Inner debate.

You'll have to forgive me if this is confusing, I'm not the most articulate person sometimes.

I began seeing a therapist for ADHD when i went back to college, was treated as a child before. Well she says I have depression, I can maybe agree though with life problems I currently deal with I could argue those are the reasons.

My big confusion/question is that as you would expect she asks questions about my thoughts, feelings, etc. However I really don't like talking about my thoughts or feelings and I do trust her, but still I don't like discussing it with anyone. Only the anonymity of the internet lets me post here.

To get to the point, I worry about what to actually tell her. I do not wish to be put in a hospital or lose any of my rights to weapons. I'm pretty sure something would put me there. I want to keep the trust I have, but I know what would happen if I really talked openly. This is really the only thing remotely close to any kind of human connection I have. I convince myself that I'm not mocked after I leave the office, though I know I am. Just like at work, school, home. I know it happens, but i try to pretend.

Sorry for the wall of text, I rewrote this several times and it always ends up long so I'll leave it as is and hope someone is willing to bear it.

Thank you in advance.

as long as you don't tell her anything so that she thinks you are a danger to yourself or others you shouldn't have to worry about hospitalization. I have told my T some pretty dark things but thoughts are exactly that just thoughts. as long as I have no plan to act on those thoughts I have no worries and neither does she.

Good luck

Thank you for your kind words. I will put some thought into it. Just don't want another person to turn on me.

I can relate, MelodicMelody! I'm always afraid I'm going to be judged for my thoughts as well! I completely agree with what Raindropvampire has already wisely said better than I ever could. As long as you don't tell her about any thoughts that may be actually dangerous for yourself or for others she should accept you for who you are. She's there to help you after all. I'm sure she's heard many dark thoughts over her years of experience. Just be honest with her and I'm SURE you'll be able to work things through in the best way possible for BOTH of you! Keep us updated on your situation and let us know how things turns out for you if you can and want to. We ALL do care about you. THAT'S A PROMISE! Please stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself. Wish you the BEST of luck in BOTH your healing and your life. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and ALL the people you love and who love you!