Boundary issues?

I don’t know if this is a psychological thing or not, but I figured I would see if anyone else had this problem. I get unusually mad when anyone (and I do mean anyone) gets in my bed besides me. I also share a bathroom and get really mad if my sister puts any of her things on my side of the bathroom. I don’t get mad in a “my sister is annoying” way. It’s more like my brain starts going into overdrive and I want to scream. My entire family thinks it’s ridiculous and gets really offended that I start yelling if they even sit on my bed. Can’t say I really blame them. I feel awful for it, but I don’t know how to explain it when I don’t even know why I do it.

Thank you for sharing this concern. Honestly, I don't know what is causing this. But I went back & took a look at your first post, here on PC. So I know you are a CSA survivor. I'm certainly no expert with regard to any of this. But my inclination would be to suggest that your anger & your sensitivity with regard to perceived invasions of your personal space (your bed & your side of the bathroom) are perhaps lingering after effects of the abuse you suffered. And assuming this is the case (& even if it is not the case) the best way to get to the bottom of what is causing this may be to work with a mental health therapist to figure out what's going on & what to do about it.

By the way, there a therapist named Peggy Oliveira who uploads videos on her YouTube channel on the subject of sexual abuse. You might find some of Peggy's videos to be of interest. Here's a link:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiz...zNRdCN2NMyiUXA

And then, of course, family therapist Kati Morton is another YouTuber whose videos may be of some help:

https://www.youtube.com/user/KatiMorton

My best wishes to you...

OH my DEAR!!!!! We could talk about this all day. It is called extreme territorial aggression. I am married but I sleep alone in my own room. I think I am this way because when I was living at home, my parents insisted that I respect other peoples areas, but they did not have to respect mine. I am the ruler within my "perimeter", and I won't apologize for it. I am one of those that could not imagine having servants. People with their hands and eyes all over my stuff every day? No.

i was like this as a child. i think it was because my siblings would get in my space. we all have our own space and people can invade it.i grew up as the second eldest of 11 kids so i know what it is like to be invaded. maybe for me it was because there were so many of us that i couldn't find control of my environment. good luck

Hi Yellowhotelroom, first I want to welcome you to Psych Central and I think you will find these forums helpful in that not only can you find others who can relate, but there are also a lot of articles and links you can learn to look up that touches on your challenge so you can understand better why you struggle so much.

I noticed when I looked at your "about me" that you stated that you have PTSD, this means you are predisposed to being a lot more sensitive when it comes to your boundaries and how others who don't listen and respect your boundaries can trigger a lot of anger. The truth is that you suffered from a trauma that has something to do with your experiencing feeling "out of control" to protect yourself in some way and that can lead to a person developing PTSD and becoming a lot more sensitive and defensive about things that "invade or intrude" on them in some way. Once a person experiences a trauma the person stores a lot of information about the trauma and how they genuinely felt threatened in a part of the brain that is more primitive and develops "reactions" based on threats a person experiences in their life. Often what happens is that the person can "react" before their conscious mind decides to do so and this can become very frustrating for this person in that they don't actually make the decision to "react" and that makes them frustrated and angry even though this is actually how our brains are set up so we avoid things that can be dangerous and a threat. Most of society has the ongoing opinion that all that we do or how we can react is based on conscious decisions when in reality that is simply NOT the case, especially when someone had experienced "trauma" that impacted them to the point where they developed PTSD.

It's helpful to learn about this so you don't end up going this self blaming route, it's also helpful to work with a therapist that can help you develop skills so that you can gradually reduce and manage these sensitive boundary challenges. Also, it can be helpful if your family is made aware of this sensitivity so they can be more supportive verses picking on you about something that is a very "real" challenge. Healing comes from a person gradually regaining their personal sense of control to where that person begins to rebuild their "own" personal sense of safety and personal awareness of what bothers them and what to work on where they slowly develop a kind of extra switch that can override this challenging sensitivity that can be very frustrating.

I often know how ridiculous I’m being when I’m anxious or depressed but I just can’t stop.