Getting a sense of urgency

Have you known in the back of your mind that you neede to do something, but couldn’t get yourself to do it? Did you eventually over come this? If so how?

I didn't file taxes one year because I just could not get myself to move. Finally I gritted my teeth and forced myself to do it through sheer will power and a bribe. I promised myself a big treat for getting it done.

I did exactly the same thing last year! I was over a month late. I need to finish a certification so I can get back to full time work again, but I, I just can’t.

All of the time.

About everything.

From work stuff to home stuff.

I can't do the simplest of things sometimes.

I often question myself - am I being lazy? But it's not that I can't be bothered to do them. I want to do them. It's like there is some physical stopping me deep inside my chest.

Yeah, like frozen in the fight/flight of anxiety but without fight/flight just frozen.
Setting timers, marking calendars, baby steps.
Have you ever been treated for depression or anxiety?
It does feel more physical than some sort of unwillingness. I know that I'm far from lazy-I look at my work and home energy in between whatever this is/can be.
It happens more when I'm dealing with emotional pain that I'm trying to theoretically run from or stuff down. So, though I know my anxiety well enough I know this is usually a depression symptom.

I never thought anyone else could understand how I feel. No one else has ever understood this no matter how I've tried to explain it.

It is exactly that. Frozen.

It is emotional pain I am...hiding from I guess....I know it's there but I don't know how to change it so I just bury it. But I think it causes a void that I try & fill with other things sometimes like exercise or getting too involved in other people's lives. Distraction perhaps? But inevitably it leaves me feeling empty. & like there is actually a gaping hole in my body.

Thank you Healing4me for understanding me,

Thank you Annoyedgrunt 84 for this thread I'm sorry if I've butted in on you. I just...it just meant a lot to be understood.

& sorry I've been treated in the past for depression, my anxiety has never been treated & I am depressed again I think but some days I feel better & then think it feels like I made the depressed days or hours up so I've never been back to my GP. Though I do have an app in a couple of weeks time because the lows are getting lower even though they are not necessarily lasting longer than a few days at a time.

Thank you again.

I call it "catastrophic procrastination". Its like I know the consequences of leaving something major to the last minute but for the life of me I cant figure out why I go to such lengths to avoid it only to face crunch time and stress close to the end.

You’re not butting in at all this is exactly why I created this thread.