Maybe I'm just feeling cranky. But, trigger icon added, just in case other people find these brands of "humor" as offensive as I do.

I browse humor pages sometimes when I'm depressed and want to pick up my spirits. But lately, maybe I'm getting old and out of step. Nowadays....

*If it depicts an evil or cruel act, it's funny.
*If it insults women, minorities, or disabled people, it's funny.
*If it involves sex or certain body parts, it's funny.

I am so sick of jokes where the punch line, stripped down to bare bones, leaves:

"Women should be in the kitchen making 'sammiches,' but nowhere else."
"Women belong in the bedroom performing sexual acts, but nowhere else."
"Women get abused because they deserve it."
"People with disabilities don't have feelings, so it's OK to laugh at them."
"Child abuse, especially pedophilia, is something to laugh at."
"Anyone with a difference is a fair target for abuse."

On one page I reported (thankfully the administrator agreed with me and promptly removed it) a photo of a boy with Down's Syndrome wearing a t-shirt that read, "At least I'm not a (rhymes with trigger)." That's supposed to be funny? At another site, a news story of a mentally retarded child being harshly punished at school for wetting her pants, prompted the peanut-gallery comment, "I don't see the problem. She's a ginger. By rights, she should be beaten daily." THIS is supposed to be funny? I've seen a photo of a woman cowering in the corner, a man standing threateningly over her, with the caption, "Dishes. Do them NOW!" Which garnered the comment, "Right on. She shouldn't have to be told."

And, lately one of my favorite places to go for laughs seems to have been taken over by nothing but photos of things that resemble male body parts. Anatomically correct snow sculptures, inadvertently cast shadows, badly designed products, whatever.

Am I the one who doesn't have a sense of humor?

[Christina86]

You're not alone in your sentiments, there are varying kinds of humour and there seem to be a lot now that are attached to an "ism" (racism, sexism, ableism etc) or that are sexual innuendos.

[Soul Quake]

With the dawn of the internet comes a different kind of humor.

[Yesterdays]

Just because you think something like that is funny doesn't mean that you're a bad person. There's a huge difference between finding jokes about sexism funny and actually finding sexism itself funny, if that makes sense.

[Travelinglady]

I intentionally seek out the humorous sections of PC and try to provide my own humor. The examples you gave wouldn't appeal to me either, although I try to understand that people do vary with what they find humorous. I'm sure I bomb out sometimes, too, in some people's thoughts.

I particularly don't appreciate jokes that make fun of people for things they can't help or that suggest that other people are stupid. I do find them acceptable only if the person who posts them has the same problem or if it is for a group of people who understand what it is to have a similar problem. I don't appreciate most jokes about the mentally ill told by people who aren't that way, for example. Thanks for reminding us all that we need to be careful.

I appreciate the support. Only one thing I don't understand. How can anyone find jokes about sexism (for example) funny, but not condone sexism? That confuses me. It seems to me that the only ones who would laugh at sexism, would be sexists. I've mentioned before that as a victim of child abuse, I find humor about a certain "bear" very offensive. Every time I see that bear, and see people laughing at it, I want to throw up. How can I think that people who find it funny are NOT bad people? Only a very wicked person, in my opinion, would laugh at child abuse. Especially child abuse of *that* nature.

[lonegael]

"Ashes, ashes we all fall down..." <Nothing funny about pandemic death either. But we give it to our children to play with. Look at all the Zombie video games. Sometimes we try to deal with the things we don't understand and that bug us by turning them into jokes, someof them pretty dang tasteless. Economy is bad, people in what were good jobs (building, factory etc) but are actually turn-down sensitive are losing them, and that means a lot of guys aren't earning, but the wives might stilll have the jobs that never paid so well, but are better than nothing.
In most cases, domestic violence goes throught the roof when things get like that. I suspect the jokes are !)a way to try to understand the violence 2) a way to redirect it into humor (if bad humor) instead of flailing with fists. Not great, but a more civilized attempt to deal with the feelings of losing status and control.
By the way, I HATE those things. I'm currently out of work, my project time is up, and I HATE having to depend on someone else's money, even if I do love him. GRRRRRR!

[racee]

I know they can be funny, but i can't stand blond jokes...especially when i have blond hair (wich i dye now because of many reasons) and just because people see me with blond hair they think it would be fun doing this whole string of blond joke...like i'm supposed to relate to it somehow? oh yeah thats right i'm blond so i guess they joke must pertain to me! HA HA never heard that one before

i am all for comedy and freedom of speech, but i'm not sitting in a comedy club when i hear most of the jokes people tell, if i wanted to hear a joke i'd listen to a comedian where i knew what his subject matter about.
sorry, i just hate when people think theyr funny when they are not, or try to say funny things just to fit in but in reality they are not.

[Dark_Dreams]

I too am blond and used to be a bartender and the drunker the patrons got, the more need they had to tell me every dumb blond joke they ever heard (or even try to make up a few). I often laughed because the stereotype amuses me.

I do not believe that disability is funny but I can laugh at certain things. I work with a guy who has one leg. He has a great sense of humor and has never ever let it get to him. I bought him a shirt that said "I am only in it for the parking". He laughed so hard and couldn't wait to wear the darn thing. When he went to get his new license picture and renew his disabled parking permit, he wore the shirt. Made a few people at the DMV uncomfortable but a couple other diabled people in the office loved it. I guess when it comes to that there is a difference. Is someone laughing at them because they are different and deserved to be ridiculed or are they laughing at themselves because they don't take themselves too seriously.

Women who make sexist jokes amuse me because they are making jokes about the stereotypes which they obviously do not adhere to.

[Skully]

I am blonde as well and make blonde jokes all the time. It is all in preception. I do not preceive it to be a personal attack upon myself when a blonde joke is made in my presence...they are usually funny. I know that I am not stupid and besides, if people think I am dumb because I am blonde then that means they won't expect much from me...which is fine with me! The less I have to do the better

[KathyM]

I've been known to laugh at off-color jokes, but I can't laugh at someone else's pain or degradation. Jokes about minorities infuriate me.

Years ago I attended a party. I was talking with a woman I had just met, and we were talking about our children and she asked about my son's looks. Before I could say anything, another woman told her my son is half-black. What followed was a barrage of "N" jokes. I was dumbfounded. They told me to "lighten up." Instead, I got up and walked out.

Another time, I was at a friend's house for Thanksgiving and another couple was present. Not only were we subjected to "N" jokes from this couple, they had a slew of Mexican jokes as well. I did NOT want to cause a scene at the dinner table, so we finished our meal and left - never to return. It broke my heart to see my friend laugh at those jokes with my husband and son present at her table.

Aw, sorry that happens, Kathy. In addition to "lighten up," I also hear "get over yourself." I hate that. Grrrr.

[purple_fins]

I'm with you LovebirdsFlying everything you said, I relate to and very much agree with.
(sorry not much for wording at the moment... I'm trying to get my "pieces" back together from the holidays... *sigh*....).. just wanted you to know that I hear and am listening and can so understand.

fins

[lizardlady]

In Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land a major turning point in the plot comes when the main character realizes that all humor is based on human pain in some form or another.

Humor is such an individual thing. What one person finds funny leaves others cold.

Personally I don't care for humor that makes fun of anyone or any group, but there are exceptions. There is a fall on the floor funny (to me) thread in the borderline PD forum about being borderline. I guess it's funny to me because the folks posting are laughing at themselves, not at some one else.

I personally have a very dark sense of humor. It's a way of maintaining my own mental health given the work I do. My co-workers frequently don't "get" my humor.

That's helpful, LizardLady. And I think it does make a difference who is laughing at what. I've often heard it said, and I've said it too--it's OK to make fat jokes if you're fat, Jewish jokes if you're Jewish, black jokes if you're black, etc., but not if you aren't those things. Laughing at ourselves, and laughing at someone else, are two different actions.

I suppose it's not unlike conversations I've had with my rather intolerant and narrow-minded (sometimes) husband, when he makes fun of gay people. Why is it I'm offended when he does that, and yet if my gay brother said the same thing, I wouldn't be? Because my brother is laughing at himself, but my husband is using humor to (very thinly) mask his contempt.

[Gus1234U]

really, let's be honest, humor has not changed in 10,000 years, just like people,, crude always gets a laugh in sophisticated circles, and sophisticated get a laugh in the plainer sections of town,, men laugh at women, women laugh at men, we are all mean to those of lesser means, whether it's IQ or $$,,,, getting outraged is not half as effective as eschewing the whold process,, find some other place, some other kind of thing, to make you feel better~~~

LizardLady: I'm checking out that borderline pd thread right now. It *is* funny.

[racee]

jokes are funny! but, if people your whole life singled you out because of one ddisability, or charactaristic you have, and still give you a hard time about it this day.....the jokes don't becaome so funny anymore. they get tiresome, and you just want to scream. so while others will say they don't mind about certain jokes some jokes just hit too close to home, for my comfort!

ahh this thread just triggered horrible memories of growing up...i hate when threads do that.

I'm sorry, Racee. I got made fun of a lot too.

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by racee

jokes are funny! but, if people your whole life singled you out because of one ddisability, or charactaristic you have, and still give you a hard time about it this day.....the jokes don't becaome so funny anymore. they get tiresome, and you just want to scream. so while others will say they don't mind about certain jokes some jokes just hit too close to home, for my comfort!

ahh this thread just triggered horrible memories of growing up...i hate when threads do that.

Racee, I'm sorry the thread triggered you. Be safe, OK?

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by LovebirdsFlying

I'm sorry, Racee. I got made fun of a lot too.

Lovebirdsflying, I just noticed your signature line. AMEN! I am a T. Shame on anyone in the profession who does not label abuse for what it is!

That ties in with a comment I wanted to make abot humor. Many people disguise abuse as "humor". It's a form of verbal and emotional abuse. Then when the person takes offense at the "joke" they are told they don't have a sense of humor or, as others said, are told to "get over it." Abuse is abuse, no matter what form it takes.

[lonegael]

I can't claim I'm perfect and I have majorly put my foot in it. But I have also been where I have joked about my own group to have someone decide to make a point (in this case i know the person well enough to know the background) and make a public issue of how I cna't make the joke because it's not my group. Basically, he and my cousin (dad's side) informed me that my mom's side of the family didn't exist (get that one). Sort of the opposite to you, Kathy.
Humor and the rights to it can be used to divide in a lot of different ways. The funny thing is that the joke I told came from a Priest at my old grad school who never made the type of disinction that my cousin's husband did. Rather, he was simply glad that i made no Irish claims based on my dad's family's rather short - darned right hasty - stay in Belfast in the late 1600's enroute from Sutherland to Salem.
Kathy, I have to say that there are people in this world who's idiocy amaze me, and a fair number of them seem to have wandered into your life. But, yeah, I see enough of the same that I believe you, unfortunately. Wish the world was different. HUGGGSS all.

[Travelinglady]

One interesting finding is that professional comedians tend to come from tough childhoods--for example, they might have had to take on more adult responsibility even when young. Also, they do tend to make fun of problems they have--like a young woman with CP I saw who joked about how people respond to her or really overweight comedians who joke about that. I deal with my sensitive spots and problems by joking a lot, too. One T told me my humor has been what has helped me to survive over the years.

As some of you folks have agreed, though, it isn't so funny when other people joke about us. For example, I happen to be under five feet tall. I find it amazing how many people think I would like it when they joke about short people or make comments such as, "Boy, you really are short!" I was even in a car wreck awhile back and an EMT kept making comments about how short I am. I finally told her I didn't want to hear any more about it! But, as somewhat a joke on myself, I dressed as an elf during Christmas! It might be human nature, but humans CAN be awfully cruel.

[lonegael]

I can laugh about a lot of jokes made about me, my height, my build, etc, but it really depends on what the intent is. some people are just dumb, and if the jokes stop with one or two and it's obvious they just haven't thought it through, then I can shrugg it off.
The problem is when it is meant to put you in what ever place people think you should be in. I remember a doctor here who insisted on speaking with a fake American accent while I was trying to hold down my autistic child for an ear exam (he had an infection). I was swallowing my pride and trying to ignore it, but My son at one point sat stright up, gave the doctor a hideous look, one I had not seen on him earlier, and kicked the old coot in the fork. He kept insisting that he accent was a joke, and i let him say so, but It kept going past the point of funny and was condescending and childish. I was getting angry, and my son picked it up even if I couldn't say it. And who can blame a poor handicapped child? Now who's the joke on?