13 yr old Sending Nude Pics

... This situation is just sad. I feel bad for the girl...and can relate too. Seriously. I hope the intervention by police and school officials includes ongoing followup - not just a frenzied panic of "OH MY GOODNESS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! HOW COULD YOU!! You know better...". The potential shame of these actions can last a LONG time. I agree with the others that i hate the perverse rush of these times - for everything NOW even though you may not be able to handle it. I wish I could reach out more to young people and tell them its ok to chill and be ok with YOU now and you really dont need to rush to get/attract/force/do everything now...because mistakes and gossip and rejection and judgement and shame HURT. You are worth more than the risk, the tease, the chase, the labels/status, and mere "things" that will be out of style in months. Again the situation is just sad. Considering the current work i do with kids, i should keep an eye out, and keep being availiable for support. On the other hand... ive said too much already, i guess i am too triggered, and screwed up overall...Damn me , i really should just go...sorry all

Having somewhat grown up online, I can't say this surprizes me at all. I'm no innocent on these things. They happen. I remember I was once shocked to find out someone I knew had been having some textual intercourse when they were 12.

As someone who takes an interest in history though, we have to remember, that it wasn't too far back in the grand scheme of things, people still took a very active interest in rape and piliging. Another example I remember, is of a child chimney sweep, or miner, I can't remember which, but they were quoted as saying at the age of 4 or 5 I think it was, if I remember the history lesson this was from, that they smoked a pipe.

I look at it like this, we like to think we're more civilized than we actually are to some degree. Not only that, but that society as a whole, has hit a dip, espically lately, as youth and technology change the face of the entire world.(I don't think thats overstating it either)

Anyways, my philosophising over, I think its just one of those things, they happen, they're not good, but I suspect sometimes we need to learn our lessons via the harsher path. I doubt she'll want to have to switch schools again anytime soon. So maybe it'll turn to be a blessing in disguise, and she'll learn your body isn't something you show to just anyone. It must be a careful choice.

I suspect, it won't do too much lasting damage, just be a long term reminder, not to do things without prior thought. Thats my take on it.

Thank you (((notablackbarbie))) - I'm glad you posted and everything you said is very valid. So far I'm lucky with my 13 yr old - she has a strong self esteem and doesn't crave outside attention even though she gets it. You're right - they shouldn't just react to this situation and not follow up. They should examine how their sons regard girls - is with respect or do they objectify young women. I heard someone say once -"one of the best things you can do for your son, is teach him how to treat a woman" - the same would be true for women.

(((wolfsong))) - I agree with your last post. We can monitor our children to a certain point, but we need to give them a little freedom. Sometimes you can have the best parents and the child ends up making bad choices. We can only do our best and hope it sticks. I'm an involved parent and we've always talked a great deal but I'm not a helicopter parent.

I think many young girls today struggle with their self esteem because of the pressure to look good. They crave attention to boost their self esteem but it needs to come from them.

Lynn, that seems a valid point in my book. Only thing I think I could add to that, is to say, that girls definatly have it worse on being pressured to look good, but I get the feeling it can happen with boys too. Personally I want to look good, and stay slim, but I'd add, as far as ladies, they don't have to be sticks to be sexy.

Very good post Bluesummers - nice to hear from a young person. Thanks for reminding us about how things used to be. I do wish though, it wouldn't be so easy for young people do find porn - wish there was some regulation where they had to charge to gain entrance.

I dont think lowly of the kids...I think the law is ridiculous.There are laws that overstep themselves and don't fit the supposed "crime".Kids are kids.

Don't worry wolfsong - my daughter spoke with 2 of the boys today and they were brought down by their parents and questioned but not charged. I think they would need to be 14 but even that's too young I think, unless it's a murder charge. If I had a son I would speak to the officer privately and ask him to give the impression, he's going to be charged, just to scare him a bit - then near the end cut him a break. The boys seem regretful and think badly of her now - how she got them in trouble, but I hope they realize what part they played. The boy who got the pics got suspended for 3 days and was also questioned by police

((((((((((((Lynn .P.))))))))))))).....just because!

Wow thats bad

The other day I called my local newspaper - as a parent I wanted to know if this was true. When I originally posted this thread, I couldn't be 100% sure if it was true. I realize because of their ages, this requires privacy -not using their names etc. What bugs me though - is I think the school has the obligation to share this with parents but not reveal names because this proves there's a problem with how some kids are miss-using their freedom of the internet. Parents, kids and the school board could work together to make things safer.

So a reporter called me today and he said the school board / police - they confirmed this happened, but they don't want to elaborate at all. I bet because her mother is a teacher, she's getting preferential treatment. Since I think internet safety is a big problem, I was hoping the newspaper would do an article on the subject. He said he wants to do an article and mention the incident happened but wouldn't reveal at what school or details. I also told him to look at some Formspring accounts to see the hateful and sexually explicit comments. I'm a little ticked off at the school and school board for keeping this hush, hush. I think parents have the right to know this happened, without mentioning names because we end up hearing it anyway through rumors. He said he wouldn't use my name for privacy reasons.

* Since wolfsong and some other member were worried about charges at this age. I think one of the boys turned 14 sometime in January. The reporter said 2 of the kids are obligated to go for counseling in lieu of charges - so that's good news.