[vafhj]

That's when they're hurtful. Thinking of the insults that people have hurled at me, when there were no grains of truth in them, they did not hurt all that much, but when there were grains of truth in them, they hurt a lot. Maybe I shouldn't have listened to everything that said insults said, but when well-intentioned people are saying the same things that your haters say but in a more sugarcoated manner, don't you think it's time to change? It's not a coincidence that it was when I was dissatisfied with myself that people agreed with me.

It depends if what they are saying is something you can change, like say for example you can't completely get rid of your mental health issues

[goldiemom]

There are many ways to tell the truth so people dont need to be insulting. Often people react though and it comes out meaner than it should. Sometimes I will make a comment about something i dont like and another person thinks im talking about them when im not. They are just defensive reactive people. And then they respond with the insult aimed to hurt me by including enough truth but twisted truth to hurt and make me question myself. I avoid those people when i can. They can screw me up for weeks without even knowing what they said they are that thoughtless. Always ask a true friend and counsellor before assuming everything criticism is true.

also I can say the same thing as someone else who is well loved and thought to be very together and mentally healthy. But when i say the exact same things im criticized. Thats because many people dont really listen but judge people based on other factors like tone of voice, demeanor, appearance, and status in life like wealth and friends.

I have been known to be too honest or blunt but that is because Im autistic spectrum. I just dont have the brainspace for that kind of thinking like the sugarcoating. Im working on it though.

The fact you are thinking about their comments and considering change is a good thing. Thats not saying the change others want is good. I dont know. Im often in the same situation. I can totally relate.