My parent fight a lot.....

Do you have a good relationship with your mom & dad?

Maybe when you are totally alone with each of them totally individually you could just ask each one separately "what makes you & mom(dad) fight so much?

At least you would get each of their separate opinions that they are willing to tell you. It also may open up some discussion. At 17.....you are no longer just a child & quite capable of having an adult quality discussion with them.

Lol....I remember wanting to move out of my parents house when I was 13. Looking back I must have realized the stress they were causing me even then.

I graduated high school at 17. Are you going to college? Can you see if you can go away to school & live at the university?

I really don’t feel like to ask my mom about the reason why she is being so angry all the time since she would deny it for sure.

I think my relationship with them is quite good, except when my mom is not in her mood she would sometimes yell at me too. I usually yell back ( and louder ) because as I mentioned earlier I would be very angry if she is being unreasonable again. Well I guess the best way to prevent a yelling turn into a much bigger fight is simply acting like my dad. I guess I still have a lot to learn🧐
And yes I am definitely going to move out to college.

I wouldn't ask why she is angry either. I would just ask why they fight so much & I would ask each separately to see how each one perceives what is going on.....the question would be regarding the fighting not the anger.

Anger is a personal feeling & I would definitely stay away from questioning about that.

Glad you are moving out for college. I didn't have that option & living at home & going to college was a challenge. Even when I worked I couldn't afford to move out & get my degree also & my parents had no money for my college & my dad really didn't want me to go. So I blew them off & went anyway but was stuck living at home & it was in a very small house.

Getting into yelling matches with your mom is only using her way of unhealthy communicating and that's not something you should be engaging in as you may end up practicing that yourself in your own relationships which as you can see when it comes to your parents it's a terrible relationship and their environment is unhealthy. It's important that you make sure you don't see this as what is "normal" in a relationship either. Your parents are not communicating with each other, instead your mother just consistently yells at your father. In all honesty, this has been unhealthy for you in that you honestly don't know what a "healthy" relationship looks like, but instead constantly witnessed an unhealthy one instead.

I am thinking about a note for the refrigerator, "Thanks Mom and Dad, I am getting ready to go out in the world not even knowing what a HEALTHY relationship even looks like. I don't want to be the screamer in a relationship, I also don't want to be the one who gets constantly picked on and screamed at either. As a child it's a terrible envionment to grow up in".

Just beware.....using passive aggressive techniques of communicating is no more healthy than yelling. It is just a different form of unhealthy communication.

Well I think my problem is I just can’t imagine my parents were once in love with each other. From what I can remember, I never saw them hug each other, kiss each other, and don’t even sleep in the same room like my whole life. And therefore, I always wonder if there’s really true love between two different people.
I never been in a relationship before, and i don’t blame it on them bc it might be my problem. Well I guess I have a lot to learn😝

Yeah I know. Thanks a lot, really.🙏🏻🙏🏻

I went my growing up life not knowing what love felt like. Then I got married & still didn't know what love felt like. I was sure it was my problem but always wondered inside if what I felt was ALL there was to feelings in a relationship.

I left my marriage after 33 years & took my special dog with me (& brought 6 more after 6 months) It wasn't until I was away from the dysfunction & really connected with my dog that I started grasping what love felt like. From there, I felt like I could connect to people. I love the friends that I have made here. I am not in any romantic relationship because I wasn't divorced until last year due to financial issues) & I really needed to heal & to find out whether the not feeling emotional connections with others was me or those I had lived with all my life.

It was quite an enlightening experience to find out the issues weren't mine afterall but the people I lived around. Don't sell yourself short at your young age. You still have time to learn what love feels like...it took me 54 years to finally get there. You can get there too

Yeah you are right😁 thanks a lot