ANother Good PC blog

I hope it is ok to post a link to a Psych Central Blog. I thought this was really good...If it isn't ok, just let me know

<H1 id=post-25150>Can God and Gratitude Help Your Mental Health?

By Daniel Tomasulo, Ph.D.
Ask the Therapist
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/12/11/can-god-and-gratitude-help-your-mental-health/
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Thanks Radio Flyer,
I do believe that it is important to remember the things or experiences in our lives that we should be grateful for. With any mental illness it is very easy to fall into the illness and all the focus becomes the illness itself. I know this because with what I have, PTSD, I was falling into and being consumed by it. And I didn't want it to be that way, in fact it was progressing without my being consciously aware it was.

When I was tending to my sick pony I wasn't really sure how it would effect the PTSD that I was trying to understand and figure out how to overcome. And one thought I did use was the thought my therapist suggested about life being a series of waves and the best way to look at it is to just allow the waves of life to come and go, knowing that the best we can do is understand that we cannot control the waves, the only thing we can do is make up our mind to stand firm and address things as they come in and out of our lives. And that is what I truely kept in the back of my mind the whole time I was addressing the ill pony. I have to say that it was the one thing that seemed to get me through that ordeal, at least enough to find strength to see it through.

And the other thoughts I had were of what this one animal did for me in my life. As I was tending to her I was also remembering starting my business and this little pony that made that all possible. There certainly were a lot of memories and so many different people and experiences that were made possible because this one life came into my life. I was very fortunate to have this life come into my life and the pony was very fortunate to come into my life as well because she also had a very interesting life and she was very loved and wanted for nothing.

While trying to sell some items I gathered in my home to a woman that has a shop
in town full of all kinds of antiques, from soup to nuts as well as other items too, some used furniture etc. I had a chat with this woman, and she is a very interesting woman who has not had an easy life either, she suffered some abusive marriages and had to survive on her own with two children. And what I like about her is that she has some strong beliefs and truely feels that we are here to learn and that we can live many lives depending upon what we learn. And she also told me to look back on my life and see how things came into my life and how each time my life course changed and I learned new things and ended up on different paths, paths I didn't truely see coming.

The other thing she told me is that this pony came into my life and served a purpose and that now her purpose was served and it was her time to leave my life. She told me not to be sad because the pony was now free of all pain and in a much better place just as in how we become spirits that are free of our bodies, it is the same for them. And though she saw the confusion in my eyes, she told me to think about my life path and how so many things happened that I could have never planned but that with all the things that came to me, I was constantly learning. And she reminded me, that is what we are here for, to learn through all our life experiences. And she told me to think about that for a while and understand that whatever is presented now, I will continue to learn something from it.

So what she was saying was very similar to my therapist in that the waves of life were going to come in and out of my life and the best I could do is understand that
I don't truely have control over the waves, the best I can do is learn from each wave of life events that come in and out of my life. And all this advice is not the same as hearing "Just get over it and deal". What it is saying is "Allow yourself to LEARN".

I have been a member of PC since mid March and my journey here at PC has provided me with a lot of food for thought. My time here has also allowed me to express the difficulty and pain of my life journey and express my struggle with the PTSD that has been challenging me so unexpectedly. And my time here thus far has given me the opportunity to know that I am not alone in my experience as well as the fact that many different people struggle with many different issues that they are truely trying to understand and find their way through.

Most of my time here I have been very moved and have advised and commented based on what I have learned from my own life journey thus far. And in sharing my lessons and posting different ideas on how to look at different issues and concerns, I did find that those days of expressing whatever I have learned and did that were productive, helped me get through some very difficult days. And I did gain some kind of strength by recalling the things I have come to know and ways I did survive in my life. As much as I was truely struggling, I still kept in touch with the positives in my life where I did learn and I did somehow survive and grow.

Gratitude? Well, I am grateful for what I have learned here, which has truely been more than I expected, more than I ever imagined. And the support I have received here has also been in ways I could not have imagined or truely ever predetermined. I have clearly met so many members that struggle with their sense of self esteem and personal value because of the waves of life that have crashed into them. And it is has been clear that many members from the beginning of their lives experienced the waves of life that came at them where they truely had no contol.

My constant message to others and myself is not about "Just get over it", but that of
try to "LEARN" allow yourself to "LEARN". Someone comes forward presenting a situation of abuse and truely struggles with what to do about it. And so many come forward with memories of things that they lived through and didn't truely understand or behaved in certain ways that they now regret. And as they present these memories of regret, often they are stuck in the regret, myself included. The one thing I do try to present in each situation I encounter here is, "LEARN". And within that statement I have tried to give each person the right to do just that along with finding some kind of "Gratitude" that they may not see or allow themselves to see. And when I do that, what I havent realized is that it reminds me to do the same.

I have learned this word "trigger" here. I have also learned that I have many of them, more than I ever realized. When a trigger presents itself it presents a very uncomfortable feeling that can bring out sadness, fear, unpleasant experiences, and deep anger. However this "trigger" can also present an opportunity to "LEARN". It is not easy to face triggers because they can be very painful reminders. These painful reminders can teach us to stop and find a way to make peace with a life wave that did come and go and we may not have known enough to do our best. Instead of allowing ourselves to get "STUCK" in "REGRET" perhaps we can, at the very least "LEARN" to "FORGIVE OURSELVES" and do our best to remember that we are only "HUMAN" and none of us can predict life, the only thing we can do is have "GRATITUDE" for the things we could do and continue to say "I SHALL DO MY BEST TO LEARN". The truth is, as we are all "HUMAN" the one thing we all can do is "LEARN" and for that we must allow ourselves to have some "GRATITUDE". All any of us can truely do is "ONE DAY AT A TIME"and give ourselves permission to continue to "LEARN". And perhaps know that it is ok to reach out for help, it is ok if we cannot do things ourselves or if we have not learned enough to get out of somehow being "STUCK". We truely cannot penalize ourselves if we do not have all the answers, we truely have to know that no one has all the answers. The reality is, we are all just "learning".
Open Eyes