why do I have Distorted body image

so Im 16 and male and I apparently have DBI my parents say Im getting pretty thin but I don't see it I still think im fat, I dont eat much I'm not Anorexic I have like 700-1100 cals a day when I take a pic of myself I see myself fat and when I see myself Im fat. I really hate being touched because I feel so fat, and like ppl will think I'm gross. But my parents continue to touch my arm or hug me etc it just makes me really uncomfortable and upset. I've been on this low cal diet for like 5 months and some exercise a day of course but I just can't lose anymore weight it won't go im a 30-inch waist Canadian now but my goal is a 28

Do you currently have a therapist that specializes in body dysmorphia? Or do you belong to a support group?
Wouldn't your 30 waste be result of bone structure going from a child's size to adult male? Even at that a 30 is small stature.

I'm so sorry you're struggling, codym Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. I think you definitely need to work on this issue as it may get dangerous for your own health. Please don't give up. Sending many hugs to you

Hello codym: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

Since you're 16, you may be interested in checking out the Teens' Lounge here on PC (no adults allowed!) It doesn't seem to be one of the more active forums at the moment. But it may be worth taking a look at none-the-less. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/teens-lounge/

And then here are links to 2 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that offer tips for coping with body image & eating issues:

Overwhelmed with Your Eating or Body Issues? Take Small, Tiny Steps

7 Tiny Tips to Improve Your Body Image and Eating Issues

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Hi Codym. I am so sorry that you are feeling "fat." How do you feel about yourself apart from your body? Do you value yourself? Is your inner self-talk (aside from the "fat" comment) mostly positive or negative? How do you feel about others and how they respond to you? Do you feel connected and safe and well? You mentioned a concern that people will perceive you as "gross." Did someone say that to you? Do you know why you are worried about that? When I have an uncomfortable thought or feeling, I try to investigate the 'why' so that I can figure out whether I truly need to address that thought or just let it roll off me.

With regard to your physical health, do you believe that it is most important for your body to be a certain size...or do you also value nutritious foods, hydration, exercise, gratitude to your body for being there for you every day and night...helping you to see and hear and feel etc? Just a few ideas for you to ponder over. For me, provided my weight falls within a medically safe range, I do not perceive my wellness as related to my body's shape or size. I focus on my nutrition and sleep etc.

I think perhaps sometimes people project negative feelings about their *self onto their body...if that makes sense. You may be interested to read about Inner Child theory. Did you know that depression can lead a person to feel "ugly" or "fat?" Of course I am not a doctor and am not trying to diagnose here. I do not know you and have no idea if you are depressed. Just something to think about.

It seems that perhaps your sense of self-worth is currently conflated with the size of your waist. I would recommend talking to a therapist about your feelings and goals for your body. 16 is a great age to be thinking through these thoughts you have mentioned. I wish you peace and positive energy. Good luck!

Counting calories at such a young age whilst you are still growing is a concern, unless you are under medical supervised weight loss. I would steer clear of quick weight loss programs....they are a temporary fix and deplete ones body of essential nutrients. I recommend you have a frank and real conversation with your doctor...he/she will check your BMI (Body Mass Index) to reassure you that your weight is at a healthy level or not. Don't mean to alarm you...but excessive unmonitored weight loss can negatively effect your teeth,muscles, hair, skin and internal organs longterm. Get busy being active and engaged socially whilst eating a varied healthy diet...your body including your skin, hair, teeth and self esteem will reap the benifits.

I am sorry to hear about your struggle. It is very real. But I have some grave concerns. At the age of puberty you should be eating extra calories not reducing them.

Here are the standards:

For teenage male, you should be consuming 2500-3000 calories per day.
For weight loss, you should be consuming no less than 2000 calories perday.
A healthy weight loss should be on average of 1lb per week.

As you are consuming less than this and appear desperate to lose more than a one pound per week in addition to what I think may be over exercising there then is a very real concern that you in fact are anorexic.

I suggest you get yourself to your family doctor. They can confirm for you that you are either on a correct course or have a problem. Either way, they can help you with a healthy diet plan and refer you to therapy (and perhaps psychiatric help) regarding your body image regardless whether you physically have a problem or not. This should set your mind at ease. It will also ease the concern your friends and loved ones are exhibiting.

Maybe you hate being touched & the thought might be if you get very thin they will STOP doing that. A lot of body image issues have much deeper issues underlying them. What people see is usually only the tip of the ice berg that is REALLY bothering you....possible on a subconscious level but is actually the REAL cause of the issue

(long, sorry but lots to say because I care)Just wondering how you are doing? I realise you may have been looking for validation and may be upset that you didn't find a great deal of it. That is because we are concerned for your welfare. We are concerned because we care.

You are a worthwhile person deserving of love and attention. Sometimes though that attention needs to be a harder line of support - even if it gets critical. Support need not be validating. Support can be pointing out something another doesn't quite see. So sometimes it is a more kinder and loving gesture to point that out; no matter if the response might be painful. Supportive criticism is necessary at times. I feel strongly this is one of those and hence my critical concern. I really don't see an easier way to show it to you.

Please realise that if you didn't matter, if you weren't worth it, no one would be pointing out you might be unrealistic regarding this weight thing. We would simply read your post and move on. The fact however it has stopped us in our tracks I want you to realise is an indicator of our overpowering need to be of help - because we care. So know we've got your back on this.

I see it highly positive that you have come forward. Even the title of your thread suggests you are aware you have a problem. The fact that you have chosen to turn to such a forum suggests too you are aware this might be an illness. I really commend you for this. It will have taken a great deal of courage. I suggest you stick to that courage and reach out in your real life too.

At 16 you are entitled to make your own health choices without your parents' involvement. It means you can make your own doctor's appointments, etc. I would like to see you do so and make that appointment with your doctor. Reaching out to resources at school is also a way of putting your foot in the door and initiating a plan to assist you. Most high schools have trained guidance counsellors. They can put you in touch with additional resources (ie. most school boards retain psychologists) and also act as a go between you and your parents if that is your desire.

By the way, I would not heed those pictures of yourself you are looking at. I think that most people are disappointed with their photographic images. They are not a true representation of your image. A photo will add 10-15lbs appearancewise. No wonder then why most models are anorexic waifs. It thus is unrealistic to attempt to look like them.

You have a super power - that is you have demonstrated a great deal of ability to control your diet and weight. You might use this ability to make it work for you and gain/maintain something healthier.

I look forward to hearing how this goes and I am sure everyone else here does too.

There are some that will disagree with all that I have said, but when we cut it down to the core I want you to remember that whatever is said, it has been done so because you matter.