Ok, so I'm not sure if this is the right section, but here goes: While I'm mostly happy in my life and in my romatic relationship, I get depressed and down and out with these recurring/neverending thoughts of past friendships I no longer have and I just wish I could find a way for these thoughts to stop. It's really upsetting. Any ideas? I'm on my lunch break, as I work fri-mon, but I'll check back in after 6pm when I'm off. Thanks. =)

Hello, Lab. If the reason these memories remain ensconced in your head is hurt, betrayal and the like, I expect forgiving yourself and the others may be helpful.

Good luck.

yea, I don't know why I thought more than a handful of people would actually respond besides you Byzantine, nobody usually does. =( I'm fine now, just ever so often- more like mourning old friendships that have passed either because of being hurt or because of distance and time.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hey LabLover,

I understand what you are talking about here. I don't see my family any longer, and of all of them the only one I felt sad about was my sister; but she screamed me out of her house because I was warning her about using drugs, and the fact that her partner could end up back in jail because she is a user.

But it is in my head every minute. I can't stop the thoughts and they drive me nuts. Knowing me as I do, it is a way of processing it all as the thoughts move from person to person round and round.

I close my eyes take deep breaths and slowly see them retreating, moving away and as I release the last breath they are gone for a while and I can rest. I hope this methods works for you even if it's only for a while,

Good luck with it,

Rhi

[divided self]

Originally Posted by LabLover23

yea, I don't know why I thought more than a handful of people would actually respond besides you Byzantine, nobody usually does. =( I'm fine now, just ever so often- more like mourning old friendships that have passed either because of being hurt or because of distance and time.

Hello LL23 (I hope that's acceptable: am new here and have a socialphobia, which tends to aggrivate people -so, I apologise now and please know that whatever I say is coming from a good place).
It sounds like you feel a little guilty that, on the one hand, you have a fairly happy, balanced lifestyle compared to others while on the other, you are still suffering and it isn't getting any better with time.
I don't want to sound arrogant, but I'm pretty sure that you have the intellect to work through it. There's a lot more details involved for you to get to this point that aren't described in your message such as how long you have been isolated from your friends and family, before more help/advice can be offered. For instance, a deap-seated problem requires different approaches to something that may be viewed as an issue of personal growth; a neurosis as opposed to a change in perspective.
If you feel confident/comfortable in expressing more about your situation and its history, regardless of how many responses you get, there is still a greater opportunity that the help you are asking for can come forth. If you feel that I may have some value in helping you, I would be happy to; however, if I have over-stepped my boundaries, I apologize and wish you well.
Bon

[divided self]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hey LabLover,

I understand what you are talking about here. I don't see my family any longer, and of all of them the only one I felt sad about was my sister; but she screamed me out of her house because I was warning her about using drugs, and the fact that her partner could end up back in jail because she is a user.

But it is in my head every minute. I can't stop the thoughts and they drive me nuts. Knowing me as I do, it is a way of processing it all as the thoughts move from person to person round and round.

I close my eyes take deep breaths and slowly see them retreating, moving away and as I release the last breath they are gone for a while and I can rest. I hope this methods works for you even if it's only for a while,

Good luck with it,

Rhi

Hi Rhi,
have read another of your posts regarding your unhappiness. Do you mind if I talk to you? I have a social phobia that has been known to cause misunderstandings, so please know that my intentions are good. I would like to ask you to think back to the last time that you felt strong and happy. Just for the next few weeks to try and gain some control over the negativity, every time that you feel the emptiness and regrets coming make your mind go back to that past memory. It doesn't matter how old the memory of when you felt in control is, it could be 5 minutes ago or when you were 5YO.
Obviously, there is a lot of work required, but it's all baby steps. I hope that the above can help you towards making those steps.
Bon (the slow aussie)

As you are aware, mourning is a process that has no time limit. Sometimes, I see a reminder of someone who meant a lot to me in times past. I end up doing a sort of remedial mourning.

Even though these memories are distracting, they also remind me how powerful feelings can be when a connection has been made.

Be well.