[sadeveryday]

I have been going to therapy for 3 yrs. For the last 5 years of my 18 yr marriage I have been unhappy due to the fact my husband does not communicate. I have lived in silence all of these years. I finally asked for a divorce and he wants to go to therapy and try to change. Well he made the appointment at the same place I go for my therapy. His first appt. was for the intake, gathering info. Problem is MY therapist did the intake. My husband was aware that it was my therapist and didn't say a word and after I got her on the phone and complained she told me she didn't realized it was my husband until half way though the interview. I am very upset and depressed. Am I wrong to feel this way. I am thinking about not seeing her as my therapist again and I am fuming mad with my husband. Help please

[tinyrabbit]

Your therapist shouldn't continue with him unless you are happy with it, which you clearly aren't - I would tell her ASAP.

[(JD)]

Don't be upset, you shared with your T how that is unacceptable, she admitted she didn't realize (do you use different last names I suppose?)... and that should be the end of it. He should have a different therapist from now on. She sounds like it was a mistake and she would not have done the intake had she known.

It's a good thing though, imo. Your T got to see your spouse/ex to be? in a way otherwise not?

I know that during the course of some of my treatment, prior to my divorce, my then spouse demanded to see my T... and whoa! as cunning as he thought he was, my T saw right through him! (My T didn't share much more than that until many years later.) It was good to hear from my T how he understood some of my difficulties having met my tobeex, it validated my view of things. (When he met him we didn't realize my tobeex was planning divorce... ) There was no way I could even begin to progress in therapy while still in that household with (ex)!!!

It would be unethical for your T to also counsel your spouse in this situation imo, and it seems she realizes you don't want her to either.

[Travelinglady]

I agree that maybe it was good that your T saw your hubby as he is. But now he can see someone else. I'm sure it wasn't done on purpose......At least it was just the intake interview.