[radio_flyer]

I don't know what it is with housemate/roommates around here. I do fine in the beginning. Then when they start telling me what to do, the fire inside me ignites.

HE had the nerve to holler for me to turn the tv down and when I didn't jump, he slammed the door. Pissed me off big time.. I asked AJ, later in the evening, when he came downstairs and asked him if he could hear my tv and he said no.......... SO what is with this guy?

It was 70 degrees yesterday and he turned on the heat. He hurt his back so he didn't go to work yesterday. I, of course, turned off the heat and grumbled at him...

Not sure if I am getting the point across. Seems this little "middle eastern" guy wants to tell me what to do and trust me, he is barking up the wrong tree.....

I don't want to cause a conflict because AJ needs the extra cash.. MAYBE if I just write it here and vent, I might be able to tolerate this guy. I don't want to write a book here. He has only been here 2 weeks. LOL....... I GET along find with people, that is until they start stepping on my toes..... WHO do they think they are? grumbles......

I might come across as a pushover. They start pushing.. And I react.
Well, "kind" folks come across as pushovers... They think being kind makes one "stupid".. But this "stupid" little ole lady is by far no pushover.. The fire is lit... Hope I can put it out before he gets back from work........

I am going to tell the guy next time he slams a door on me, I'm going to, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I am sure it isn't going to be pretty!

I would state plainly what he can and can't expect from you. Surely there are more needy people out there? Where i am people on are on their best behaviour when co-habiting with others because properties are ridiculously expensive and people won't take on housemates unless they pay a good price and are easy to live with. Therefore competition can be fierce. I think it wouldn't hurt for him to reminded by the appropriate person that he's lucky to be in his position. Could another housemate be found if things don't improve? Give this guy a chance - maybe have a household meeting and discuss openly how you feel, this guy is probably feeling the tension too so clearing the air this way might be useful. It would also give you all a chance to reestablish some boundaries and hopefully make some compromises. If things however don't change either you'll have to find someone else (or convince the person in charge to find someone else) or you will have to look elsewhere...hardly ideal but theres no point sitting around if the situation can be changed. Just my thoughts. Hope things get better.

[KathyM]

I'm sure when he was a little boy, he didn't say "When I grow up, I want to be my mother's roommate." I'm sure when you gave birth to your son, you didn't say "I hope he grows up to be my roommate!" The only result would be the mutual question "Why am I still STUCK in this place!?!"

My son is "all grown up" now too, and we butted heads over the exact same problem. I had to laugh when flipped his lid and told ME to go find somewhere else to live. Excuse me? If ANYONE is going to leave, it's gonna be YOU - who stands a better chance of "making it" out there in the world? He even said "maybe you shouldn't have had children then!" He's my only child. All I had to do was give him a look and a moment to think about what he had just said. The last thing he wants to do is "throw me away" into a nursing home - because he knows I never threw him away (or his grandparents). He also knows that at no point in his life or mine will he EVER be able to treat me like a child - especially in my own home.

I honestly don't know how you do it. Same goes for AJ, lol. I helped out and cared for my parents, but I never would have grown up if I'd never gone off and lived on my own first. Fortunately, I lived close enough to be there whenever they needed me.....even if I was a few minutes late.

YO! AJ - Respect your MOTHER. She's the only one ya got! You're gonna miss the old bird when she's gone.

Radio - have FUN sharing space on the highwire with that boy of yours!

[radio_flyer]

bb2023. I think when I write this stuff here I am releasing my anger which is good, then I don't "without thinking" blast anyone. Because when one speaks out of anger, words are said that are later regreted.

He isn't that bad of a housemate. Think he was just trying to throw his weight around me and to be honest, it irked me big time....IT kind of caught me off guard. They way he said it and then slammed the door. If he had "manners" he would have asked me to turn the tv down because he couldn't sleep, not "tell/yell" at me and then slamming the door . Like "who" do you think you are, telling me what to do in "my" space....

Since the anger has passed, your idea to talk to him is the best solution. To talk to him "without" anger... AJ told the housemate this morning that he was not his father or his maid and he needed to start cleaning up after himself...SO I guess the first few weeks are the "breaking in" days. Getting used to another person living here. The new person getting used to living here.

In my opinion, the new guy has a good deal here. HE pays decent rent. No utilities or internet fee. Plus AJ told him he didn't have to buy food this month and he could eat what we had, but November he had to put money in the pot for groceries. AND I cook breakfast and dinner for all here... NOT bad .. JUST show some manners is all I ask.. I don't have to offer him breakfast or dinner when I cook. Yet I do. Just being considerate. Guess expect him to be considerate too.

[Open Eyes]

Radio, maybe you should have a female renter the next time. Remember, the more you give, the more things become "expected", just the way it seems to work with most human beings.

Open Eyes

[radio_flyer]

LOL.. I agree. AM sure AJ didn't grow up wanting me to be his housemate. We butted heads in the beginning.. Don't know what happened, we get along now

Kathy... AJ and I get along pretty good these days. AJ isn't the one that irked me. IT was the new person AJ rented the extra room too. IT is the new renter that yelled at me and slammed the door, not AJ.. The renter that has only been here for 3 weeks. How dare him! AM glad dinner was awful last night. lol Didn't see him gobble it all up let one ask for more.....lol

AJ and I don't fight anymore. Guess we both gave up. AJ has changed so much since he started working. I am very proud of him... We have our spats once in awhile. But nothing like it used to be... If we lived on the same "floor" am sure things would not have worked out. Since he is upstairs and I'm downstairs, it somehow works now.... I only seem him for breakfast and dinner. ANd when he needs someone to talk to. I've also learned he doesn't really want my "input". He just wants someone to listen.. To hear him.... SO i've learned to keep my mouth shut. Well most of the times, sometimes I slip up.. Never said I was perfect.. smile

[radio_flyer]

Open Eyes... We had two female renters in the past.. To be honest, I prefer male renters. ... I can give l00 reasons why. lol

You got that right, the more you give, the more they take. Geesh he gets free food here too and I cook it.. You'd think he'd have some manners. THe deal was he could eat what he wanted... The deal isn't that I cook for him.. I just out of "consideration" offer him meals..

Maybe I am the fool........ Just thought things would be different. Seems they never are.. Esp with renters..

[Open Eyes]

I think it is always a challenge Radio when human beings "share space". This isn't just you, I think people have forgotten how to show other's respect and have manners, and also be truthful. And it is a challenge when you "give" a service because it "does" become expected. A lot of people are "takers" these days tbh.

(((Hugs))))

[radio_flyer]

Open Eyes. Yes, a challenge indeed.. Sharing space with "strangers" is not fun at all.... I've been down this road before.... Many years ago when I was renting my basement and extra bedrooms... Guess you could say, I have "stories" of my own. Guess that is why when the "red flag" surfaces, I jump on it.

Ha! TO be honest, I would not mind renting from a person like me, lol... Well, not the person I am today, the person of yesterdays... The "me" "now" is the reason several of AJ's renters left... lol........ Wish the "today" me was around years ago..LOL... Anyway, since this is AJ's house, he runs the show.. When it is "mine" I run the show.... anyway am babbling.... nicotine withdrawl is not fun.. ugh

[KathyM]

Wow, Radio, it didn't occur to me you were referring to your "Renter!" I managed to insult you AND AJ with that one Oh well, if you ever get into it again with AJ in that way, my words still apply.

As for your renter, this goes out to him.......

"It's a home, not a friggin' CASTLE. You're an occupant, not a KING!"

[radio_flyer]

lol Kathy. Is ok... Has been a long time since AJ blew up at me..We get along now. I don't know why. Not going to every try to figure out why. lol

Guess that is why it caught me off guard. A tenant screaming at me and slamming doors. How dare he flip out at the one that cooks for him. lol

ooo.. thinking maybe ever since AJ hooked up with his g/f, he realized I was nothing compared to what she dished and he softened towards me.. lol....

[gma45]

Slamming doors is just not behavior I would put up with renter or not. I like the idea of a sit down with everyone to go over the rules. Sounds like he was just having a bad day which we all have, but you shouldn't have to be the one he takes it out on. I am kinda going through the same situation at my daughters. I have learned like you to just keep my mouth shut. It does me no good to complain. I am looking for another place to live though.