I'm such a failure. whenever my parents want me to help out with stuff, i don't seem to be able to help. whenever others ask me to help and i can't do it, i get frustrated and just feel like such a failure afterwards. like i could have done something more and now everybody is not going to want me for anything if we are going to work together. yeah, that happens because last year people did not think that i was capable of working with them or something or maybe htey just didn't like me and the project did not go well because others snubbed me at best and excluded me at worst. so yeah i kind of feel bad for not being able to help. i wish i had more gifts. looking back, i could have proved myself to them so that they would have a higher opinion about me but then it's like i'm not being me. i really hate to be regarded as useless, like i would in basketball because most of the guys and girls i have met are very athletic and i feel like the minute i shoot into the basket, others will just laugh at me and go,"you idiot, you're supposed to shoot like this..." i don't want to make a fool of myself and so that has made me become less confident and i have not been trying out for things. i feel like i hear voices going hey dude you're not going to make it because you will always be a loser in everybody's eyes or even if you do make it, there will always be setbacks.

[IowaFarmGal]

In the class they call those thoughts ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) I know I have them too. They're trying to teach us not to believe these emotionally induced thoughts. Feelings are not facts. Haven't figured out how to talk myself out of it though. I hope you will begin to feel better about yourself and get rid of those thoughts.

[heartexplodes]

I agree with IowaFarmGirl
Something my therapist always says to me is to consider a thought like an email, if you don't want to read it you can just file it away or you can read it but that doesn't make it true.
She tells me that thoughts are just thoughts but that doesn't mean we have to accept them as fact.
Still having a lot of trouble with that one myself!

i just want to purge it.

[unaluna]

Its been over 40 years ago but i still think about my 9th grade girls basketball gym class. It was my first year in gym, my first time playing. I didn't even realize there were rules. Anyway one day the gym teachers put me on the best team instead of the usual worst team, and all of a sudden it was like I could really play.

I get the impression your parents aren't that involved or that close to you? You're just trying to make sense of life on your own, figure out what your values are or should be? You're right, you do want to get this figured out before you go off to college. At least partly.

Yeah but how?