[venusss]

So I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Not fully yet, aS I am writting this from internet point... but I am so getting ready. Packing my life in a bag (pretty hard task and seems I have been lying to myself when I said I could live simply. But even to live simply one things). Will try to keep this short and simple, in order not to bore you to death with my summer.

I will be back soon ready to challenge dogmas, snark, be actually nice and cool... and ready to meet the newbies too.

First I have to say that I did not go too sane over the summer as I was afraid. I am not a bit saner than when I left for the world... and my adventures. There was not much chances to do so. I mean one cannot go too sane in group of ten foreigners who play along with my insanity and think my humor about death and destruction is funny... Or could I become all of sudden sane in Albania, which sometimes felt like from another world? Could I go sane in country where - as several Albanians told me - laws are viewed as mere set of recommendations? Or could I became sane in Kosova, in between KFOR cars, memorials to young UCK fighters and air of uncertain future?
You see the answer.

I think I grown more cynical. Somehow more jaded... but hope not too much. I want to preserve my precious idealism. Despite everything.

I gained some experience as a leader... and I hope I did not suck too much. There is still room for improvement, but I proved myself I can be responsible and yadda yadda.

I got definitelly rid of my social anxiety I think. I learned to talk to strangers. Not just to ask them where from is my ferry, train or bus leaving... but also to ask them about their destination... and their world view.

I got terribly disappointed in the non-profit sector... once again. Somebody forgot to explain some people what non-profit means. But I am not ready to give up on non-profit sector or humans yet. Because I believe in planting seeds. I saw by the monument to Enver Hoxha in Tiranë how plants can grow even through concrete. Maybe I can plant a seed of revolution. Or better world. I still believe that this is my role for this life.

I met many people, most of them interesting. Lot of them great, some downright scary, some annoying brats who have been too spoiled by treats of west (or far east if you want). But most of them made me think. And I made them think too. About how money is not all to life although it is pleasant to have it. About how world is not black and white. That maybe women have something to say...

I done lots and lots of thinking on my journeys. When you are on bus, train or ferry for hours and hours, there is nothing else to do. Of course, one can text to friends (I want to apologize to recepients of my sappy texts here), read or listen to music... but most one ends up staring out the window and thinking, thinking, thinking. Of course those thoughts are not always about how life is oh-so-beautiful.

I met many many many lost souls. Apparently Balkans is something like India. You go there when lost. I learned a word "waiting" for period in life when you don't know what the hell to do with yourself. I realized I am not the only one who manically travels the planet looking for purpose. I even met a chick who worked for Big Pharma... before saying **** it and purchasing ticket to Europe and resorting to dwelling in places most cannot locate on map. I hope Balkans could save her soul...

I can add up a new country to my visited countries list. Eventhough many countries do not recognize Kosova as a country. Whatever the status, the experience was intense. Prishtina is new, Prizren is more... picturesque... but all seem to have this heavy and sad atmosphere of country that went through rough time. And along the roads you can see memorials of 20 something freedom fighters (or terrorists, as you wish, doesn't really matter... but before you chose strong terms be grateful if you could spend your early 20s (or your sweet 16 for the matter as one memorial near my hostel had on name of a 16 year old...) in college or finding yourself instead of fighting for your nation... or your survival). And on the roads you will meet the KFOR cars. You know you left the nice part of world when... there is a foreign military presence needed to keep the feeling of that the country is at peace. Kosovars (who mistaken me for Americano) told me Kosova is very safe place... I guess it is safest from the godawful countries... But if you are in Balkans, I recommend visiting Kosova. It is experience one should have.

I visited places of history. The glorious and the downright ugly. I even met few ghosts. I spend few sleepless nights trying to make sense of human life and its purpose. Did not come up with any... but doesn't mean there isn't any. Why would we otherwise bother to stay alive?

I got to visit some of my family. Heard many stories, some of them touching, some of them entertaiming... most of them somehow unimpressive. And apparently, "insanity" runs in my family (I did not confess to my quirks as I don't want to be talked about... too much). Been asked when will I marry. Did not give answer. To question "do you wanna spend the rest of your life travelling to weird places?" (I confessed with my love of eastern europe and balakns), I answered "yes!". (than on my travels I learned that all our families are somehow worried about us not getting married and just wandering around the world aimlessly).

All in all I spend almost month on a road (mostly in Albania, although I was in Italia and Kosova of course as well)... and it was awesome. I spend one week in a resort on Albanian riviera trying to do some good, before taking off... overall it was nice, I met people, I talked to them, I did some research... and Qeparo is beautiful place. I painted peace symbols on bunkers (not that I believed that painting peace symbol on a symbol of war... war that never happened anyways... will make the world errupt in perpetual peace. But maybe somebody sees my painting and it will make them smile. Or even think). And I got to shake my hands with minister of defense of Albania and party on military base (I bet they all love me and Slovak girl two whitest girls on the base (this by no means is showing of our superiority... just merely stating the fact. Albanians don't need 50+ sun screen as we do...) who danced as if they were in a Prague club to Albanian tradtional music... than travelled alone.
I realized there are two sorts of travelers... those who travel in packs and those who travel alone. I prefer to travel alone... it is not lonely. I travel mostly in cities or even resorts, so there are people there. And there are people in cheap, but amazing hostels I stay at. One can exchange information with them about what to see, what to do...


I think overall it was a good summer. There were times I was unhappy and blue, even on my travels (I was perfectly emo in Kosova... I even got asked if I am okay on bus from Prizren to Prishtina... what was I supposed to tell? That I feel blue because of the WORLD and because of that newborn country? ), but that is me... I tend to get very deep. I see darkness even on sunny days.

I think I grown a bit. Changed a bit. Will see. Everything needs to settle down yet.


oh yes... this was a very different I am back note that I planned to. But it was... so very me

[pachyderm]

I will have to look up 'KFOR'.

[Astridetal]

I'm glad to see you back although I'm a newbie and didn't meet you before I think. I hope that despite all the insanity and cynicism you've had a good time nonetheless.

[Omers]

YAY! So glad to have you (almost) back!

[venusss]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

I will have to look up 'KFOR'.

peacekeeping forces in Kosova.

(since I been to Croatia not so long after the war, I am somehow used to spending vacation in countries with international military presence... and yet... it does not evoke peace in me in the least lol).

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

(since I been to Croatia not so long after the war, I am somehow used to spending vacation in countries with international military presence... and yet... it does not evoke peace in me in the least lol).

Take away the force and... what happens?

[venusss]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Take away the force and... what happens?

In my sleepless nights my mind flies often to two places. Middle east and the Balkans. I guess there is not force the world (maybe democratic peace theory would help, but depends if they want to be democratic..) that would keep the region in long lasting peace. Installing NATO forces will not erase centuries of messy relations... the wounds are too deep in Balkans.

(and yet, those who come to Balkans fall in love with it. It is not just the nature I believe... the humans are great there... but they don't form such great nations too often. sadly).


(look, I am not trying to make this overly political. I would appreciate if our Balkan posters would comment here too).

[pachyderm]

Does "democracy" -- rule by the majority -- work if the population is not well-"educated"? Fear can rule majorities, too. It often does. So is it democracy that is a solution, or something else?

[missbelle]

You are so lucky to have had these experiences. I have to admit that I indeed am a tad jealous!!!! Keep wandering and learning and growing!!!

[TheDragon]

So I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Not fully yet, aS I am writting this from internet point... but I am so getting ready. Packing my life in a bag (pretty hard task and seems I have been lying to myself when I said I could live simply. But even to live simply one things). Will try to keep this short and simple, in order not to bore you to death with my summer.

I will be back soon ready to challenge dogmas, snark, be actually nice and cool... and ready to meet the newbies too.

First I have to say that I did not go too sane over the summer as I was afraid. I am not a bit saner than when I left for the world... and my adventures. There was not much chances to do so. I mean one cannot go too sane in group of ten foreigners who play along with my insanity and think my humor about death and destruction is funny... Or could I become all of sudden sane in Albania, which sometimes felt like from another world? Could I go sane in country where - as several Albanians told me - laws are viewed as mere set of recommendations? Or could I became sane in Kosova, in between KFOR cars, memorials to young UCK fighters and air of uncertain future?
You see the answer.

Knowing you for as long as I have, I never once worried about you going "sane" after your trip. I expected you to learn, have fun, and really travel which often plays with self discovery, but going "sane" wasn't even something I considered. You see all this, and it'll leave some kind of impact, but at heart you're a traveller.

I think I grown more cynical. Somehow more jaded... but hope not too much. I want to preserve my precious idealism. Despite everything.

I love you for your idealism. WE all need cynicism and a hard side to stay alive, but we (especially you) need your idealism as a kind of faith to hold onto.

I gained some experience as a leader... and I hope I did not suck too much. There is still room for improvement, but I proved myself I can be responsible and yadda yadda.

We're just lucky everyone lived...:P

I got definitelly rid of my social anxiety I think. I learned to talk to strangers. Not just to ask them where from is my ferry, train or bus leaving... but also to ask them about their destination... and their world view.

I got terribly disappointed in the non-profit sector... once again. Somebody forgot to explain some people what non-profit means. But I am not ready to give up on non-profit sector or humans yet. Because I believe in planting seeds. I saw by the monument to Enver Hoxha in Tiranë how plants can grow even through concrete. Maybe I can plant a seed of revolution. Or better world. I still believe that this is my role for this life.

I know first hand how disheartening it can be with NPOs at times, but so long you realize you can't just completely give up on it. It's not the best but if we really want to contribute, we'll find a way to make use of the flawed system. We both know this will be part of you for good.

I met many people, most of them interesting. Lot of them great, some downright scary, some annoying brats who have been too spoiled by treats of west (or far east if you want). But most of them made me think. And I made them think too. About how money is not all to life although it is pleasant to have it. About how world is not black and white. That maybe women have something to say...

I done lots and lots of thinking on my journeys. When you are on bus, train or ferry for hours and hours, there is nothing else to do. Of course, one can text to friends (I want to apologize to recepients of my sappy texts here), read or listen to music... but most one ends up staring out the window and thinking, thinking, thinking. Of course those thoughts are not always about how life is oh-so-beautiful.

Apology accepted xD. Don't forget planes...but you know I know how that goes. There's something about travel that'll always stick out to the self because while we travel the world on the inside, it opens certain doors inside that lets us revisit ourselves and OUR world again. Waiting to arrive is a unique part of travelling that'll always stick out.

I met many many many lost souls. Apparently Balkans is something like India. You go there when lost. I learned a word "waiting" for period in life when you don't know what the hell to do with yourself. I realized I am not the only one who manically travels the planet looking for purpose. I even met a chick who worked for Big Pharma... before saying **** it and purchasing ticket to Europe and resorting to dwelling in places most cannot locate on map. I hope Balkans could save her soul...

I can add up a new country to my visited countries list. Eventhough many countries do not recognize Kosova as a country. Whatever the status, the experience was intense. Prishtina is new, Prizren is more... picturesque... but all seem to have this heavy and sad atmosphere of country that went through rough time. And along the roads you can see memorials of 20 something freedom fighters (or terrorists, as you wish, doesn't really matter... but before you chose strong terms be grateful if you could spend your early 20s (or your sweet 16 for the matter as one memorial near my hostel had on name of a 16 year old...) in college or finding yourself instead of fighting for your nation... or your survival). And on the roads you will meet the KFOR cars. You know you left the nice part of world when... there is a foreign military presence needed to keep the feeling of that the country is at peace. Kosovars (who mistaken me for Americano) told me Kosova is very safe place... I guess it is safest from the godawful countries... But if you are in Balkans, I recommend visiting Kosova. It is experience one should have.

Out of the Balkans, Kosova is one of the most unique places to me. Kosova and Serbia are the two I'd like to visit. What was that turning point when you realized it stood out to you? Was it as soon as you arrived, or did it only truly hit you once you left? Isn't it interesting how meeting people in those areas makes us relook not only our nation but the world around?

I visited places of history. The glorious and the downright ugly. I even met few ghosts. I spend few sleepless nights trying to make sense of human life and its purpose. Did not come up with any... but doesn't mean there isn't any. Why would we otherwise bother to stay alive?

I got to visit some of my family. Heard many stories, some of them touching, some of them entertaiming... most of them somehow unimpressive. And apparently, "insanity" runs in my family (I did not confess to my quirks as I don't want to be talked about... too much). Been asked when will I marry. Did not give answer. To question "do you wanna spend the rest of your life travelling to weird places?" (I confessed with my love of eastern europe and balakns), I answered "yes!". (than on my travels I learned that all our families are somehow worried about us not getting married and just wandering around the world aimlessly).

All in all I spend almost month on a road (mostly in Albania, although I was in Italia and Kosova of course as well)... and it was awesome. I spend one week in a resort on Albanian riviera trying to do some good, before taking off... overall it was nice, I met people, I talked to them, I did some research... and Qeparo is beautiful place. I painted peace symbols on bunkers (not that I believed that painting peace symbol on a symbol of war... war that never happened anyways... will make the world errupt in perpetual peace. But maybe somebody sees my painting and it will make them smile. Or even think). And I got to shake my hands with minister of defense of Albania and party on military base (I bet they all love me and Slovak girl two whitest girls on the base (this by no means is showing of our superiority... just merely stating the fact. Albanians don't need 50+ sun screen as we do...) who danced as if they were in a Prague club to Albanian tradtional music... than travelled alone.
I realized there are two sorts of travelers... those who travel in packs and those who travel alone. I prefer to travel alone... it is not lonely. I travel mostly in cities or even resorts, so there are people there. And there are people in cheap, but amazing hostels I stay at. One can exchange information with them about what to see, what to do...

I definitely prefer travelling alone. I don't mind having someone with me but travelling is a very personal and introverted experience to me, that gives you a chance to travel as yourself and meet the world. Travelling is never a lonely experience as people will become part of your travels if you so choose to let them. Albania sounded fun and I'm happy you got to go experience it. Yes...I'm jealous.

I think overall it was a good summer. There were times I was unhappy and blue, even on my travels (I was perfectly emo in Kosova... I even got asked if I am okay on bus from Prizren to Prishtina... what was I supposed to tell? That I feel blue because of the WORLD and because of that newborn country? ), but that is me... I tend to get very deep. I see darkness even on sunny days.

Sometimes it's not even the deep...sometimes you just feel. When one truly gets the chance to experience the world, there's a lot to take it and it's often overwhelming.It's one of the best parts of travelling but one of the hardest. It's the world at its best weighing down on your spirit.

I think I grown a bit. Changed a bit. Will see. Everything needs to settle down yet.


oh yes... this was a very different I am back note that I planned to. But it was... so very me

Happy to have you back. Cannot wait to see what new quirks you've picked up and how you've changed and perhaps grown. Maybe it'll be subtle and just that bit more knowing wisdom. Perhaps it'll be profound. Either ways, welcome back.