[englishteacher]

Okay - so my son only eats p-nut butter sandwiches for lunch (with chips, drink, cookies). He doesn't like any other kinds of sandwich, p-nut butter is cheap and healthy, and the school lunches they serve are not fit for human consumption.

Sooooo...I get the school newsletter and it says that some students have a severe allergy to p-nuts, so the school is banning any p-nut products on campus. WHAT???? Can they do that? I certainly feel for the kids that are allergic, but what am I supposed to feed my kid? I guess the needs of a few do outweigh the needs of the many. Since I'm irrationally angry (about everything right now), I want to know if this is even legal? It doesn't seem like they could restrict such things...but who knows. And if I keep sending him p-nut butter sandwiches for lunch, what will happen?

[michele#3]

Hmm... I don't know for sure about the legality of it. I would check with a lawyer on this. To me it seems a little extreme to totally ban all peanut products on campus. Are you sure that they meant that? If your child insn't allergic I don't see what the big fuss should be about him having a peanut butter sandwich in his lunch.

[lynn P.]

Yes I live in Canada ands they've been doing this for years. No peanut butter sandwiches or any product that has peanuts in it. Some children are so allergic, that if they touch a crumb, it will send them into a life threatening reaction. I used to feel annoyed but we got used to it. Some schools do have a 'designated lunchroom' where kids who have peanut butter can eat there. But this could also be a problem, if the child gets it on their clothes and the allergic child touches it, then an allergic reaction happens. Yes it's legal and I think it's helps if we think, if we were the parent of a child like this- how scary it is to send your child to school.

[seeker1950]

Yes, the banning of peanut butter is present in most all schools now. The cooks at our school are not allowed to serve it or even use ingredients which include peanut butter. I have a jar of peanut butter in my desk which I eat for snacks during my break, but next year we will have several students entering the middle school where I work who have the severe allergies to it, and I won't be able to even have a sealed jar in my desk.
I'm sorry for your son.

[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Yes I live in Canada ands they've been doing this for years. No peanut butter sandwiches or any product that has peanuts in it. Some children are so allergic, that if they touch a crumb, it will send them into a life threatening reaction. I used to feel annoyed but we got used to it. Some schools do have a 'designated lunchroom' where kids who have peanut butter can eat there. But this could also be a problem, if the child gets it on their clothes and the allergic child touches it, then an allergic reaction happens. Yes it's legal and I think it's helps if we think, if we were the parent of a child like this- how scary it is to send your child to school.

And, yes, Lynn, the allergies are apparently so bad that even peanut butter breath can cause reactions. Too bad, eh.

[englishteacher]

Yes, I know. I do feel bad for the kids that are allergic. I don't want to cause them problems, but my kid won't eat anything else....

[Fox]

Aww. Maybe you can introduce him to a new kind of sandwich. Also you could ask if sunflower seed butter or soy nut butter is acceptable since they're not tree nuts so likely won't have the severe allergic reaction a number of people have.

It's a pretty common allergen that can be deadly by skin contact in some anaphylactic patients (one of the common allergic reactions I've seen as an EMT and in hospital settings to food allergens). I work in the food service now and we have utensils specifically designated for foods that have any trace of peanuts. We have to completely wash down and sterilize any surface that came into contact with the peanuts to be absolutely certain that none of our non-nut products are safe for people that may have a peanut allergy.

In the cafeteria at a school there's no guarantee that kids won't be touching each other or their food so it's better to be safe. It's a small inconvenience but well worth it if it saves lives in the long run.

[englishteacher]

okay - i give up. no more p-nut butter. I guess he'll have to eat the crappy school lunch.

[Fox]

There's nothing from home that you could make him that he'd eat? I'd imagine if you say that all he'll eat is peanut butter sandwiches then he won't eat the cardboard they call food. :\

[englishteacher]

no, he probably won't eat it. I could send nothing but chips and cookies. He'd eat that. He's very picky. He doesn't like ham, bologna, roast beef, turkey, chicken...so there's no point in sending it, especially when I can't monitor if he's eating or not. If there was a microwave, he'd eat ravioli...but no microwave.

[Fox]

Could you see about getting a small container of sunflower butter and see if he likes that? it doesn't taste the same as peanut butter and takes a bit to get used to but the texture is similar. I haven't tried soybutter but that's the other alternative. I just hate to see the lunch money be wasted if he won't eat the school lunch. Would he eat bread with regular butter or margarine? What about those lunchables? They're not all just meat and crackers.

edit: also you can try googling kid friendly sack lunches and see what turns up there for more ideas. There has to be something that he'll be okay with. {hugs teacher and son if okay}

[sanityseeker]

What about Nutella. Who doesn't like chocolate? It is hazelnut based, delicious and as nutritious as peanut butter. I eat nutella like I eat peanut butter. Love either with banana. yum yum.

[englishteacher]

thanks for all the suggestions. It comes down to this: p-nut butter costs me very little and is nutricious - those alternatives are going to be much more expensive than generic p-nut butter is at $1.40 for two weeks of lunch. Money is a huge problem in my house. Working Middle class on paper - living in poverty due to debt, student loans, underemployment, etc. This little issue just adds to my already stressed out life.

My son is very picky. He only eats certain things, and I won't force him to eat food that makes him gag. Maybe it's a discipline issue, but we have many issues with him. He causes a lot of problems in my house. He argues, he bargains, he fights, he stays in trouble at school because he won't follow directions, won't stop talking when he has something to say no matter what anyone says...etc. He's also extremely bright. At 10 years old, he reads on a 10th grade level. He's extremely loving and sweet and caring. I suspect chemical imbalance, but as I can't even afford to treat myself...I don't get him tested - what's the point? He is not ADD/ADHD - I've had him tested for this. Yet, he can't stand still when he is talking and he will stay up all night if you let him and then not even nap the next day. I do the best I can, but my best is often not good enough.

So the p-nut butter just kind of set me off. I'm sure I'll figure out a solution. I just don't have the energy to deal with it in a rational place right now.

[AAAAA]

I'd contact the school and see what compromise you can come up with. I was unaware that there was a microwave available to the kids, all they had to do was ask, until a friend of mine started working for the school. Ask your son's input. Explain the situation and see if he has any ideas for his lunches, he may surprise you.

It's amazing what's out there in terms of lunch boxes etc. You can put left-overs that taste better heated in a thermo that has been previously warmed with boiling water and at lunch time it's still warm. Not hot, but warm.

[sanityseeker]

I hear you english. One more thing on top of overload. Just what you didn't need especially now. I know you will figure it out somehow. Try to take a break from it for now. I have been through many of the same issues with my son who is now 16. All through school I asked for help but none was provided and still the years ticked away. Like you I did the best I could but it never seemed enough to fix anything. I take some comfort knowing that he knows he is loved and can rely on me to be there for him no matter what. Sadly its more than some kids have going for them even though it is so very important.

Take good care. Somehow it will work out.

englishteacher, maybe there is something here for you and your son: http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/mentalhealth.shtm

Perhaps this is the best place to start with: http://www.mhatexas.org/

Good luck.

[Fox]

I can totally see your situation you're in with this. What do you think about AAAAA's idea of getting your son's input? Also check with his school and see if they can make an exception and have him eat separate from the other kids to avoid "contamination"? Just some thoughts all these suggestions are just ideas to be tossed around.

This is stressful I can see, I hadn't realized you were already going through so many things with your son as it is without this curve ball being thrown at you. Money's a big issue for us too. <3 Please keep in touch with what happens with all this Keeping your son involved with the changes can help but there's no guarantees. We're all here for you guys.

[englishteacher]

thanks guys. I was afraid to see what you would respond to the last post. I couldn't stand it if you all hated me too. So now, I'm sitting here crying because you are all so supportive. Today is the last day before Spring Break, so I have a week to figure it all out. Maybe I'll be in a better place to deal then.

[Sabrina]

Why would we hate you? You are obviously trying to figure this all out so that both you and your son will be happy. It is a tricky one and I hope that you find a solution.

[englishteacher]

You might hate me for being unsupportive of those who are allergic to p-nut butter, or for being a bad mom, or for saying bad things. Maybe not very realistic, but I woke up scared that I would lose this place as well...and then, what's left?

[lynn P.]

This is my second time writing this post -I accidently pressed the wrong key and it disappeared. I would recommend what Sanity Seeker said about trying Nutella -it's ground almonds with cocoa and looks like chocolate spread. You mentioned he likes Ravioli so could you get a thermos and heat that in the morning? Does he like soup?

Would your son be willing to try some new lunches? I realize it's frustrating to have a picky child and I'm wondering if rewarding him to try something new would work? With my girls I always encourage them to try things a few times because sometimes tastes change. I always tell my girls about how my mom used to work so hard to make cabbage rolls. She had 5 kids and wasn't about to cater to individual tastes - so I hated cabbage rolls, but there wasn't anything else for dinner plus she worked hard making them. I hated them but still ate them anyway and eventually my tastes changed and I ended up loving them a lot.

You mentioned you're struggling financially and we are too. I discovered that by switching to discount stores I could save a lot of money. When I shopped at the regular stores I would spend at least $200 - and at the discount store I spend $100 - no kidding!! The quality is even better and I stalk up on sale items. I stay away from prepackaged products and non essentials things like chips etc.

We certainly don't hate you here. Being a parent is the toughest job n the world and dealing with an illness compounds it more. Especially when kids are in school, there's always something going - drives me up the wall sometimes.

[englishteacher]

thanks lynn...I'm trying...but I think I'll put this on hold for a few days - Spring Break, so no need to worry about lunches. Also, I will ask him if he has any solutions.

[lynn P.]

Yes today's the last day of school here too. I think it's a good idea not to worry about it for now. You never know, maybe this will end up being a good thing -to get him out of the narrow box of just peanut butter. I also send my girls cold pizza sometimes. He's even old enough to learn how to make food - not school lunches but on March break - he could experiment with some different lunches and you could watch him make it. My daughter loves it on the weekend, when she makes lunch for me and my youngest.

[englishteacher]

Actually, he makes his own lunch now. It's not hard to put stuff in plastic bags or to make a p-nut butter sandwich. He makes a mess and doesn't clean up after himself very well, but ...really who cares about that? He's a great kid...when he's not being a pain in my behind. lol... gonna go make him a grilled cheese and go to his school picnic right now.

[Beholden]

What does he eat that could go in his lunch.

A cold grilled sandwich sounds good to me right now.

Or cold pizza.

Aldi's grocery has some good deals too. I go there sometimes to see what their bargains are and then go to my other favorites.

You will figure it all out.