[DargonflyGirl]

Not sleeping and not eating alot are becoming quit normal for me lately! I believe I have and anxiety disorder and I also just found out that I have Gallstones! I'm going to write this and try to get a Lil sleep before my hubby comes home at 8am . I don't know why I can't sleep but it's becoming part of my daily routine.... But aside from the Gallstones the anxiety Disorder and the restlessness, I'm doing great! Ok I'm lying.. My husband is the number one stress builder, for me on an everyday basis! He don't see my disorder as a serious medical matter and for that matter believeS I'm making it up and I can just ignore it and it will go away! Let me explain a lil about my husband.... He and I meet 13yearS ago and my world changed drastically! You see I was a born again believer in Christ and knew nothing but church for seven years before I meet my husband. Well when I became pregnant with our first child all hell broke loose and he freaked when I told him I was going to have a baby..... And that's where it started! He started hitting and abusing me even while pregnant with his child! Later I find out that I was having twins And he just hit the ceiling! Ok I'm sorry trying to make a long story short, my question is and if anyone could help me with the question. How can I get past Savior Depression (I was diagnosed with Savior Depression a few years back), stress, and an anxiety disorder if my husband is not will to lift a helping hand and is the main trigger to all my stress, depression, and anxiety?? Now if your wondering if he still hits me today the answer to that is only with his mouth!! His words!! We now have four kid's together amino had five kid's before he and I with my first marriage and the kids also have his anger patterns! 10Years of physical abuse and three years and counting of verbal abuse. It's taking it's toll on me and I don't know what to do where to turn because I have no insurance! Can someone please give me some advice? Also leaving him isn't an option but I'm sure he'll agree to some sort of help for the whole family, I guess! HELP ME PLEASE SOMEONE! THANKS DEAR FRIENDS AND GOD BLESS!

hope you can get some sleep.

not having any really sucks

[DargonflyGirl]

I'm really going to try, but my mind is racing and the thought of my husband getting here any time is making it worse! Thank you so much Though!

[NoCake]

My mother had gallstones. She doesn't speak very highly of them lol. When I couldn't eat or sleep I was advised to drink lots of fluids. And I was advised to go to the ER if I fainted. Hopefully it's not that bad.

[DargonflyGirl]

Thank you so much No Cake.... I have been drinking lots of fluids, water mostly because I've felt so dehydrated. I broke my tail bone 5weekS ago that got better, had ta toothache from H E double hockey stick. And my tooth I still need to pull but ive had a good two months of straight pain and anxiety came along with it! I really need and want a vacation from my six kid's and My son of Lucifer husband cause I really feel I'm at a breaking point! Oh and not to mention that my mom also recently has a stroke and I've been helping and taking care of her so she is staying with me right now. My 10year old got put on probation.... And I just found out my 18year old daughter my be pregnant with her second child! I so wish I could video record my husband so he can see how he is and acts towards me and the kid's! Do you think that would work. Truthfully, I really don't wanna be any where near him. He always makes me feel worse. than I already feel about my self and has no kind of sympathy or any kind of guilt for his words or actions towards me . He's the type that will notice what you didn't finish, rather than what you had.... even if it is just a small basket of clothes! I'm constantly being told by him that it's my fault and I did what ever went wrong.. because I clean the house so I should know better! I get introuble by him just like our little ones! That makes me angry! Please forgive me, I'm venting! I no longer have friends anymore my close family members stay away... I'm so lonely and have no one to talk to.I won't dare talk to him cause I'll get one word out and than he's off cause he's one of them people who like to hear ty he sound of his own voice instead of anyone else's!! It has been getting worse with him this past week and it could be because my mother has been sleeping on my bed with me while her works overnight cause we don't have anything else but the sofa for her to sleep on. I don't know, what I do know and what I am most certain of is that I am so feed up with his belittling and sarcasm that I have been thinking about leaving my husband! h
I get no kind of support from him whatsoever in anything but scrutiny Just telling me how I never do anything right or finish what I start. He calls me with issues from work and I give him advise and encourage him and have to coach him on nice words to tell the boss! Any way I feel like if I'm going to be overwhelmed with loneliness and no sort of place in my life with ty his family I'd rather do it on my own completely. I'm sorry I know I've wrote practically a whole book. I just needed to get that out! Thanks for taking the time to read what I have to say. I forgot what it was like to acting have a person listen! Thank you so much Be Blessed!

[astenon]

DragonflyGirl,
I am so sorry you're going through all is. You have so much on your plate at the moment and the H isn't helping at all.
With regard to the sleep, could some sleeping tablets help? Over here (UK) you can get Nytol from the chemist. Just thinking that if you can get a couple of good nights behind you, some of the other issues will be easier to cope with. I perfectly understand if you don't want to do that though.

Hi DragonflyGirl,

I am so sorry for all you troubles and worries it is not surprising that you can't sleep because you have so much worry, I have problems with sleep too, I have tried meds but they only work short term.

I hope that you can get some rest soon

[Tonker]

Hey DragonflyGirl,

Im so sorry for all that your going thru, i know exactly how you feel what you are saying sounds like my story i would love to visit with you to tell you how i got thru the same things you are in my prayers
Tonker

[DargonflyGirl]

Thanks so much everyone! The sad thing is I'm happy now cause my husband is working and now I have really nice friends to talk to! I truly appreciate all your advice,.... ButterCup the sleep Meds do the same for me and by the time I know it, I'm waking up in the middle of the night back a square one! What's said is I really l Ok be when he's gone but I really hate sleeping alone, so one of my babies lay with me.... Anyway thank you all!!