Outsider

I feel like a total outcast - I don't feel like I fit in anywhere, I don't fit in on here - I just sense the hatred they have towards me.

I don't fit in at college - I just feel totally different from everyone.

I'm never going to fit in anywhere.

I don't feel you are an outsider here KUREHA, you have been here at Psych Central for over three years, so you are very much part of this place.

Hi kuhera(sp),

I am not a "college" guy either. My first semester at college was horrible and destroyed any positive self-image I had been able to build thus-far. I recovered. I wasn't completely innocent as far as destroying my self image. I did some. Others did some also. Either way, I had to live with the consequences. I did and life is manageable now. I do not think any human could destroy my self-image again. I've learned to speak honestly from my own experience or from very reliable sources. It is my belief that the mighty always tumble and slide and stumble and ultimately suffer, despite their strengths. We are all gonna get sick and we are all gonna eventually die. I don't believe their are any exceptions. Your your own best asset. Don't insult yourself, enough people are ready and willing to do that for you. It is a sink or swim world, I believe. I think God gives us all the tools to live and the tools to die. The choice is ours. I've chosen to live, I hope you choose to live also. We all affect each other, I believe. If one person has a bad day, they bring others down also. I hope you don't feel trapped in the college or university routine for a good job and career in the future. I know people who get by without college diplomas and seem happy and well adjusted. Doesn't mean life doesn't get them down, occasionally. They struggle financially many times. Personally, I choose to live without all the goodies that a college education can bring, and I've accepted the hardships of low paying jobs and financial struggles. It hasn't been easy. I don't think college grads have "free rides" through life, even with financial success. Hearts still get broken and people die prematurely, even for the wealthy and educated. I think you should take advice only from professionals, but these are my thoughts. I'm not a professional. I clean offices part time and I have been married for 10 years and have been a step-dad for that time also. I've been diagnosed with a major mental illness. I keep my head up, no exceptions. Good luck I've been where you are, it gets better...

See you.

It's not so much I'm bothered about being part of something - just it would be nice to have some real friends.
I have 1 that I hardly see and that's it.

I have some friends here - but I still don't fit in properly - like other people seem too.

I have no mental illness - well my doctor says I have psychosis, but they are wrong I'm being gang stalked - the only people that want me around are the sleeper cells - until the government are finished with me.

I think fitting in is just being one's self and comfortable with that, enjoying one's self and other people around one, maybe having a couple/few really good friends.

Dude,

If you have convinced yourself that "sleeper cells" are "around" you and that the united states government is persecuting you, your only true friend would be encouraging you to talk to a professional mental health worker, vey soon, like right now. Go to the local hospital emergency room. Tell them you do not feel safe and that you need to talk to someone to feel safe. If I thought sleeper cells were surounding me and that gvt. was trying to hurt me, i would ask to be sedated. Better to be a little sick from meds than thinking scary stuff like that. Tell those thoughts and voices in your head to leave you alone, do this out loud. That works for me. Try the Lords prayer. I do that also.
My thoughts will surround your image and protect you from those scary thoughts. I've conquored them before. See you...

It's the English government.
It's ok I have a nurse and psychologist - just my meds arent working. I can't see the psychiatrist though because I don't trust him.

I'll try praying as well

Thanks and hope you're ok

KUREHA, you are in my thoughts.