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  #201  
Old Aug 07, 2013, 01:44 PM
Anonymous33115
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How do you make an egg-roll?
You push it!
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Thanks for this!
IchbinkeinTeufel, possum220, Rohag

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  #202  
Old Aug 23, 2013, 04:22 AM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
who reads this, anyway?
  
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
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Girl centipede asked the Boy centipede to come over. Two hours later she called & asked if he was coming and he said “Yes, I’m putting my shoes on”….
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
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IchbinkeinTeufel, possum220
  #203  
Old Aug 23, 2013, 04:40 AM
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possum220 possum220 is offline
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Wonder what shoes the girl centipede wore. Manolo Blanks? Cost a fortune. lols.
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  #204  
Old Aug 23, 2013, 08:25 AM
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tokiwartooth tokiwartooth is offline
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Location: North Carolina
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What number does grass call in an emergency? Fescue 911.
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  #205  
Old Aug 23, 2013, 03:42 PM
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ptangptang ptangptang is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 990
Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna View Post
Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."
Haha i like that one
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  #206  
Old Aug 23, 2013, 04:19 PM
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ptangptang ptangptang is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 990
Lady goes into a greengrocers
'Got any carrots?'
'Sorry lady, we're sold outta carrots'
Comes back 10 minutes later 'Got any carrots?'
' No, i told you we haven't got any carrots'
5 minutes later she's back 'Got any carrots?'
'I've told you 3 times WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY CARROTS. If you come back and ask again i'll nail you to the bloody wall'.
2 minutes later she's back
'Got any nails?'
'NO!!! we're a greenrocers'
'Got any carrots?'

Was that lady you madam, thought so . You look like a dozy cow.
Last edited by ptangptang; Aug 23, 2013 at 05:10 PM.
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  #207  
Old Aug 24, 2013, 03:27 AM
Anonymous37842
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Q. How do you catch a unique bird?
A. Unique up on it!

Q. How do you catch a tame one?
A. The tame way!

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Thanks for this!
beauflow
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