[BugsyMalone]

I just wanted to share something that kept me up last night...

Two of my best friends told me last night they are pregnant (well, the female half of the pair is, but you know...). Which is great - I'm really happy for them, and they'll be great parents.

This follows on from another pair of friends having a baby just at the end of December.

Also a few older friends of friends have toddlers now who I met for the first time just before Christmas.

Which is great for all of them, lovely people one and all.

But - when did everyone my age start having babies ?!?

I'm 29. So the older ones with toddlers, that I could take. They were early/mid 30s (I always automatically treat anyone older than me as my superior - which probably isn't that healthy - let's blame my parents and school).

But now when people who were in my school year are having little uns - I mean, I think of getting a dog as too much responsibility!!!

I don't want to come across as one of those typical "too macho to settle down" men. I'm very domesticated and spend huge amounts of time cooking and cleaning and comparing prices on tins in the supermarket - I'm not falling out of nightclubs at three in the morning

But I don't know, a kid still seems a huuuuuuge thing... Scary. I'm not sure I'm ready to grow up yet

[Amoslass]

Kids ARE a huge deal!
I find owning a cat hard enough!

A couple of my friends have kids, I'm 32 this year and still can't see me having any (well, I CAN'T have kids, but can't see me adopting any, etc,) any time soon. freaks me out. And I'm female. It seems to be an unwritten law that women WANT to have kids. No.....I don't! Not the mother type.

I don't think you need to worry, if you aren't ready you aren't ready. What IS boring is hanging around friends who are suddenly constantly talking about their kids, instead of interesting stuff we used to talk about!

[Liberada]

I have a 10yo and a 12yo and I'm still not ready for kids.

[BugsyMalone]

Thanks Amoslass

I don't think my gf is ready yet either. In fact, because of a cyst she had earlier in her life I think we would probably find it difficult to have kids too, though it might not be impossible. But sometimes I don't know if she just uses that to cover her own unwillingness to have kids yet (or maybe ever) - it's not something we really find easy to talk about.

[BugsyMalone]

Thanks Liberada - I like that line a lot!!!

[Junerain]

It seems everyone on my facebook page has a family as well..(Im 38..) It can feel a little like you are being left out, how I feel. But if it's not right for you, remember YOU are living your life...NO ONE else.....I pray we both can get our minds around this, and feel peace

[wing]

Regardless of a yes or no decision, it is an important issue to be honest with yourself about, and have a serious conversation with and decision made rationally with your partner. Kids change a relationship, and test all the ideas you thought you had about them.

[cautious hope]

Originally Posted by BugsyMalone

Thanks Amoslass

I don't think my gf is ready yet either. In fact, because of a cyst she had earlier in her life I think we would probably find it difficult to have kids too, though it might not be impossible. But sometimes I don't know if she just uses that to cover her own unwillingness to have kids yet (or maybe ever) - it's not something we really find easy to talk about.

Either way Bugsy, not everybody is cut out for kids, considering where I am at, I'm grateful now. Also given my shakey coping mechenisms, Me or at least my offspring would be in prison by now. I've seen it happen in my own family and being spared that misery is on my gratitude list.

[cautious hope]

One more thing, having children is a huge responsiblity and there is no gaurantee that it will be a good experience. Children turn into people, some are good, some are bad, they could love us and maybe help us when we're old, but on the flip side, I see children die, get sick, dissappoint us, turn criminal...in my family I'm guessing that our genetics combined with few coping skills turn out troubled kids. Being ambivalent is no environment to welcom a child into. I know, I was raised in one.

[BugsyMalone]

Sorry you had such a tough time as a kid cautioushope. Everyone should be wanted and appreciated, especially children, but we all know that it doesn't always work like that

But I appreciate what everyone has said on here. It just really freaked me out for a bit, having two of my best friends producing Mini-Mes at the same time. But I should learn that I DO NOT have to do what "everyone else" is doing, I guess

[PleaseHelp]

If your not ready your not ready. That is a decision you need to make for yourself. I am what I like to call a part-time mom. I say that b/c I'm a step-mom and our girls do not live with us. And to be perfectly honest I am glad its only part-time. I don't know that I could handle the full-time. I have so much of my own stuff to work on. Do what is right for you!