[radio_flyer]

Made breakfast this morning. Can of refrigerated biscuits and I rolled them thin and stuffed them with sausage, scrambled eggs and cheese.

SO AJ and the renter are eating and the renter asks what is in them and I say sausage and eggs. Then I asked, "do you eat pork". Well he said he isn't muslim and yes he eats pork, it is beef he can't eat. Well, I said you ate beef here when I made the veggie beef soup and the beef stews..

WELL AJ jumped down my throat, screaming that is how I start things...Making me look bad for making the comment on the bee in front the renter.......

I wasn't trying to offend the renter. He said he doesn't eat beef and well he gobbled up the veggie beef soup... Bottom line is if he doesn't eat beef then I won't offer him beef... NO BIG DEAL...

AJ best stop messing with the cook..... Cuz if he is gonna shout at me after I've cooked, over petty stuff", I swear this coook is going to either stop cooking or make awful food that doesn't taste good..and I excell in making nasty tasting food... grrr

SO was it wrong for me to say to the renter after he said he doesn't eat beef , "'well you have eaten beef here in the stews and soups?"

Maybe someone can enlighten me... Jesus, afraid to open my mouth around here. Everyone is sooooooooo sensitive around here.. ....... rolls eyes and wants to ***** now... Even if i am wrong, still want to *****, cuz that is something I'm getting good at. The MEN around here are good teachers in *****en..

[likewater]

I used to be vegetarian and would sometimes eat something by accident not knowing what was in the food. I think you were thoughtful to mention that for next time you made beef veggie stew. Sunds yummie btw.

[lizardlady]

Radio Flyer, I guess it depends on how you said there was beef in the soup. If you used a snotty tone of voice and said something like "Well you ate beef in the soup you idiot" that would be starting something. As for the stew, how the heck can anyone not notice the meat in stew???? If the person can't/doesn't eat certain kinds of food it's up to them to check what's in things in my opinion.

As for the comment about not being Muslim and eating pork... I don't eat pork for health reasons. Can't tell you the number of times people have told me I don't look Jewish when I say I don't eat pork.

Personally I think it's nice that you take others' eating preferences into consideration when cooking. I'd be inclined to point to the kitchen and tell AJ "there's the kitchen fix your own dang food!"

[radio_flyer]

Thank you likewater

Thank you Lizardlady...I would have never been "rude" to the renter. Well, except when he turns the heat up, then I get snappy. ooops.. Small house and it heats up very fast. NO reason to bring back a "heat wave" in October. But that is a different story.. OK, back to the beef. Now I forgot what I was going to say. lol

Thinks AJ needs an "attitude adjustment".. This screaming at me over little things is getting to be a bit too much. Lordy, I feel sorry for his wife, should he ever find one. oooooooops did i say that..? The more he screams at me the less I want to do around here...

They both sound like a bunch of apes upstairs, hooting and yelling at the football game on tv.........maybe i should take up a few bananas

As for the stew, how the heck can anyone not notice the meat in stew???? If the person can't/doesn't eat certain kinds of food it's up to them to check what's in things in my opinion.

What I was thinking. If you have something that important you should make it understood from the beginning... and yeah... it's kinda hard to mistake beef for chicken or pork.
Maybe he really knew it was beef but this way he gets to eat it without guilt? And now you've gone and ruined it for him

[radio_flyer]

yup, i ruined it for him... ...I think he knew all along it was beef. Like you said, is hard to mistake beef for chicken or pork... ALL in all, I don't think the renter even cared he ate the beef. Think he was just hungry and would eat any food .. He is kind of broke. Like my x husband would always say , when you are hungry, anthing tastes good...

[layla11]

I think I would start cooking horrible tasting food. Insult the chef and see what happens. Once, I put a few pieces of dog food in my sisters sandwich. It was the soft kind called choice cuts. He doesn't have to take it out on you if he doesnt let you know ahead of time, you didn't know for petes sake.

[Yoda]

AJ and your renter don't have any idea how lucky they have it. When I rented a room years ago that was what I got - a ROOM. No kitchen privileges, I could not store things in the refrigerator or cook in the kitchen. I could use the telephone but not past 10pm.

I'd be tempted to stop cooking for them. Honestly, he's an adult. He can buy his own food and cook his own meals, clean his own house, etc. That really doesn't need to be your job anymore.

Personally I would hang up my chef's apron and leave 25 or so odd take-out / delivery menus on the counter

[Nicks_Nose]

If they want chef service, leave a bill by the plate afterwarrds with gratuity calculated in the fees

[radio_flyer]

Nicks Nose.. sounds like a plan

[radio_flyer]

The renter told me tonight that I needed to show him some respect.. omg

AJ's dog was barking to go upstairs so I let the dog in and the renter started to complain that I let the dog up and saying AJ doesn't want the dog upstairs when he isn't here, blah blah blah.... SO I say the dog is aloud upstairs.. blah blah blah

SO the renter started to complain about the heat not being on and that no normal human being would not have the heat on.... It was 70 degrees upstairs and he feels the need to complain...

Then he started to close the door to the upstairs.. We gate the door open when the heat or ac isn't running. We do it for better air circulation.. Anyway I said please don't close the door. He said "I am closing the door".. I said "NO you are not"... He again said he was and I wen't upstaris and put the gate back ....

Told AJ why doesn't he complain about the dog, the heat and the door when he is home. Why does he pull this crap when he isn't here.....

Bottom line the renter is a jerk.. ... I can't stand him...AND I am not taking any crap from him either.. He is such a jerk he would not even know "respect" if it slapped him in the face............I don't have to "deal" with him... AJ rented the room to him, AJ can deal with him......Maybe AJ can cook for him too...

[Sabrina]

I don't think you said the wrong thing to your renter but I do feel that your son disrespects you. Judging from previous threads it is not the first time either. Your son should not be treating you the way he does.

Seems that both AJ and the renter might should just go find a place of their own and get out of your hair. If you need the rental income, I'm willing to bet you can find renters who are independent enough to take care of themselves and respectful enough not to treat you like dirt. I say cut the apron strings and let AJ learn to go out and live on his own.

[radio_flyer]

Sabrina... You are right about AJ, he can be very disrespectful towards me... When AJ shouts at me in front of the renter or his friends, they think they can do the same. I've been standing my grounds lately.

AJ and I have been getting along and I'm not sure what is up with him that he is venting at me again.. I used to get angry but now all it does is makes me sick. I get sick and am miserable for several days...Da mama is getting old and tired..

I honestly thought those days were history, with AJ.. Guess I'm fooling myself....

[radio_flyer]

Long story with the house, farmergirl. You make some great points ...

Thank you

Radio, I am not sure of the history; however, can you separate yourself from them in terms of household chores, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, dining, etc and just do your own thing.

For instance, pretend that you are living alone. Of course be courteous, extend salutations, acknowledge their presence, etc., but just live for yourself from now on. If they ask for something, can you say, "I'm really sorry, I cannot help you. I am busy. Maybe later"

Or if they question something, remind them that you are 3 adults sharing one space and everyone is responsible for themselves.

Is this do-able?

[lynn P.]

Its very difficult living in a house with adults, especially if some aren't relatives like this renter. The big elephant in the room as I recall is, this is AJ's house and he's middle age. It can be difficult living with an adult child. How do you see the future for yourself? Any plans to live on your own, so he can take care of himself?

Regarding the renter. Does the renter pay for meal preparation as well? Do you really want to cook for AJ who's an adult and the renters? Its a hard call to make regarding what to say to the renter. One thing for certain is - AJ shouldn't be making a fuss in front of the renter because that teaches him its okay to argue with you.

[layla11]

Hi, I think the renter needs to go, this is just not right it sounds like he disrespects you over everything and this is upsetting you and making you sick. First off I would raise his rent and tell him every time he disrespects you or the dog your going to raise it more. Then give him two week or 30 day to get out. In the meanwhile look for another renter. You can find someone maybe a little older and wiser that will act right. You have my support.

[radio_flyer]

Rose, everything you have mentioned is very do-able and reasonable. Actually everything you mentioned is what "reasonable adults" would naturally do.

I can say that AJ cleans upstairs and he does his own laundry. The only thing I've continued to do is cook. I don't mind cooking as it gives me something to do. But I do mind cooking when folks feel the need to yell at me.. Bottom line is, don't mess with the cook...

AS for the renter.... I can now say that I respectfully let the renter cook his own meals and wash his dishes. He was very surprised when breakfast wasn't waiting for him on Monday. He again was surprised dinner wasn't waiting for him. He is a bit resistant with washing his dishes. He will wash some but not all what he is used. SO I just put them in the dish pan under the sink "so I don't have to see them" and waiting for him to wash them.. I think he is getting the point loud and clear. He is on his own with his meals. I make sure there isn't any leftovers which would make it too easy for him just to warm up....

Guess we will have to see how things go...

thanks... great advice too

[radio_flyer]

Lynn,...... I agree.. Sharing a "small" house with renter is very difficult. The only good thing is I'm downstairs and they only come down to eat. I now am being very respectful of the new renter, as he now is responsible for his own meals. So we shall see how this works out.

As for the coooking, and I'm repeating myself here, I cook because well for one, I eat here too, and it give me something to do. I also try out new recipes I find online which can make cooking rather interesting..

I am old, Lynn.... How do I see the future for me? Well I best not go there because folks would be upset with how I really see my future. Although I can fool myself that all is well with me..

[radio_flyer]

Layla, I appreciate your support. Guess when folks "understand" and not "blaming me", one can see hope in solving not so good situations... Guess standing alone is good sometimes and others standing with you is also good/