Really Dumb Jokes...that crack you up/Hysterical jokes

What do you get if you play a country song backwards?""Your dog, car, house, and wife back."

What's green and stands in a corner? A naughty frog.

A boy asks his granny "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?" Granny: "nevermind the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this?”

Forecast for the weekend(not MY weekend) : mostly drunk, with a chance of hangover.

What's purple and crawls?
A wounded grape.



what's brown and sticky?
a stick!

How do you make a handkerchief dance?Put a little boogie in it.

Q. Why did they monkey fall out of the tree?
A. He was dead.
Q. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
A. He was tied to the monkey.

*Three pieces of string walk into the bar, but the bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve your kind here." Angrily they leave, but outside, one of the strings has an idea. They twist together and tie themselves and reenter the bar.
"Hey," says the bartender. "Aren't you those pieces of string?"
"No, I'm afraid not (a frayed knot)."

What's grey on the inside and clear on the outside?
An elephant in a baggie!

A regular french fry walks into a crowd of waffle fries. One of the waffle fries leans over to him and says to him, "What, you didn't get the memo?"

Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It's rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

Very silly

Dragons in the kitchen!Mike

These are what my hubby used to call "groaners." First you groan, then you laugh.

Run from the dragons granny!! Ruuunnnn

Thanks for sharing those I really needed the smile! THanks again!

Groaners make me giggle uncontrollably if they are really good.

I remember this from many years ago.

What do you get when you cross a sheep, a zebra and a kangaroo?
A striped woolly jumper!!

i'm not even blonde anymore but i don't get the first one.

Thanks, Rainbowzz! I love silly jokes.

Think it's because most country songs are about loosing your wife, your home, your car, your dog....loosing the things you have, so if you play it backwards, then you don't loose them you get them back...lol. Took me awhile to figure that one out too.....& I'm just guessing here too.......I'm not blond either....lol.

Thanks for the groaners too Rainbowzz.....love to have a brain brake like this where I can just let go & laugh after the initial UGGH!!!!

ok. that ones a bit weird then.
What do you call a gymnast in yellow? Banana Split

Some people are so poor that they can't pay attention

Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the lyrics.