[radio_flyer]

By George, I think I've got it. All these years I would cringe hearing the words mental illness. Grant it, I too have issues. Anyway, I think it is the compassion of Doc John that turned on the light. His intent is to educate people. Those who have a mental illness and hopefully those who don't have mental illness issues. For people to have a better understanding on both sides. I think he reached me as in a positive way. I have a better understanding now.

What brought all of this on is I think my son may have something going on and I need to somehow encourage him to maybe see a therapist. This is when I fully realized I sometimes have had negative feelings towards mental illness. The stigma, one is nuts, etc.

I don't want my son to slip through the cracks so I want to pass some hints and positive vibes in seeking a therapist. I am not sure, but I sense something isn't "right" with my son. Depression might be the problem. But then I am not a therapist so I really am not sure.

ANYway, Psych Central is a good thing. Thanks Doc John for PC and all your efforts. You are greatly appreciated by many.

((radio_flyer)))) your post made me smile. As we all that is everyone in the world has some kind of issue. Just because its classifed as a mental illness. Does not mean as you said there is anything wrong with the person.((they just need some help))))
Heres praying your son gets all the help he can. Your a good mom

[VickiesPath]

Thinking a little further about it, we treat every other illness below our necks with the knowledge that we are a composite of biological mysteries that only the most learned and dedicated scientists have the ability to treat. The brain is a marvelous and amazing organ, performing incredible tasks millions upon billions of seconds every day. Everything the brain does also has a biological base to it. But to assign a different set of standards to it and judge an illness suffered within the brain with contempt and assign some form of social sigma to it makes no sense whatsoever. It is archaic thinking. The time is completely past due to understand that what goes on in our brains is no different than other biologically based illnesses that show up elsewhere in our bodies, although there are peculiarities that are assigned to each and every individual body system.

[radio_flyer]

(muffy).........There is no doubt that I love my son and care for his well being. If that makes me a good mom, then I qualify. But it is all that stuff inbetween the love and caring that I have failed.

When I should have been "understanding" I was critical. When I should have been quiet, I spouted off. When I thought I was helping, I was making things worse. I've made so many mistakes. And yes, I know all parents make mistakes, so I am not being too hard on myself by saying I've made mistakes..

When I thought I knew the answers I discovered I was wrong. Have to say that I am learning from my son. All of this makes a most usual family. We struggle. We fight. We laugh. We get on each other's nerves. shrugs shoulders........ Being a parent is a hard job. Somebody should hand out "manuals" when folks get married. Manuals on family and raising children. One of those "dummy books" on how to have a good family and how to raise children. Even a "dummy book" on mental illness would be helpful...

[radio_flyer]

Well said Vickie in Phoenix. Have been told I am "hard headed" and it takes me awhile to "get it". And I must say, when I get it, I really do get it.

[Junerain]

Glad you GOT it

Originally Posted by radio_flyer

(muffy).........There is no doubt that I love my son and care for his well being. If that makes me a good mom, then I qualify. But it is all that stuff inbetween the love and caring that I have failed.

When I should have been "understanding" I was critical. When I should have been quiet, I spouted off. When I thought I was helping, I was making things worse. I've made so many mistakes. And yes, I know all parents make mistakes, so I am not being too hard on myself by saying I've made mistakes..

When I thought I knew the answers I discovered I was wrong. Have to say that I am learning from my son. All of this makes a most usual family. We struggle. We fight. We laugh. We get on each other's nerves. shrugs shoulders........ Being a parent is a hard job. Somebody should hand out "manuals" when folks get married. Manuals on family and raising children. One of those "dummy books" on how to have a good family and how to raise children. Even a "dummy book" on mental illness would be helpful...

aww((radio flyer))))))))))))) you brought tears to my eyes. The thing is you see what you need to do now, We all goof. I have many a time with my son. That manul thing would have been so helpful. Still would be.
Keep on learning as thats what makes you a good mom. I know you are one as you would not have just wrote out what you did.
You said (((We struggle. We fight. We laugh. We get on each other's nerves. shrugs shoulders........))))) and i know form your post you love too. You just described a family.
I have posted this many a time before. It can go with any child who is having a hard time and to the parent to know each one is a gift to each other. You were given your son for a reason.
A meeting was held quite far from earth!
It's time again for another birth.
Said the angels to the Lord above.
This child will need much love.
His progress maybe very slow.
Accomplishment he may not show.
And he'll require extra care.
From the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play.
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt.
And he'll be known as handicapped.

So lets be careful where he's sent.
We want his life to be content.
Please , Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for You.

They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play.
But with this child sent from above.
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild.
Is heavens very Special child.

This was written By: Edna Massimilla

[radio_flyer]

(((((((((((((muffy)))))))))))))) ty........ extra hugs for you as have one giant beautiful heart and you are always giving....

[ECHOES]

Instead of hints and positive vibes, what about speaking directly to him?

Tell him you have noticed something amiss. Let him know how much having a therapist can help and how good it feels knowing we have someone to talk about anything and everything and who can help us grow and help us be the person we want to be.

No, we are not our diagnosis. A diagnosis, mostly for insurance purposes, it merely a way to describe how we respond to what we experience.

[radio_flyer]

Talking directly to him would be the approach I'd take. Just every time I try talking to him about anything that is important, he says he doesn't want to talk. Or he says he is busy and can't talk now. Or if I push it, he strikes out in anger and then everyone is upset. His dad said he'd talk to him, but I think his dad doesn't know how or he avoids it or I just don't know what his dad's deal is.

Thing is, he is 29. He is not responsible whatsoever. His responsibilities here to are pay utilities. Which runs and this may be a high figure $350 a month. He doesn't work or even try to find any kind of job. He does fix computers and earns enough to pay the utilities. Just he doesn't pay them until they come knocking at the door to turn off the internet, water or electric. He does absolutely nothing around the house. He won't even take out the trash......He sleeps a lot. Sometimes he is up all night on his computer. I dunno.. He just doesn't do anything. Absolutely nothing.

Anyway, something is wrong. I just don't know what. So I have to be careful how I approach him. I don't know what else to say without writing a book. Other than I have tried every which way, firmly, gently, hints, and out of frustration said everything a parent should never say, just to try to get him to pay utilities each month. He resists every time. So I don't know how I could get him to see a T.

[radio_flyer]

Ha, doesn't that beat all. I just talked to AJ's dad and thought it was Friday. He laughed and said it is Saturday. Guess I've been thinking too much as I lost a day. Rolls eyes at myself... hey, I might "forget" or miss a day, but I am still productive.

ANYWAY, AJ's dad is going to talk to him tomorrow. I suggested he take AJ out of the house and go out to dinner and just talk. Try to find out what is going on with AJ. Suggested he mention for AJ to see a therapist. So we shall see... keeping fingers crossed something good comes out of all of this.....

[radio_flyer]

Would this be a good idea? Maybe I could get AJ to visit Psych Central. Check it out and go to the chats. He is not inhibited, so chats would be easy for him.

But if I suggested this to him, he could read my stuff. I think he has seen my nic before. ANd he'd recognize it and read stuff and know it is me. I don't want that whatsoever. Let alone he'd find my blog. I'd freak if he found my blog. Or read my stuff here... I could delete me, then I'd not have to worry about him finding me. He is more important than me at this point, so deleting me isn't a problem. hmmmmm thinking this place could help him as it helped me............If he says he'd check out PC, I will then delete me. I will wait to see what he might do....

Maybe there is a way I can be "'hidden" from him on PC. Prob is no way to hide me other than delete me. Just thinking out loud. This place has been so helpful to me, thinking it could help AJ.. Might encourage him to reach out and find answers to what might be bothering him. To even seek a therapist on his very own?