I seem to be triggered very easily,
I look ok and act ok, I’m so used to acting out like I’m ok, It’s exhausting, can do it less now..

Been triggered and I find it hard to do things, telephone calls , shopping, I’m afraid that the couple of people I see just don’t realise, even when I say something , I’ve been so able, and in fact done a professional job in the past that now I don’t think they accept I can’t cope right now, and tbh I can’t tell them now,

I can’t put it into words...I’ve had cbt and mindfulness I’ve never sat back I’ve gone out and when I’ve been feeling ok I’ve researched and I’ve reached out, but I’m getting to the stage where I can’t retain information much and things are becoming very difficult. I think each time I’m triggered badly it gets worse..

I am having psychology sessions, psychologist is great but I realise there’s no money in the nhs for me to have support other than that, I’m afraid I’m not coping and there are no agencies in my area to help, I’ve looked until I’m blue in the face....and I get the impression I’m not seriously ill enough for my psychologist to instigate any further help...

I can’t go to the shops right now as I’m not up to going out, I’m not great on organising home deliveries, it’s complex...I’m really feeling afraid that I’m not coping well and can’t portray that.

Even to my one family member who occasionally helps and is going away for a couple of weeks , I don’t want to bother him really as I suspect his life is extremely hectic but he helps on the odd occasion......
Don’t know where to turn 😩

I have important forms that require copying and forwarding and I’m so worried I can’t get out to do it...if I manage to go it will be distressing for me and I will struggle for days after...

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are struggling. I've been hiding myself my whole life & I'm still doing it. So I know, as you say, it is exhausting. I made a few clumsy half-hearted attempts to get help. But none of it amounted to anything. I didn't really begin to seriously unravel until I was around 50. And by that time nobody's interested in your problems anymore. The one good thing is, now that I'm 70, I probably don't have a whole lot of years left to worry about it. And I no longer have to function in the world in any capacity. So I just pretty-much keep to myself.

I wish I knew what to tell you as far as where to turn goes. I'm not in the U.K. But, from what I've read here on PC, I have the impression mental health services there can be pretty dismal for the most part. Here in the U.S., if you're young & either come from a family with money or have good insurance, I guess mental health services can be good. But otherwise they can be pretty dismal here too. The state I live in is probably one of the better ones from that perspective.

Anyway... I'm just rambling here. I mostly just wanted to let you know I read your post & offer you my best wishes. Please take care...

Thank you for the kind words skeezyks.
Means a lot.
I’m sorry to hear of your struggles

It’s lovely to receive a reply and know I’m not alone
Thank you big time ! 😊

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Hi Red Daisy. It sounds like depression? Have you been diagnosed, if you don't mind me asking.

It crept up on me slowly, too.

I'm UK, and share your frustration regarding therapists.

When I joined PC, I was in despair. Just felt so bad all the time. Exhausted.

Sertraline helped me a lot. There are side effects, but to me, it was worth it.

Hanging out here was also very healing.

Wish you the very best.

Hi
Thank you for the reply. I appreciate it.
Yes I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression..I am in contact with gp regular and have therapy.

I live alone and I am concerned that sometimes due to anxiety I can’t get out , it’s difficult around shopping and generally doing things that I would need to go outside for....
There’s no help around for that sort of thing, funding isn’t there... I guess I’m afraid I could come unstuck not being able to get food, I can’t arrange home delivery as I have a problem with that..
my fears are around not being able to do things for myself due to severe anxiety...
Hope I’m making sense. I mean what do people do when they live alone and can’t get out for days on end ...