So I go to DBT therapy group and it doesn’t seem to be I don’t know working or flowing well. I need advice is this normal for this to happen to DBT group or therapy group in general.
So what happened was I was at group therapy. I go to group therapy and individual therapy because that is part of the program for this type of therapy. Group therapy is 2 hours long 😣 too.
Anyway what happened was I was explaining some thing and this one girl who has eating disorder jumped in and went on and on about her situation. Then once she was done well she was still going around circles , it ended and then someone else had there turn.
Then I asked the therapist what this word meant since he said the word and then he said to everyone “translator please”
I felt so ashamed because I didn’t knew what the word meant. I told my partner and my mum they thought that therapist was mean and uncalled for.
Gosh after that one the therapist ask for a example from us that he could help us on. So I mentioned what do you do say for example I said my mum is always looking on her phone and when you try to talk to her, she ignores you so you have to call her name. Then he said how phones are design to be addictive and how there was this article he read. I was thinking 🤔 oh yeah I read article about that too.
Then suddenly the girl beside me just jumped in my conversation and said “well, my step mum told my sister and I we stop using our phones because we are addicted to them. I will use my phone because someone will reply to me and I’m anxious so I have to fiddle with something “ after that happened she said to me “sorry I jumped in” I’m feeling pisst and this other girl in the group had her turn.

[mote.of.soul]

Hi. I've attended quite a number of group therapy sessions in general - not DBT though - but I'd have to say, yes, usually at some stage during the session the group facilitator will allow people to talk, release what's in their minds, or ask questions etc. If people begin to 'cross talk' or jump in at random, it may seem a bit chaotic or disorganized but it's probably quite difficult for the facilitator to control every aspect. But on the whole I'd say it is quite normal yes, but if it's happening throughout the entire session, I wouldn't say that was normal, no. The group facilitator tries to make sure things run smoothly.

[downandlonely]

Yeah, it depends on the facilitator. It doesn't sound abnormal to me though. I prefer group therapy to individual, because I feel like people who are going through similar things understand me better than a therapist. But I know group isn't for everyone.

[WishfulThinker66]

This is the fault of the moderator.

A good moderator will be able to control conversation and steer it back to the main topic or issue at hand. They will be able to quiet interruptions and be both supportive and encouraging that the person whose turn it is has their right and allotted time to talk. They will be a role model of appropriate behavior expected in a group format and discussion. They will step into and discourage interruptions making it clear the person whose turn it is has attention of others in the group. They will also make it clear the format of the meeting, including rules and expectations. This all is difficult to do and takes a skilled individual to make it work.

At my group the rules are read out prior to each meeting. Attendees must agree to the rules before they can participate.

One of the rules we have is that there is absolutely no commenting on what a person is saying during their turn unless specific permission and invitation has been granted to do so. If the moderator feels that the other person/people are going off topic or taking over they are cut off and invited to share their own stories at the end.

My suggestion is to talk privately to the moderator and express the difficulties you are having. I suspect your moderator is less experienced at the job of doing so. Please keep in mind that they may have their own anxieties limiting their ability to take better control of the situation. They themselves might then require their own encouragement. Regardless though, they need to learn to show by example the way to respect each individual participating.

Good luck.

[eskielover]

My DBT group met for 3 hours a week for 2 years

Very different from the "x...anonomous" meetings that don't alliw cross talk.

I found it worked well but then our T group leader was outstanding. She started the session teaching. Then opened it up for each if us to go over diary cards & to talk IN GENERAL DBT terms about what we experienced over the past week. We ALL struggled doing that & it was quite normal for new people joining in & even those of us who were there longer to say things the way we knew how & ask her to out it in DBT terminology. That was how we all learned.

There were times when we would weigh in to what someone was talking about with either a DBT question or DBT skill thought about it. But she never let us turn someone elses turn into a conversation about us while ut was someone elses turn. That is poor facilitating skills & really should be commented on in private so the facilitator cal look into working on his technique. Not something I would bring up in group though...better expressed in private.

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

This is the fault of the moderator.

A good moderator will be able to control conversation and steer it back to the main topic or issue at hand. They will be able to quiet interruptions and be both supportive and encouraging that the person whose turn it is has their right and allotted time to talk. They will be a role model of appropriate behavior expected in a group format and discussion. They will step into and discourage interruptions making it clear the person whose turn it is has attention of others in the group. They will also make it clear the format of the meeting, including rules and expectations. This all is difficult to do and takes a skilled individual to make it work.

At my group the rules are read out prior to each meeting. Attendees must agree to the rules before they can participate.

One of the rules we have is that there is absolutely no commenting on what a person is saying during their turn unless specific permission and invitation has been granted to do so. If the moderator feels that the other person/people are going off topic or taking over they are cut off and invited to share their own stories at the end.

My suggestion is to talk privately to the moderator and express the difficulties you are having. I suspect your moderator is less experienced at the job of doing so. Please keep in mind that they may have their own anxieties limiting their ability to take better control of the situation. They themselves might then require their own encouragement. Regardless though, they need to learn to show by example the way to respect each individual participating.

Good luck.

Thank you. I didn’t felt what the one therapist said “translator plesase” because I didn’t know what the word meant was approatied.

[WishfulThinker66]

Originally Posted by TeaFruit

Thank you. I didn’t felt what the one therapist said “translator plesase” because I didn’t know what the word meant was approatied.

That kind of comment was entirely uncalled for. Rude, disrespectful, and belittling. Is there someone more senior to them (a supervising professional perhaps) you can approach?

In my group, the moderators come from the group of peers itself; but, they are given clear guidelines on how to proceed. Present at the meetings are several psychiatric nurses who are there only to observe. The most I have seen them do is hep a moderator regain control of a discussion.(thankfully they are not there to comment on or critically assess the participants).

Can you tell us, as I am curious, how your group operates? Is the discussion portion peer led or led by a professional? In what way does the Therapist participate? Are they an overseer? Are you encouraged to speak or do you find it intimidating?

[eskielover]

Usually DBT groups are led by a T who teaches the skills, goes around to each person who is given a chance to say how their week has gone in terms of using the DBT skills they have learned. There can be discussion by the group regarding the skills & sometimes how others have handled a similar situation. Mostly it is all guided & moderated by the T themselves.

No actual personal therapy is done in the group. Things are talked about in a more general way when discussing topics though personal thoughts do get in there at times but it is all supportive. No criticism.....but that doesn't mean there are no suggestions.

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

That kind of comment was entirely uncalled for. Rude, disrespectful, and belittling. Is there someone more senior to them (a supervising professional perhaps) you can approach?

In my group, the moderators come from the group of peers itself; but, they are given clear guidelines on how to proceed. Present at the meetings are several psychiatric nurses who are there only to observe. The most I have seen them do is hep a moderator regain control of a discussion.(thankfully they are not there to comment on or critically assess the participants).

Can you tell us, as I am curious, how your group operates? Is the discussion portion peer led or led by a professional? In what way does the Therapist participate? Are they an overseer? Are you encouraged to speak or do you find it intimidating?

I guess I can tell my individual therapist.
I have before about the interpretations and they told me how her other clients that go there to the same DBT group experience this too.

Sure, so the group operates like this.
First everyone is sitting around a table and they say how they feel with a emotion. So say bob says I feel anxious and stress today or someone else say I feel numb. Some times well I notice two of them would go off on a tangent when they how they feel into what happened that week.
Then we do mindfulness lead by one of the therapist.
Then we do dairy cards and we go around a circle what we have done but it seems that has stop and so they only let someone speak if they want, so you get away with not doing the dairy cards really.
Then that’s when one of them will cut the other one and start talking and they go on and on about a skill they did and how it didn’t work Andrew they think what they doing is more effective, you give them advice but they ignore you and then they go saying the same story again. This can go for half an hour or 15 mins. We go over home work too.
Then we have a 10 min break and then we do what skill we learning that day.
We are given sheets and we don’t go through the whole sheet. So you can get away with not reading it if you wanted to. They have this discussion about it and the therapist writing stuff on the board. No one really response and if you do then they say I will pick one of you to speak kinda thing. To me it sounds like a threat. If you do speak then one of them will cut you off.
I domntoice one girl she would just draw small stars on the sheet or dots on the sheet the whole time for 2 hours and doesn’t say anything unles asked.
I find myself drawing as they go off the people talking and switch off because just forever going around circles. I notice since changed of therapist that has happened 2 months ago that I don’t do home work anymore either. I don’t understand when they explain stuff or get it.

[*Laurie*]

I have facilitated a popular NAMI support group for 16 months. I do not allow anyone to "monopolize" group time. Any talented facilitator needs to be absolutely sure that every single group member has a chance to speak by gently, but firmly, telling the "talker" that we need to give everyone a chance to speak, so we need to move on. Each member should feel included and validated.

Please do speak with your therapist about the experience you had.

[WishfulThinker66]

I hope you are able to find the where with all to speak to someone in charge in addition to your therapist. I realise this can be intimidating and perhaps this is where the help from your therapist might come in useful.

Incidentally, the more I re-read your original post the more I convince myself that what was said to you is an example of harassment. It does not matter whether the individual intended to make you feel bad or not. The definition of harassment is that which was said or done that the perpetrator OUGHT to have known would be distressing was acted out or said anyway. The interpretation that harassment exists is thus in the hands of the individual who believes they are experiencing it.

The short version? If you feel harassed then by definition you have been harassed.