[PuzzledColours]

When I struggle with things I can never seem to calm down and it takes me a long time so I was wondering what could I do to help myself to relax when things are tense. I normally read but when my head gets a little too loud that's when I begin to loose control. any ideas what I could do?

[TheLifeFantastic]

That is a hard one to answer because people do different things to calm down. I know from personal experience that if I can't calm down from my usual manners then there is some thing happening externally or chemically in my life that is making impossible to relax. Do you have anyone to talk to or perhaps get a professional help. It can be very scary, but with help I was able to stabilize my thinking to be more calm.

Also do take time for yourself! I tend to get mad when I'm having to be around to much activity.

I have a hard time with this too. Being active helps me. I like to walk and just moving helps me get out all that negative energy.

[*Laurie*]

Does listening to music help?

One type of sound that I find calming is binaural beat music. You can read about binaural beats online, and the music/sound is available on youtube, Spotify, and many other sites.

[PuzzledColours]

Originally Posted by TheLifeFantastic

That is a hard one to answer because people do different things to calm down. I know from personal experience that if I can't calm down from my usual manners then there is some thing happening externally or chemically in my life that is making impossible to relax. Do you have anyone to talk to or perhaps get a professional help. It can be very scary, but with help I was able to stabilize my thinking to be more calm.

Also do take time for yourself! I tend to get mad when I'm having to be around to much activity.

I sometimes struggle to stay calm and I can easily snap at people, I've had therapy in the past but now I'm on a waiting list for MBT and it feels like forever. I'm hoping to see someone for psychological therapy but gotta ring them for an appointment first. I don't get a lot of help but I am trying to open up to people more.

[Deejay14]

I practice mindfulness. It's as easy as it you are cutting veggies for a salad be 100℅ effort on doing that activity..focus on the colors, the contours,what the veggies feel like in your hands, etc. It's important to note that your head will naturally to back to the negative stuff. When that happens gently bring yourself back to the salad without getting upset or judging yourself in any way.

A lot of people use focusing on their breathing since that is always available. The more you practice this the easier it becomes.

[downandlonely]

I like coloring. There are adult coloring books you can get. Or kids ones if you want.

[Agent Misty]

If it is taking you a long time to calm down, you may not have the best coping/resolution/stress management patterns... for lack of better terms. Everyone's method for coming to a personal resolution and release of whatever caused their negative feelings at hand is different. and some problems need different types of management for their stress. Some people have one go to thing to relieve stress (like my fiance with video games) and some people have multiple/many activities... and some need a little time, some need more. There's meditation and mindfulness, exercise or other activities that utilize the body, going outdoors and into nature, creative and intellectual activities like drawing, coloring, reading, writing, music, learning about something of interest... the list goes on and on.

You should try different things and see what you like if you aren't particularly sure.

For me, activities aren't a magic fix. They are a break and an opprotunity to say I can and should put this problem or these emotions or this stress on pause, that is OK. The reason that helps is while focusing on the activity and letting some time pass with your mind at least mostly off the issue, you are giving yourself the chance for your emotions to stabilize. Then you are better set up to successfully come to a resolution, acceptance, etc. for whatever is going on.

If I start doing an activity when I am not calm I remain tense and.. just.. off a bit while I do it. It's kind of hard to be feeling 100% good when you began the activity stressed. However as I get through the activity my mind slowly drifts more towards what is at hand and farther from the emotional state of mind I started in. By the time I am done, I am in a much better place to manage the problem or feelings.

I'd also like to mention that for me, achieving calm and peace in my life required changing myself and my negative thought patterns at their very foundations.

But having things to occupy my mind are a huge help sometimes.

My activities for those tense moments are cleaning and doing something for someone (like a task, errand, shopping for a gift, ANYTHING for them because it means my mind is on that person, not me). Then of course the more indulgent, less productive 'activities' like ordering something yummy, taking an untimely nap, or sitting online/at the tv for 3 hours and so on. Those are certainly not suggestions, I am just being honest that not every activity I do to calm down or just relax is creative or productive.

[PuzzledColours]

Thank you! I tend to read several books or play on my PS4. I'm somewhat anti-social so I only go out if I have a reason or a need to go out. I sometimes try and draw but I also get frustrated by what I draw as sometimes they don't come out how I want them to.

I sometimes take the stress out on my self by either pulling my hair out which I don't do often or bruising my skin or overdosing.. I have a bike but I don't ride it as I never know where to go on it and I don't have anyone else to go bike riding with so sometimes it gets difficult to handle when I'm stressed.

I have tried Yoga but I've found that my body isn't really ready for that as I'm normally aching the day after but I have been going to an exercise class and also brought dumbbells and resistance bands for at home and I've been looking at different videos on youtube to watch. I try and de-stress but half the time it seems impossible and it only gets worse when my head gets a little too loud which is mainly having a feeling that there's someone in my head always criticizing me for everything that I do.

[PuzzledColours]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I like coloring. There are adult coloring books you can get. Or kids ones if you want.

I haven't thought about doing that in such a long time, I've even got a Star Trek and Harry Potter coloring book which I totally forgot about.

[PuzzledColours]

Originally Posted by Deejay14

I practice mindfulness. It's as easy as it you are cutting veggies for a salad be 100℅ effort on doing that activity..focus on the colors, the contours,what the veggies feel like in your hands, etc. It's important to note that your head will naturally to back to the negative stuff. When that happens gently bring yourself back to the salad without getting upset or judging yourself in any way.

A lot of people use focusing on their breathing since that is always available. The more you practice this the easier it becomes.

I've never thought about doing that, I'll have to give it a try and as for the breathing I may try that when I first wake up and go to bed or even when I'm at work.

[eskielover]

I start by taking a nice relaxing shower & envisioning the stress washing down the drain. For me it has to start off as a hot shower then cool down. I usually have a nice smelling candle going also.

I used to put in a DVD & watch a movie. It tskes my mind totally off what was causing the stress..it doesn't mean the stress is gone or that it won't pop back up again but it gives me a break & a chance to break the cycle for awhile & get a little relief.

Really stressful situations require a repeat of this often for me.