FUN stories about our kids

ok now I am scared to have kids!! LOL I don't have any but I remember my mom telling me that when me and my sister were young (around age 2 or 3), one day she was cleaning up the house to make it look nice for when my dad came home (he had been away for several months, training in the army)... well she had just finished cleaning everything and apparently me and my sister somehow managed to open a bottle of wine and pour it out all over the kitchen floor. And then we proceeded to dump a whole bunch of flour on top of it. She never took her eyes off us ever again I'll tell ya that! lol... um I do believe her also mentioning that me and my sister also used to like to put random items in the oven while it was preheating (such as tooth paste and our stuffed animals...).. she said one time the tube of tooth paste exploded and the whole house smelled like mint lol We were quite the mischievious team, me and her!

I do now have a 6 year old niece and when she was in her first year of junior kindergarten, she forgot to knock on the class bathroom door and saw a boy who was in there and he hadn't quite finished yet. Being an only child and having no brothers and not even quite 4 years old yet at the time, she came home in awe telling her mom that this boy in her class had such a 'big belly button'! lol.. kids are so funny!.. I once read in one of those 'kids say the darndest things' articles that one mother was asked by her small child at the time why she had such a big belly... and the mom told the child it was because there was a baby growing in it (she was pregnant).. the child looked at her mom and then went on to say 'ooh is there one growing in your butt too?' LOL

My poor kid R. is the source of a lot of funny stories. For those who know, he is autistic, but fairly sociable and sweet tempreered, but he has a knack for doing what comes naturally when no one else would.
The first time he met the spech therapist who was advising his school he was four. She is a rather large lady with a generous bossom, and she wears very low cut shirts. Arou f my son, very bad dressing choice. He came up to her at a home visit and tried to climb on her lap. Flattered, she helped him up, and ten it happened. He gave her chest one look, turned and thrust his whole arm to the elbow down the front of the shirt. Seeing as he had gotten a hold of her bra, we had a debil of a time getting him out of there too. Not to mention trying not to laugh! I don't think she was as amused as I was, and hubby locked himself in the bathroom...
Another time, it was summer, and the countryside was full of peepers, tiny frogs that were hopping all over the place. Well, brilliant as I am, I picked one up and went to show R. He was fascinated for a whole five seconds before he suddenly snatched it from me and plopped it into his mouth. I screeched and pried his mouth open to find the little fellow sitting on his tongue in shock, plucked it out and set it free. Thank God, R. hadn't decided to chew!

OMG these stories are great!! Just what I needed this morning.

When my sis and I were little, she just a toddler, my dad was in the army, and apparently she liked to pretend she was a dog back then. Well, my mom was preparing to have my dads boss over with his wife for dinner one night, and my sister decided to greet them by barking on all fours and biting at the mans ankles, lol. I've heard that one a hundred times.

I've heard this next one a bunch of times, too. But it's about me. Apparently when I was around 2 my mom went to the bank with me and her very shy friend. Her friend was holding my hand and I guess I didn't like it (and was a very dramatic child) and so I yelled, "Ouch. You're going to break my hand!" and my mom's friend just handed me to my mom and walked out of the bank mortified. Poor woman, lol

Another cute recent development of my almost 8 month son : He's not too keen on being on his stomach so he's really not making much of an effort to crawl. However, he has discovered that if he just rolls over, and over, and over, that he can get wherever he wants in record time. Which is quite a sight to see. I think he moves faster than most babies at this age could crawl. He's just like his mom, can't do anything the "normal" way.

I don't remember this but have been told the story with great disgust. When I was about 2 or so, I collected a huge bowl from the kitchen and filled it with as many garden snails that I could find. And ate the lot!

Oh, but it's a delicacy, Sabrina! You were a child of sophisticated taste!

Maybe that is why I enjoy Escargot today

One time when my youngest was 2 she came walking into the room sucking on something - it was a big chunk of stewing meat I had defrosting on the counter.

Today hubby bought some Easter eggs from the supermarket ......

The children come in from school and he says to them hey its Easter you can eat your eggs , they look at each other knowing its not Easter and wondering if they should tell him the truth or not hmmm a dilemma lol. They want the eggs but daddy has it wrong what to do what to do.....

Quick as a flash my nine year old says hey dad thanks ! Grabs hers and runs lmao. The ten year old looks a bit sheepishly at his says thank you daddy takes his and walks off. The twelve year old says dad you know its not Easter don't you ? Sure it is says dad so the twelve year old now feels better .... Well he TRIED to tell him didnt he lmao.

Then scoffs his one too.

Hubby loves to play tricks on the kids.

One time our then seven year old daughter came down in the morning the last one getting up, she came in the room and was still half asleep she was yawning away as she walked in the room and hubbys started to sing out loud ..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ! She opened her mouth and eyes really wide and said ..... Oh wow is it wow this is a good day ! When we all told her the truth she cried. lol.

Another time it was our sons tenth birthday and he really wanted a Nintendo DS, he opened his present which was one little one and in it was a Nintendo Game just the game not the Nintendo, hubby said Josh sorry mate couldn't get you the Nintendo but thought you would like a game to play on one of your mates Nintendo DS's, poor Josh's face was a picture then of course he started to cry ! I hit hubby and gave him his Nintendo DS.

I have to live with this man lmao.

Seems sort of mean........ but I am sure he meant well.

This has been told to me by my mom, as I have absolutely no recolections of these, whatsoever...

I'm #6 in the line of 10 kids with 5 older brothers, (first girl born in several generations), anyway....
When I was at the age of my potty training years, apparently, I used to stand at the toilet and allow the trickle down legs and onto floor, upset over the fact that I was unable to direct the flow as my older brothers could....(guess, it took me a while to get the hang of being different).

Every year during the holidays, mom always made home made pies. Seldom was she successful at making crust which held together. Out of frustration, she'd always result with her "colorful" expressive language as she tossed her failing crust about in the kitchen.
The year came when I was old enough to assist mom with the makings of the pies, (no idea how old I was then).
Eager to help, we proceeded with the required steps of making the pies. Apparently, I thought the best part was the crust...as mom told me that I would ask over and over..."Is this when I get to swear?"

I reluctantly have to admit that I do, somewhat, recall this episode....
One year my mom's mother came down for a visit, (It was one of only 2 visits, as my mom and her mother didn't get along well at all. Gma was a pathological liar. Mean woman).
Anyway..one time mom had left for her grocery shopping adventure (was the only time mom got her time away from us kids). Gma was left to watch over us.
My younger brother (by 1 year) and I were out front playing on the street (was a dead end street...safe for children to play...no traffic). During our play, brother and I discover ABC (already been chewed) gum, aged and well worked into the pavement of the street. We carefully work the gum out of the pavement, pick out the bits of fragmented gravel, and begin to fight over who gets the gum...Omg..lol.
Gma hears us outside, fighting. She comes out and discovers what we were fighting over. Disgusted by our behavior, she escorts us both inside by the lobe of our ears, places us at the dinner table, demands that we remain seated and proceeds to remove 2 dinner plates from the cupboard. Then, strolls outside.
Brother and I don't dare move, as we were scared to death of this bright red-headed old Irish woman we hardly even knew.
She returns, holding 2 plates full of dirt. She sets one plate each in front of us and in her demanding tone, insists that since we "love to eat dirt off the street, then we won't mind eating this serving"...and we cannot leave the table until the plate is clean.

I faintly remember the outcome to this story. Brother and I sat at the table for what seemed to be an eternity. Surely, neither of us had any intentiions of eating a plate of dirt. Once Gma left dining area, brother and I wedged open screen on window and dumped out dirt. Upon her return, there we were, sitting in front of empty, yet rather dusty plates...lol.

Shangrala

"Babyrutabutterfinger,"
When my daughter was preschool, she said she wanted a "Babyrutabutterfinger," and I told her that was actually TWO different candy bars: a Baby Ruth, and a Butterfinger. She got mad, LOL!
She also combined hushpuppy and marshmallow into "hushpamellow."

I absolutey LOVE these stories. Your hubby sounds like a great dad. (Reminds me alot of my own...playful and young-spirited).
Your children are fortunate for such a playfully attentive father.
(And you get to have yet another youth to keep in check...LOL....lucky you..lmao).

Side note: At the time of this story, I could not hear well at all.
My daughter was about 10. We had just finished a conversation about wearing bras. We were at Walmart shopping for some clothes, and she said rather loudy "What does prostitute mean?"
I learned well from my mom and said "We can talk about that when we get to the car." My face was blushing faster than ever, wondering where this question was coming from. And why, oh why, in the middle of Walmart.
We get to the car and I ask her where she saw or heard the word prostitute. She corrected me with "Not prostitute. PROSECUTE!" (She saw the word in the changing room)

hehe, that reminds me of when my sister was quite young.. maybe 3 or 4, while singing 'hallelujah' in church one day she kept pronoucing it and singing really loud as 'hally lubia!' lol Everyone started chuckling and saying they thought it was cute cause she was so passionate and loud when she sang lol.

OMG, these last few had me hysterical. The plates full of dirt and the "prosecutes". Absolutely hilarious!!

My daughter is almost 9 and is in tumbling. Last year a few weeks before recital, she had just learned how to come up from her backbend. This was in her tumbling pass, so it was critical that she be able to do it. At dress rehersal, she fell trying to come up. The next night, her teacher was on stage right, and I was on stage left. My daughter went down into her backbend, her teacher and I were both going "Come on *******, you can do it!" and she did!! I don't know, nor do I care, if the audience heard us say "YES!" but ******* did. That has been my favoritest dance memory so far.

When she was around 3, her father and I were outside doing some work. She was inside eating a hotdog so the cats wouldn't take it from her. Her father went in for something and about fell on his backside. She had decided to wash the kitchen floor with dish soap. Thankfully she wasn't able to get to water.

We have also had our fair share of injuries. She was sent flying 5ft by one of our horses when she was 18mths, not a mark on her. She has fallen head first many times without major injuries. She broke her leg (tib/fib) when she was barely a year old. Had a purple cast for 4 weeks, and still tried to sit in boxes. She didn't let the cast stop her from learning how to walk. She has been to the ER at least 5 times for various reasons. I wouldn't change it for anything.

This past winter, she has been a great help to me. I broke my foot on halloween, and she had to help take care of me. She did it without much complaining. I owe her something wonderful for all of her help.

My mom says I was great at snapping up words and learning them by using them, but it could be really problematic at times. When i was four I was sitting at the table while my mom was listening to the news and I heard a word that my folks didn't use around me . I asked my mom what it meant, and after a moment's thought she said "it's a type of attack, dear".
I stored it away in my little black box of language acquisition, and the next day, a neighbor, who had that bad habit of letting her dog poop on our lawn was out there again, gracing our lawn with her pappillon's daily work of art.
I immitatied my mother's grumbling about the dog, and when we got out of the car, I ran to edge of the drive way and dredging the most dire of my four year old vocabulary, gave her the best I had:
"Lady, if you don't get that dog off our lawn, I'm going to come over there and rape it!"
I wondered why she picked it up and ran. I wonder why my mother picker ME up and ran into the house. Well, by mother explained that that wasn't the type of attack that I should be threatening a dog with.
Any way, she claims this happened. I just remember seeing the lady grab the dog and run.

My oldest brothers were very close in age and always daring each other to do strange things. So they came up with a plan, to see if they could lite the one brothers farts and used to brag about the blue flame.

Both of my daugters have attempted to cut their own hair and yes those kids play scissors do cut hair. So when my oldest was 5 she cut a good handful right out of the top, leaving about an inch. This caused her hair to stand straight up, no matter how much gel/spray we used. Several kids at school wondered what happended to her hair and it took 2 months before it laid down flat.

We can't possibly be running out of fun stories, can we?

Here's a recent one. Our little guy is turning 7 in a week. I'm a procrastinator. He doesn't like parties. We have plans to "celebrate" at a local water park the Sat before his bday, then have cupcakes for his classmates on his bday. I was talking it through with him, getting the okay. Then he told me (as expected) that he wants me to tell everyone not to sing Happy Birthday to him (that's a sensory thing that sets him off). I said I'd be sure to do that. Then...he looks at me and says "When I get to be YOUR age, we can sing it."

My age????? rofl.