but that doesn’t mean I’m looking for a surrogate mother. I just want to be loved and accepted for who I am

[tecomsin]

I'm not sure what to say, just to let you know that I care about your feelings. It might not be easy but maybe one day you can find a therapist who can help. I would tell the therapist directly what you feel.. "that she feels that if i change one thing poof I'm not attracted to this woman anymore". Have you confronted this therapist with your feelings?

It might depend on the modality of the therapist, also. I think psychoanalytic and psychodynamic stuff focuses a lot on hidden meanings. I'm no modalities expert, but there are some modalities that assumes a lot of hidden meanings and modailities that do less so, or only in a practical way. (CBT for example tends to focus on the things that bother you, not the things that the T feels are weird. So if you are scared of cows because you're scared of zebra's because you're scared of Africa because your dad's friend was from there, that will only become a focus if it actually bothers YOU - if you find a job on a dairy farm or something.)

[*Laurie*]

Hmm. Where I am in California, I don't think the "T" would be discouraged in any way.

Hmmm, this is highly unprofessional and I would think goes against whatever code of conduct a therapist must adhere too.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this.

I attended a conference of mental health professionals once as a guest. Each identified their specialty on the name tags the wore. By coincidence those that specialised in gender related health seemed the youngest in the building. Some apparently were just completing their final rotations at med school. So, just a thought here, is there a med school nearby? Is it possible to get yourself the help you need from someone fresh from training?