[Travelinglady]

I've been away for awhile, but I haven't forgotten you folks, and the need for us to keep a sense of humor about mental illness. I did have a shrink-joke thread, but evidently we've all run out of possibilities. So, how about trying a slightly different angle? If you know a new shrink joke, then please share. Or you can tell something humorous that happened with a shrink, albeit it a psychiatrist or therapist.

I'll get the thread started:

The other day I was in my T's office, blabbing away, and I got to a sentence where I was going to say "Between he and ___....." I didn't know what word to use. So, I was debating out loud if I should say "me" or "I." I finally decided on "I."

"That's right," my T said, "because it's the object of a proposition!"

"Don't you mean 'preposition'?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah, preposition," she said. At that her face turned a bit red, and she commented, "Well, I guess THAT was a Freudian slip!"

At any rate, I got a big hoot over it, and I found ways to tease her about it throughout the rest of the session.

[Gus1234U]

i sometimes wonder if Freud wore his slip like J.Edgar Hoover,, secretly,,, ?

[vanessaG]

I was wearing pink jean cutoff shorts.. As soon as i sit down he looks down and says ' wow what bright pink panties those are!!' as soon as he said that his face turned bright red and i immeadiatley changed the subject!

[Travelinglady]

I was yakking away in my psychiatrist's office, trying to make the most of my fifteen minutes of fame. I noticed that she seemed to be looking at me rather strangely, so finally I asked, "Is something wrong?"

"I'm just listening," she responded.

I shrugged, and I went back to my yakking. But she still seemed to be staring at me.

So, I said, "You're looking at me sort of oddly. Am I saying or doing something that's not appropriate?"

"Oh, no," she replied. "I'm just trying to wear my contacts today, and I haven't worn them for a long time. I'll probably be looking at all my patients this way today!"

[Travelinglady]

I spend a lot of time in doctor's offices, so I am beginning to rate myself as an expert in the magazines that they have in their waiting rooms. I've been particularly intrigued with the ones I find in my psychiatrists' and my therapists' waiting rooms over the years.

One psychiatrist was evidently cheap, because he mainly just provided copies of magazines that he personally subscribed to--such as ones that told about cruises he could take. I always sat there, looking at these magazines, wondering if most of his patients could even afford such adventures. And I sort of resented that I was helping to pay for any that he went on!

Not too long ago in my current psychiatrist's office, I found a magazine all about owning and flying small airplanes. Oh, yes, indeedy, that was helpful--since I plan to run right out to buy one and sign up for flying lessons. I did notice it was gone by the next week I came in.....Flew away, I guess.

[Travelinglady]

Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I need help right now. I'm shrinking!"

Doctor: "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient!"

Okay, now, I KNOW you folks can come up with some better stuff!

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I need help right now. I'm shrinking!"

Doctor: "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient!"

Okay, now, I KNOW you folks can come up with some better stuff!

Hahahahahahahahahahah!

[Travelinglady]

I have to say that I'm one of those people who try to "look on the funny side of life." Sometimes, of course, what I think is humorous, some other people don't. Oh, well.

I know some folks don't think we should look at therapists or psychiatrists with some humor--or even mental illness as sometimes humorous--but it helps get me through. And I hope it helps some of you to see some humor about these things, too. Hence, this thread.

Maybe you'll appreciate this "poke" at me. I have been learning a technique called "tapping" in therapy. The person taps on various meridian points on the body (the same places used in acupuncture) and repeats the same sentence three times at each point. The goal is to pick one problem and help to relieve it, such as, say, a pain in the neck. You're supposed to say, in this case, "Even though I have a pain in my neck, I totally and completely accept myself!"

At any rate, I was doing tapping for pain in my neck this week, and I found myself saying, "Even though I'm a pain in the neck, I totally and completely accept myself!" Um, no, that's not what the developer of this technique had in mind..... Ha! And I don't think I REALLY want to be a pain in the neck.....However, it does have its good points sometimes!

[sewerrats]

I had a shrink who new very little about anything really. I would ask a question and he would say something like how long is a piece of string,as his answer. Once he said can a duck swim???? i said i dont no but he can float or he would drown, WTF

[Travelinglady]

My therapist's favorite shrink joke:

Two therapists were on the elevator, having finished their work for the day. One of them looked worn to a frazzle, with his necktie askew, his hair rumpled, and his shirt all wrinkled. The other one looked neat and rested.

"How can you look so fine after having to listen to your patients' troubles all day? the first one asked the second.

"Who listens?" the second one responded.

[eskielover]

In my DBT group we were supposed to come up with our own metafore for our Wise Mind. The process of integrating our rational mind with our emotional mind & coming up with our WISE MIND solution. The given metafore is a deep well in the ground.

Being not so good at metafore sort of things & hearing what others had come up with in our group, this flash hit me.....this whole process is like a rat in his maze, trying to find the cheese which is our reward for figuring out what paths to take to get there & making the right decisions. She is a cute Italian lady with a very Italian accent & she just couldn't understand what I was saying as I kept telling her it was a RAT MAZE. She liked the concept but thought I would be better calling it a laborinth & finding the center of peace being the WISE MIND.....but I said I would rather stick with my rat maze.

Well, the next week, I was about an hour late after being up all night trying to get my old desk top computer to be able to connect to the internet...got the hardware working no problem...but couldn't get the anti-virus stuff to load because the computer had not been used for so long, none of the updates were compatible & all my attempts to get them compatible kept failing. I finally decided to just walk away from my computer & head for my DBT group. When I got into the group, it was just before break time (good timing on my part). During the break, she asked if I was ok.....I told her that the RAT TRAP in my RAT maze got me & I couldn't get loose but finally broke free in order to get there. She finally understood why I didn't want to change my metafore from the RAT MAZE as it really is much more fitting for my life than a laborinth.

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

My therapist's favorite shrink joke:

Two therapists were on the elevator, having finished their work for the day. One of them looked worn to a frazzle, with his necktie askew, his hair rumpled, and his shirt all wrinkled. The other one looked neat and rested.

"How can you look so fine after having to listen to your patients' troubles all day? the first one asked the second.

"Who listens?" the second one responded.

you just nailed that one , it so true

[Travelinglady]

Yeah, I still remember the psychiatrist I had who was asking me some questions at our first meeting. When he asked, "How many siblings do you have?," I responded, "One. I have an identical twin sister."

"And how old is she?" he asked.....

[Perna]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

"Even though I'm a pain in the neck, I totally and completely accept myself!"

I still like the child's teasing for when someone is obstructing your view of an event (or the TV :-)

"You may be a pain (pane), but I can't see through you!"

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

I have to say that I'm one of those people who try to "look on the funny side of life." Sometimes, of course, what I think is humorous, some other people don't. Oh, well.

I know some folks don't think we should look at therapists or psychiatrists with some humor--or even mental illness as sometimes humorous--but it helps get me through. And I hope it helps some of you to see some humor about these things, too. Hence, this thread.

Maybe you'll appreciate this "poke" at me. I have been learning a technique called "tapping" in therapy. The person taps on various meridian points on the body (the same places used in acupuncture) and repeats the same sentence three times at each point. The goal is to pick one problem and help to relieve it, such as, say, a pain in the neck. You're supposed to say, in this case, "Even though I have a pain in my neck, I totally and completely accept myself!"

At any rate, I was doing tapping for pain in my neck this week, and I found myself saying, "Even though I'm a pain in the neck, I totally and completely accept myself!" Um, no, that's not what the developer of this technique had in mind..... Ha! And I don't think I REALLY want to be a pain in the neck.....However, it does have its good points sometimes!

I used to do this technique with my former therapist. Do you find that it helps you?

[Travelinglady]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

I used to do this technique with my former therapist. Do you find that it helps you?

Indie'sok, I have found it relaxing and it does seem to ease my specific pains--like those in the neck!

[(JD)]

"Even though I'm a pain in the neck, I totally and completely accept myself!" Um, no, that's not what the developer of this technique had in mind..... Ha! And I don't think I REALLY want to be a pain in the neck.....However, it does have its good points sometimes! __________________

You really should stop using such a metaphor. The body believes every word you say, and it really could be part and parcel of the origin of your neck pain.



There are so many double entendre that occur in therapy, if I stopped to write them down no therapy would be done! I'll try to make note of the next funny one though. I enjoy reading them too

[Travelinglady]

Thanks, JD, for your concern. I agree that I am being a bit "self-deprecating" by joking about being a "pain in the neck." I will certainly stop saying that. However, I do have some legitimate neck problems--such as a herniated disc that probably will need surgery at some point.

[Travelinglady]

Well, enough about me for the moment , here's a joke I don't think we ever posted.

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office and tells her all of his symptoms. "And the last one is I just can't stand it when things aren't in alphabetical order. I even have the spices lined up in the cabinet from Anise to whatever happens to come last. What seems to be my problem?"

"Well," the psychiatrist says, "It sounds like you have CDO."

"CDO?" the patient questions. "What's that?"

"It's OCD, put into alphabetical order, for your sake," the psychiatrist responds.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

"It's OCD, put into alphabetical order, for your sake," the psychiatrist responds.

LLO! funny!

[LyingSweetie]

One psychiatrist I used to meet didn't know frogs had legs.

... like wtf???

[Travelinglady]

Here's one even "shrinks" might appreciate!

A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger.

"I"m sorry," the social worker answers, "I'm a social worker--so, I have no money and no life."

[sewerrats]

Im sorry to say that Tapping therapy is like a GEORGE FORMAN grill. You use it a couple of times , reolise its crap an never use again

[(JD)]

I like my Foreman grill.

[Travelinglady]

Yep, tapping works for some, just like George Foreman grills do....

My T says I have only just scratched the surface with tapping; it can
get very involved and detailed. Guess you just have to read the George Foreman cookbook instructions to get the most out of it?

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but it takes nine visits.