scared for my marine partner

Does anyone else have a boyfriend in the military? My partner will start his marine training soon and I am really worrying about him going away, especially with all the news constantly reporting soldiers dying

Am i overreacting?

My husband just retired from the Army, after 20 years. You get used to the military life. It certainly has its perks too. Yes, it's scary when they deploy. We got lucky, we only had three deployments during our 13 year marriage. Dh has been through 5 deployments total. You really get used to it. Nowadays we have internet, and phones, emails, Skype, it's really not that bad. Yes, it's dangerous for our guys over there, especially as a Marine, but the more you think about it the more you drive yourself nuts, and it's not something you can do anything about anyway, so there's absolutely no point.
Keep busy, get a good routine going, that's my advice. Maybe find a project. I don't know if you have kids, but that alone will keep you very busy.
DON'T watch the news!!! If anything happens in your partner's unit, you will hear about it anyway. DON'T listen to rumors. A lot of military wives enjoy spreading rumors during deployments. Don't listen to them. Unless you hear it from your partner or the rear detachment (if the Marines have something like that), don't listen to it.
Good luck! And really, it's not that bad.

Well, I don't think you are over reacting. It must be very frightening. I know it would bother me greatly.

Thanks, its helpful just to hear other peoples experiences of it. We dont have children yet, but the other army wives I know all have children so I think they have less time to ponder on these things compared to me. I know theres nothing I can do about, i dont want to stand in the way of his career choice, its just very hard sometimes.

It definitely is hard sometimes. My husband actually still works in Afghanistan, he took a job over there.
During deployments, a year is a long time, at some point everyday life just sets in, you start thinking less and less about it. I must say, the last two weeks before they get back are actually the hardest. That's when time really slows down and you get antsy.

Kids definitely keep you very busy. I've never been through a deployment without kids. I would really recommend finding something fun and maybe meaningful to do, the less time you have to think, at least in the beginning, the better.
You can always spend all day on PC and just talk to all of us. No seriously, keeping busy is crucial in my experience. The worst time for me used to be the evenings, after the kids go to bed, when it's dark, and quiet, and I just sat around with way too much time to think. Now I enjoy this time as me-time.

Putting together care packages for your partner will keep you busy too. I used to go on baking marathons, and then send my husband lots of homemade cookies. They were always a big hit with everyone there. And getting mail, especially boxes, are a huge morale booster for our guys over there.

Thats a good idea i do like baking and id like to do something regularly for all the soldiers to keep their spirits high.

My son is one month into Marine boot camp. I feel your pain. I was also a young military wife myself. Oddly I never really thought of the "danger" involved when my father was in the Army or husband in the Navy; it was just what they did. My son however, that is another story.

This is how I cope with the danger aspect of it. I firmly believe when your time comes it comes. My son could just as easily be severely injured or killed in a car accident. I truly do not want to minimize your fears, but it will drive you insane if you dwell on it.

In fact hubby just walked in with a letter from him now, will post more later.

I word of advice. Write him EVERY DAY

You guys are so wonderful. Seriously, this was good to see.

Nerdosaurus, I wish you and your husband the best. The baking idea is such a nice thing to do to keep you busy and keep morale up where your boyfriend is. It's hard not to feel lonely when your SO is away at any time, so I admire the strength of the ladies in this thread.

No baked goods in boot camp. He can get power bars (you will need to send 100) though, but wait until he asks for them. Usually around week 4. When my brother was in the Marines, he enjoyed getting baked goods very much when he was in the fleet. Also go to www.Marineparents.com (I think it is). There is a section in there for SO also. You will be able to talk to other family members in his exact platoon. That will help a lot. There is also a lot of information there.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. He is about to undertake the most difficult emotional and physical undertaking in his life. He will be an emotional roller coaster. This is natural. The support you send him via your letters will be priceless. The letter I got today from my son was heartbreaking. He has been gone for 32 days and has not gotten a letter from his girlfriend yet.

When does he leave? Will he go to SD or SC? Do you have Netflix? There is a documentary on there about Marine boot camp that is very informative. Also, he can bring a small address book. I would put a calling card number and pin in there as well. We are learning with cell phones that calls can be difficult. Tell him to sleep while he can on the plane or bus. So much information so little time.

Oh, the baking idea and all that was more geared towards deployments. I don't know anything about bootcamp, DH had already been in for 7 years when we met.

Sounds like you're getting some great advice from the other ladies!

Thanks so much guys, makes me feel a lot better to know there are other people who've been through this and come out the other side.

I will definitely write to him everyday, I know its going to be really tough for him. I havent heard of netflix but I will have a look for that documentary.

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