[Kymaro]

How are you today?

Ever wonder why people ask that? Do they ever truly stick around to hear the answer; do you? Is it just a passing ‘comment’ frequently used to acknowledge the person? I tested this out yesterday, and with each question asked I replied: “I’m purple, thanks for asking” or “I’m Chocolate, how are you?” I used several various responses just to mix it up a little. I’d have to say only about 1 out of 5 people actually stopped and said “WHAT?” Others: “That’s great to hear, have a nice day” “I’m great, thanks for asking”, “Well its been a hard week, thanks for asking”. Etc, etc, etc. I even went one step further and actually stopped walking when they asked and looked right at them. Only those who where caught by my response actually stopped to talk. And would they have stopped if my answer was a normal response?

Amazing how such a personal question is “just a polite” acknowledgement of a person.

So please don’t ask unless you really want to take the time to listen.

[babygirl2201028]

Originally Posted by Kymaro

How are you today?

Ever wonder why people ask that? Do they ever truly stick around to hear the answer; do you? Is it just a passing ‘comment’ frequently used to acknowledge the person? I tested this out yesterday, and with each question asked I replied: “I’m purple, thanks for asking” or “I’m Chocolate, how are you?” I used several various responses just to mix it up a little. I’d have to say only about 1 out of 5 people actually stopped and said “WHAT?” Others: “That’s great to hear, have a nice day” “I’m great, thanks for asking”, “Well its been a hard week, thanks for asking”. Etc, etc, etc. I even went one step further and actually stopped walking when they asked and looked right at them. Only those who where caught by my response actually stopped to talk. And would they have stopped if my answer was a normal response?

Amazing how such a personal question is “just a polite” acknowledgement of a person.

So please don’t ask unless you really want to take the time to listen.

Kinda like when someone u love dies and complete strangers say they`re sorry for your loss and ur thinking y u don`t know me......
But I feel there are people on this site who really do care

[Nightside of Eden]

I don't ask how someone is doing unless I care enough to hear the answer. I also have been known to respond with things like "as if you care" or "homicidal, how about you?" when strangers ask me how I'm doing.

[SunnyD]

Lots to think about. Interesting experiments to try. hmmm

[Sabrina]

When strangers phone me and ask how I am, I reply by asking what I can do for them. I don't answer. Is that rude?

[SunnyD]

I don't think so..they are strangers and do they really care how you are?
I think sometimes saying how are you is just an empty way of saying hi.
But then again some people really do care.
I would like it if I asked how someone was and that I really meant it. Maybe if they say they are fine then a followup question?
I don't know, maybe just a few random thoughts about it.

[lonegael]

You know, I think there are degrees of caring. There are total strangers who die shoving folks they don't know out of the way of cars. I've seen people get ready to put themselves at risk to knock a stupid kid out of the way of a train he was playing chicken with, and they didn't know him from adam. In that case, the kid would have been fine... there would have been seven fewer college students left to plague the world
I mean, care and care. Most folks don't know what to say, so they just cruise right on. I had a best friend who does this. She doens't know what to sya, so she acts like she hasn't heard people say, "I feel like s#%&." And she says, "Oh, that's great, I have to say, I found the best manicurist last week..." See, she has parents from the South who alsway feel that such stuff is best not dragged out and looked too closely att because it is embarassing for the person who is suffering. You move past it and shore the person up like a faulty levy so they don't break in public. Perosnally, I hatethis, but i wasn'traised like that.
Most people I think, they mean what they ask, in a quick, one word way. "how are you?" "Fine" "Surviving" "Eh.." "It'll do". I know the people that I can expect to deal with the details, the "Need to know" list. The bank people don't need to know. they are just politely openinga conversation. They get the "fine" or "tolerable" "answer.
Chruch folks, "Fine", "got a cold" " a bit tired". Friends, a bit more detail. Mom, the physical woes, a bit more if I'm down, but not so much more. good friends ore my sisters, my hubby, they can be trusted with my soul.
Then again, those annoying people who may not care to hear al lthe details, might just die to save you... care and care. I'm not sure where the line is. HUGGGSSS

I sometimes ask whether they want the short version or the true one.

[Tash35]

Oh my-you are so right, I have often been a little confused to this "how are you?" as well, because sometimes when people ask me, they actually walk away in the middle of it, their back is turned while I stutter my answer. Now I just don't answer when I know that it is a formal way to make little conversation, or if I know it is a way to say "I don't have time to chat, but I have to be polite". It is actually insulting. SO yeah, I agree, if you are indifferent to a person's answer to that question, a smile and a hello will do just fine!

[thine_self_untrue]

http://ferriswheelthemonkeyreel.blog.../good-lie.html

I think about this all the time...