Laziness/entitlement

I resent having to look for a job right now. It's so stressful and I don't know what say. Plus why do i have to give my time to someone just to be offered enough to barely survive on and maybe a couple days a week to do what I want...if that. There I said it I think maybe I do have an entitled mentality but it's my life it's my time and I don't get anymore I'm so tired of everyone else having control of what I do with my time. I'm so tired. I feel like admitting you don't want a job is tantamount to admitting to a murder in the US at least, maybe it's better abroad, I don't know. I'm probably just not talented or ambitious enough to live life on my terms in the way I want, or maybe I'm just stubborn.

Is it the fact that you have to work at all, or the fact that you have to work in a field you don't enjoy? There's a big difference between these two.

Working in a field that does not mesh well with your strengths and desires can be very soul-sucking. For example, I cannot work in the restaurant industry anymore because it is far too fast-paced and stressful. I decided to go to school to get involved in a field I am passionate about, and will be graduating soon. Perhaps it's just a matter of finding out where you -want- to work? What interests do you have, what are you passionate about?

Quote:

Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84 I resent having to look for a job right now. It's so stressful and I don't know what say. Plus why do i have to give my time to someone just to be offered enough to barely survive on and maybe a couple days a week to do what I want...if that. There I said it I think maybe I do have an entitled mentality but it's my life it's my time and I don't get anymore I'm so tired of everyone else having control of what I do with my time. I'm so tired. I feel like admitting you don't want a job is tantamount to admitting to a murder in the US at least, maybe it's better abroad, I don't know. I'm probably just not talented or ambitious enough to live life on my terms in the way I want, or maybe I'm just stubborn.

If you don’t want to job you shouldn’t feel bad about not having one. But if you need money to survive you were going to have to take a job even if you don’t like it that much. Don’t be so hard on yourself and keep your chin up.

Yes, work sucks. I have been working since I was 16 and I only enjoyed one job. I moved so I had to quit. But, that's life. My current job is the worst sewer I have ever worked in. But, if I want things, I have to work. Period. My house is getting close to paid off. Yay, me.

I have a very strong viewpoint on this which I have been given grief for stating before; but, I can't help but weigh in on this.

It really depends on your living circumstances.

I have to ask then in what manner you are cared for and in what ways you contribute? Do you pay rent and for food, utilities, etc? If you are not working are you on assistance or do you depend on others' kindness? In what ways then are you self-sufficient?

MedusaX is right. Working tends to suck, but it's what most of us in this world have to do to live and pay for the things we need or want.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I often can’t sleep due to stressing about work. I think maybe I am afraid I’m spending my life at a job I’m not supposed to be at, or I feel incompetent at.

I don’t know probably just the rantings of my sleep deprived brain.

This is a very good question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 I have a very strong viewpoint on this which I have been given grief for stating before; but, I can't help but weigh in on this. It really depends on your living circumstances. I have to ask then in what manner you are cared for and in what ways you contribute? Do you pay rent and for food, utilities, etc? If you are not working are you on assistance or do you depend on others' kindness? In what ways then are you self-sufficient?

I completely understand what you’re saying, although ( without sounding offensive) your statement comes off a bit aggressive. But i totally get it! My perspective may be based off of more fear than disgust, i fear becoming another sheep. I fear the template of “ school, work, death”... seems to be the inevitable path for many citizens and I absolutely hate it. Doesn’t matter if you’re waiting staff or in management. You’re literally working yourself to death for people who only see you as a number. As a number who provides a service. And forget about exploring a talent or skill, people dont even want o do the basic things in life like have kids or hell take a vacation because of the time money and energy it takes to get back on track... it’s sad... I don’t mind working, but id like some level of control in what or when I do something so i dont feel as though im only conforming to survive but also when things get unbearable i can step away and not suffer because of it... that’s just me...

Hello annoyedgrunt. Sorry you're struggling. I don't think you've said or done anything wrong here. You feel how you feel, right? There are no wrong feelings. As I read a few more of your posts on the thread, I thought you sounded very depressed. Is depression something you are diagnosed with? New? Long-term? Hard to perceive value or joy in anything, work or otherwise, when we feel depressed.

I heard a yogi say that the difference between heaven and hell is whether we are doing something willingly. Perhaps if you could find work that you feel willing to do, something you value, you'd feel better about it?

I can relate to what you said about feeling that someone else owns your time or dictates your schedule. I'd love to meet the person who decided that we all have to work at least 40 hours and 5 days on, 2 days off. I personally have been a workaholic for many years and I have recently been thinking of how to change my life. Work is only one piece. And honestly, my work (though valued by society as helping others) never brought me any real personal happiness or fulfillment so I think I need to make changes. I would at least like to reduce to 4 days on and 3 days off though that may not be possible.

In Japan there are many adults literally working themselves to death. They even have a word for it now: Karōshi (過労死). They work such long hours that their bodies can no longer survive. I watched a documentary about it. Very disturbing.

Your point about the U.S. is well made. I think a lot of people assume that if someone is not working, that's a reflection of their character somehow. There are all sorts of reasons why people don't work or don't want to work. We cannot know what is in another person's mind or soul....nor is it our right to find out. I think we should each keep our eyes on our own yoga mat, so to speak

It is no surprise to me that someone who sounds very depressed is not excited about the prospect of a job. I've lived with chronic depression since childhood. I have dragged myself to work for years. That is exhausting and can be very disheartening.

I hope you can find something which brings you peace or joy. You deserve it.

I am reading this again and really have the impression you do have a sense of entitlement. It sounds like you expect something for nothing - a great deal of it in fact.

I think it a very rare thing indeed for someone to be fortunate enough to be doing something they absolutely love to do without stress or difficult moments. Congratulations to them. I must be doing something wrong.

The point is we have obligations and commitments to adhere to in life. Contributing to our lifestyle is one of them. If you can't work (I stress "can't") or contribute financially it is then necessary to find other ways to do so. Life isn't free. I don't work. I do have a small income however. I contribute most of that into the household and you can be darned sure that I am always looking for additional ways to do so. It is my obligation. It is part of being an adult. So I cook, clean, make sure the dog is walked and otherwise ensure I am pretty damn busy doing my share. Unless you have some physical limitations preventing you from doing so, you had better be doing your part to 'pay' for your living arrangement.

Hi Annoyedgrunt. You have some very keen observations and I agree with your insights. I'm referring to your OP. Haven't read the rest of the thread. I hope it felt good to blow off a little steam. It's unfortunate and true, what you say, imo, too. I do not see you as entitled. I see someone who sees through the system that is United States capitalism.

I second this question from Ohseedee, because to me there is a big difference too.

I agree with you Ptak. I also do not perceive AnnoyedGrunt as entitled. I hope that was clear from my post! Sometimes I go off on my own little tangents! Haha. Keep sharing and posting if you feel like it AnnoyedGrunt. You have our support here on PC.

The OP could have been blowing off steam. We don't know. They also said that they are stressed out by the idea of work, and afraid. That doesn't sound like entitlement to me. It sounds like...what they just said: stressed and afraid of working. It sounds to me like its stopping the OP in their tracks.

I don't think they're being entitled in the extreme or classic sense. However, I agree with what you said that we should not expect things for free. We do need to work, and help out, and reciprocate, as part of our community, family, etc. In my perspective, that is a concept for some that can easily be forgotten. And there are aspects of work that are just plain not fun. I am learning this as I go, as well. Interesting how many animals do not have to work though. It seems like a human thing to me. If, that is, you think humans are animals, which I personally do. But yeah it may also have to do with how one is brought up. Or just not having parents or parental figures who explained why we need to work or stressed its importance. I've often wondered that myself and I also did not have parents or parental figures who told me why it was important.

I'm disabled. I am afraid to work (I have heard that a lot of people who have been on disability or haven't worked in a long time, find moving towards work scary - it is common) and have trouble showing up to some social things / keeping certain commitments, but I am also addressing these fears and behavioral issues so that I can work in the future, and for various other reasons as well. It is part of my personal recovery plan.

Your comment about animals is interesting Ptak. Perhaps they do work in the sense that they have to go to lengths to hunt their food or to protect their offspring from predators or to survive the elements.

Your personal recovery plan sounds wonderful. I hope it works out for you!

Yes, I came off rather abrupt. As mentioned though this is of something near to me. It is a moot point which rather tends to boil me up. I came across sounding utterly like a bag. However, my opinion hasn't changed.

But I do want to say I have some understanding of your own situation. I too have not been able to have any luck with employment stability. My mood disorder - particularly anxiety - prevents me from sticking with any one job. I do have an income though and thus am able to contribute financially. As mentioned I also contribute in other ways too.

I guess what I was saying previously comes down to the fact that I believe everyone should in someway be earning their keep. Where I could be wrong was my quick assumption that the OP is not doing this.

I love my job but I am pretty tired, my job is stressful and very demanding. So I think after many years of non stop working I feel I kind of wish I could just not work. But as most people I have to pay bills. Plus I enjoy nice things/travel etc. Are you on disability? If not I can’t imagine managing without employment, is someone else supporting you? For most people job is a necessity, not a choice or luxury.

I agree with you about contributing around the house.

My brother is disabled. He has severe OCD and autism. My mom claims he can’t work. He does nothing to contribute at home. He doesn’t help with the yard work, house work, or anything. But my mom will get on me if I’m not doing these things despite the fact I’m working a part time job. I find it really unfair. If he’s not working then I think he should be doing things around the house yet all he does is sit in front of the TV watching the same series. I’ve talked before with my mom about this and she just turns it into a personal attack on me about how I’m not doing enough. She baby’s him and she will not see that he has a problem. It’s just really frustrating.

Or maybe you are just very bored?

I've worked full-time forever but would much rather be a barefooted artist living on a beach.

In todays world, we are subservient to a ruling class, other words we work for a living. This is abnormal and not sustainable. Thus we are subject to control by who we serve. We evolved to be individuals, with distinct personalities. Know and be yourself. In modern times it is all about Control, by the ruling class.

So in this vein I have been reading several news items lately about cell phone service providers supposedly gouging parents for the thousands of dollars worth of fees their teenagers and tweens have been racking up. And I mean thousands. No where in these articles is there even a hint at poor parenting - which there ought to be. Nowhere is it addressed the subject of holding youngsters accountable and responsible for their phone related behaviour. First off, with a $5000+ bill how could the parents have not known? Their child would have been constantly on the phone. How on earth can these people claim to be unaware their child was racking up a sizeable phone bill. But more importantly, why are these parents not holding their children accountable or instilling responsibility.

First off, a cell phone is not a god given right. It is a luxury. We survived without phones attached to the hip so can today's youngsters. Need to reach them at school? There's a landline in the office for that. A cell phone ought to be given when a youngster shows they are deserving of such and has demonstrated responsibility for such. The parent ought to be making themselves aware of the usage - for goodness sakes the activity that would encure a $5000 phone bill ought to have been a tip-off.

Better yet, make these youngsters earn that phone of theirs. Make them get a part-time job to pay for it - that'll teach them to be responsible for it.

I can't stand this sense of entitlement youngsters have; this idea that such things are a right to have without having earned them. This is where it starts. It dumbfounds me that parents give into this.

In my case I don't feel "stressed" in the full sense of the word. I just HATE it and get enraged at what goes on. Like the lazy ones when i am working my butt off.